anotherother24 Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 I don't know what to say, I really don't have any advice for you. I just want you to know that your not alone. You actually made me feel a little better, knowing that I'm not the only one who is completely miserable, even after 7-8 months. I'm feeling the same and it sucks so much. I try to think there has to be a reason...and come up with every possible excuse for him not to call me...or seem to care. No excuse that I can think of makes the hurt any less though. ***hugs*** I guess it can only get better for us, somehow, because it couldn't possibly feel any worse. (for me atleast, and if it does, I don't want ANY part of it! )
LuCidiTy Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 so heartbreaking...all of it. and so many similarities to be found everywhere. the hurt, loss, anger, ways of coping, the dreams that nag. do they really just go away cold and forget us do you think? these men? are they relieved after they drop their tired old cliches as they walk away? if so, we really don't need them in our lives as much as we might think we want them, do we? have we never maybe inadvertantly done the same to someone? does it maybe feel different from the other side?
Author sedgwick Posted March 15, 2008 Author Posted March 15, 2008 do they really just go away cold and forget us do you think? these men? are they relieved after they drop their tired old cliches as they walk away? I know mine did. I gave him absolutely everything I had to give and it wasn't enough. I think he realized I just wasn't good enough for him, and I do understand that -- he's amazing and I simply don't measure up to him. He does need to be with someone who's as talented and wonderful as he is. I wish I had known how to be that person! I wish I could have loved him enough that it would have made up for me not being a musician. But no dice! I do understand that he's too good for me, though, so in that sense I can understand him just walking away.
tonyeltiger Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 Wow, you are really beating yourself up. You can't say that you are not a wonderful person simply because you don't play violin lol! The only reason he doesn't miss you is because he is too stupid to realize what a loving and caring woman he had. Snap out of it! He is NOT too good for you!
EllaDerSpin Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 I know mine did. I gave him absolutely everything I had to give and it wasn't enough. I think he realized I just wasn't good enough for him, and I do understand that -- he's amazing and I simply don't measure up to him. He does need to be with someone who's as talented and wonderful as he is. I wish I had known how to be that person! I wish I could have loved him enough that it would have made up for me not being a musician. But no dice! I do understand that he's too good for me, though, so in that sense I can understand him just walking away. I really hope this post is tongue in cheek. You know sometimes you can give a person too much and perhaps this was the problem. In any case the problem was not that you are not good enough. I happen to think that successful relationships are such a delicate balance, especially initially. I also think that what a person needs or thinks they need can change alot and sometimes quickly. Sometimes two people fit and sometimes they don't. It is hard not to take it personally but you really shouldn't.
anotherother24 Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 I know mine did. I gave him absolutely everything I had to give and it wasn't enough. I think he realized I just wasn't good enough for him, and I do understand that -- he's amazing and I simply don't measure up to him. He does need to be with someone who's as talented and wonderful as he is. Another thing I can relate to....I think it's really hard, or atleast I'm finding it hard not to take it personal. Like WHY WASN'T I GOOD ENOUGH? WHAT'S SO WRONG WITH ME? what could be so horrible about me to make him want to cut me out of his life completely? when all I did was love, trust, and respect him? wow...what a kick in the nuts...but I don't think it's that...it just hurts that way. You have to think about it like it happens to EVERYONE...even like...the most beautiful, talented, wonderful women and men in the world....so it can't be that we aren't good enough. Maybe it's just that we're not all compatible..or things don't work out always...maybe he's just focusing on music but he can't not love you because you aren't a musician...and if he doesn't, you are seriously better off without him..and if that's the worst thing about you, then it's not so bad either. It still hurts though...and even being told that, doesn't help it...I've been told ever lame excuse in the world, and it just makes it worse for me! lol I'm like I KNOW THIS, I KNOW THAT..but I LOVE HIM...dangit...lol
khw Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 sedgwick, I've been following your story, and it's exactly what I fear my relationship with my ex-girlfriend will be; me pining away while she doesn't give a care in the world about me. I don't think I'll ever stop loving her, but at least you got to live with him, have you two take care of each other. I've been looking forward to living with my girlfriend throughout my college tenure, and after she let me know that she didn't love me as a boyfriend (only 2 months before graduation), all my hopes were shattered. Everything I had worked for in college was to be a good man to her (never cheated, always thought of her). I had even bought the ring a few months back to propose to her, and what do you know? She breaks up with me before I get the chance to. I never even got to experience the wonders of living with the person who you would die for, who you would give both your kidneys for, who you'd do anything for to see her smile. NC? I just can't stop thinking about her. I wish I could tell you how you could feel better, but I simply can't.
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