a_b Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I met a guy online. We emailed for 3 months and finally met 2 weeks ago. Date was great. He smiled, looked into my eyes and asked me to go out on another date with him again sometime. The next day I sent him a text to say thanks for the great evening to which he replied he also had a good time and will get in touch with me soon to arrange our second date. A few days later he sent a text saying he will be back in town next week and he is looking forward to seeing me again. A few days later he sent an email asking if I have time to do something next week. I emailed to let him know the days I am available and he should suggest a day that suits him. As he did not respond to the email for a few days I sent him another email to say my schedule has changed and I am now free on those days... It's been a week now and he still has not responded to my emails. (He used to answer all emails/text messages the following day.) And he has been on the dating website where we met every day for the past week. Why is he not answering my emails, but spending time mailing other people? Did he change his mind? I have no problem him contacting other girls, as I am also still using the website to contact other guys. I am not putting all my eggs in one basket. I just find it odd that he sends me 3 messages to say he is looking forward to seeing me again and asking me out again and then not responding to my answer.... Any thoughts???
xfactor Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Any thoughts??? Yeah. He met someone else. Let it go. He's no longer interested.
Phateless Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 This is the unfortunate side-effect of dating websites. They tend to give people dating-ADD.
Ariadne Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I just find it odd that he sends me 3 messages to say he is looking forward to seeing me again and asking me out again and then not responding to my answer....Any thoughts??? He just said that not to make you feel bad and seem interested. He just didn't like you. Most likely he is looking for a supermodel and you were not pretty enough. Even though I don't know what you look like, I'd imagine that's the case.
Phateless Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 He just said that not to make you feel bad and seem interested. He just didn't like you. Most likely he is looking for a supermodel and you were not pretty enough. Even though I don't know what you look like, I'd imagine that's the case. Adriadne!!!! What's got into you?! Don't listen to her. He may not be into you, true, but I doubt it's about looks. You can tell when it's because a guy isn't attracted. That wasn't it. He probably just did meet someone he likes better. Keep moving.
tkgirl Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 He just said that not to make you feel bad and seem interested. He just didn't like you. Most likely he is looking for a supermodel and you were not pretty enough. Even though I don't know what you look like, I'd imagine that's the case. wow... that's a little harsh, don't you think? Who knows what's going on with this guy but himself... ? I mean... yeah, the guy sounds like a jerk for just not responding anymore but I think it's more about him being too immature or whatever to be able to come right out and tell this girl he is not interestested any more.. even though he did seem like he was in the beginning. If he is that flakey then I say you are better off!
Ariadne Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Adriadne!!!! What's got into you?! Don't listen to her. He may not be into you, true, but I doubt it's about looks. You can tell when it's because a guy isn't attracted. That wasn't it. He probably just did meet someone he likes better. Keep moving. Of course it is. If she looked stunning but didn't say a single word in the whole date, or said something completely retarded or bitchy... He'd be "all in" and calling and desperate to make another date. That's all it boils down to.
Phateless Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Of course it is. If she looked stunning but didn't say a single word in the whole date, or said something completely retarded or bitchy... He'd be "all in" and calling and desperate to make another date. That's all it boils down to. I hung out with a girl recently who's super hot and really cool but I'm afraid has baggage. That could disqualify her. Looks are important but they are not the only thing. You have some pretty bitter views.
Ariadne Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I hung out with a girl recently who's super hot and really cool but I'm afraid has baggage. That could disqualify her. Looks are important but they are not the only thing. You have some pretty bitter views. I'm pretty sure it was her who dissed you. And you were like, ah, she has baggage. It's the truth though. Wish it wasn't but looks is 90% what matters to guys, and that includes skinny and pretty.
Phateless Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I'm pretty sure it was her who dissed you. And you were like, ah, she has baggage. It's the truth though. Wish it wasn't but looks is 90% what matters to guys, and that includes skinny and pretty. Ok, here we go... looks are very important, but they are not enough to overcome other disqualifiers - I'm not out to find a hot girlfriend. I'm out find someone amazing who's also hot.
Ariadne Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 someone amazing who's also hot. See, there you go. And as far a personality, guys would put up with almost anything once they hook up with a hot girl they are drooling over. All kind of behaviors.
Replicant Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Of course it is. If she looked stunning but didn't say a single word in the whole date, or said something completely retarded or bitchy... He'd be "all in" and calling and desperate to make another date. You have some pretty bitter views. The LS queen of bitterness always has time to inject a little of her venom in even the best relationships. Her pleasure in others people pain can be taken as, insightful inpatient romance that only an asylum could love.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 This happens alot with online datings, they'll usually lose interests after a while. Yes, I agree that often it has to do with looks, but attraction and appeal can only do so much. No, there's no excuse for a guy to take the coward way out and not even have the courtesy to reply back to you. But that's the way things are. I guess its better not to let one guy affect you emotionally and try to sidestep it as a bump in the road of dating.
NotMyselfNEmore Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 (edited) Unfortunately, online romance is all about finding a needle in a haystack. You have this great pool of some lonely, some heartbroken, some players, some bitter and some honestly looking for someone to love; but the choices are so many that yes, you do tend to get infected with online ADD!! You probably made yourself TOO available. He knows that when he's done looking around and trying other "first dates" with other girls that are just as pleasant as you (he's probably done this to many other wonderful girls like yourself) he can always give you a lame excuse as of why he didn't call you again and you will be so excited to hear from him that it won't matter anymore WHY IN THE WORLD HE WAS SO RUDE TO BEGIN WITH. Don't do anything. He might come back to you. And when that time comes, make sure you are very busy for almost anything he suggests. Give him the privilege to see you whenever YOU can. Don't act bitchy, don't ask questions, don't poke around for information about what he's been doing all this time. Don't act angry or tell him you're dissapointed. Don't even mention the fact that you wondered why he stopped contacting you. BUT do make him beg. Make him want that one thing he can't quite have by making it difficult for him to know what you're thinking or how you're spending your time when he's not around you or communicating with you. If he never comes back, then learn your lesson. Do not be so available and acomodating. The best thing God made was one day after the other. There's no rush. It's not like the world will end in 2012 and you have to be married or in a LTR by then. :p:p Take your time churning this "relationship" because it will also give YOU time to find out if he really is something you want to pursue any longer than the 2nd, 3rd or 5th date. (just my 2 cents, I hope it helps) Edited March 9, 2008 by NotMyselfNEmore
mortensorchid Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 No big deal. He either met someone else, got distracted with other things, or just decided to move on. I'm sure it wasn't anything that you said or did. I have trouble accepting that as well, but things happen for a reason. It just wasn't meant to be.
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