El-Producto Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Greetings all.. I'm back on the forums for some advice. The people here were really helpful when I was going through my separation last year. Now I'm officially ready to date. I've been friends with a woman from work for about a year now. I've always had a crush on her.. but she was in a relationship. I didn't ever think anything of it, until the other night when we were at a party together. She spent the night hanging around with me, and we talked a lot. Even after her friends left, she stayed for the rest of the party. I'm usually not very intuitive when it comes to the way women act towards me.. I usually don't notice if they are interested. I was getting a strange vibe, so I mentioned something to a mutual friend, and low and behold she told the girl that I was interested in her. Turns out the girl has been interested in me for quite a while... BUT. And there is a big but. I am 8 years older than her, and I have part-time custody of my 2 daughters. I know that she is apprehensive about this, but I really think we could be a good match. My questions is, before I go and ruin our friendship by saying something stupid.. is there any point in pursuing this.. or is the age and kids too much of a hurdle for most people. I would understand if she did feel that way.. but I'd be crazy if I didn't think she were worth the trouble. Thanks in advance.
maryjane1 Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 Eight years is nothing. It is a perfect gap in my opinion.
Author El-Producto Posted March 10, 2008 Author Posted March 10, 2008 Interesting! What makes you say that? Just curious.
Balthazar Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I think that if you are truly interested in this woman, you OWE it to yourself to pursue this matter. Concerning your age difference, there really isn't much to say. I am 37 and date women in their early 20's . So 8 years in my view isn't anything to worry about, especially since the woman already likes you. Most women worry start to worry over the 10 year mark(If they really like the guy that is!). Now your 2 daughters is another matter. I can tell you from a personal experience I had just a few days ago. I went out with a lovely lady(27 years old). She had her daughter when she was 19 and had divorced by the age of 22. We have gone out a few times, and even though her young daughter seems to be OK with me, I find myself ambivalent about pursuing a relationship with a woman who has a child. I always catch myself thinking that I would just be better off finding a woman who is in the same situation as I(unmarried,without children). So I believe your 2 daughters is definitely the serious issue between you and the lady. It might be a good idea to arrange a day out and see how comfortable she is with your daughters, and vice versa. Best of luck in the matter, Cheers
Legend Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 a chick is just a chick dude, obviously the friendship isnt enough for you, why would you even want her around if you couldn't be with her? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Even if she is in another relationship, who cares? Male dominance and confidence, take what you want, and give nothing back!
Balthazar Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Preferences concerning age differences vary from person to person. And there is a psychological as well as physical facet to their preferences. Most women seem to prefer a mature man, and with women in their mid 20's, this would be a man in his mid 30's. I also believe women have a deep-rooted need to look up to their man, something which is easier to do when the man is more experienced and can guide his woman, much like the a experienced captain's hand on the tiller. I have noticed the differences in age in many of my friends and the usual seems to be for the man to be older by about 4 - 8 years or so. That having been said, I know couples that have age differences well over 10 years, and to top it all off, these couples are less likely to divorce. So, to each their own
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