sptu Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 hey!!!!only 3 days, and i am leaving, to go to his country to meet him and see what happens. las days, we had very sexy conversations (when we were a couple sex was a big problem as i had pain and we were stopping.) so now, it seems like i am going there, to have sex (or at least try) and then!??!?!?! i want so much to propose me to try again being together.. give me support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
TMichaels Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 hey!!!!only 3 days, and i am leaving, to go to his country to meet him and see what happens. las days, we had very sexy conversations (when we were a couple sex was a big problem as i had pain and we were stopping.) so now, it seems like i am going there, to have sex (or at least try) and then!??!?!?! i want so much to propose me to try again being together.. give me support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 In your past posts you've lamented continually that this guy has been ignoring you, won't speak to you, and doesn't want you to come visit. But now suddenly at the prospect of having sex, he's eager to talk to you. Does that make you happy? It shouldn't, if you expect this relationship to work in the long-term, unless you don't care about being respected and loved for who you are as a person -- rather than just a toy. Though it's commendable your b/f didn't force you to have sex in the past since it was painful for you, the fact it did hurt should be a sign to you that's something's wrong. There could be medical reasons -- did you ever go to the doctor for a check-up? If you haven't, you should. But, it also could have been painful because you're both inexperienced. If so, it's ususally because you're not ready for your b/f's advances -- he's just forging ahead, not caring or being aware of your needs, at all. You may have been eager to please him, because you want him to like you or keep you in his life. I don't know how old you or your b/f are, but no matter your ages, rushing into or forcing a relationship to happen no matter how much you want it to, doesn't work. sptu, i hope you have a safe trip, but your life will not end if this relationship does not work out as you like. In fact, it may be the BEST thing to happen to you in the long run. You need to quit relying on others to be happy, and figure out what it is YOU want to do with your life. Supposedly, that's the primary reason for your trip -- to get things sorted regarding returning there to go to school. So, be an adult, and make THAT your first priority. If your b/f doesn't like it, then he doesn't care about YOU, and YOUR needs will always be secondary to HIS. That's not how successful relationships work nor is it a healthy and happy way to live. Remember that. Best of luck, TMichaels
daisygirl Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 May I ask what countries you are both from? I understand if you don't want to disclose, I'm just curious. BTW, I have to agree with TMichaels in that this does not sound like the beginning of a healthy relationship. Not that I have any room to to talk, because I am in the middle of a failed marriage, however, I think that I have learned from my mistakes! I wish you the best in whatever you choose, but be careful!
Author sptu Posted March 9, 2008 Author Posted March 9, 2008 hey and thanks for the answers!!! well, we are 21 and 23 years old. and when we were having sex, i had pain and we were stopping. he never push me to continue. he is not my first but i had a problem that my doctor told me, and now i am fine. last time we met for 7 days and we didnt have even once sex. and when we decided to break up, he said that "i cant be in a different country with my girlfriend and when finally met her not to have sex with her". and its normal!!!!he is right! and he never never pushed me to do sth. also, its not that he ignores me but its that from the last time that we met(and we broke up) i am trying and he is the one who decides for our relationship. i know that he has feelings for me, or at least he had!!!i am afraid of what is gonna happen and i would like advice on how to discuss with him of keep trying. also, about sex, i said it just because i think its important in a relationship and its a pity that till now we couldnt have it.
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