watchingthewheels Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 This is one of those long posts with too much detail. I was with my ex between 1994-1995 and 2003. We got engaged in 2002 and married in 2003. After we married, I lost my job, my cat died, and my ex told me that he wasn't sure whether or not he loved me and he had "buyer's remorse"* about marrying me. We planned on going to a counselor to try to work it out. But I was overwhelmed with depression and from the other changes. I had my job for over 6 years, my cat was part of my life for 15 years, and everything was too much. So I left. With absolutely no contact. I didn't see him or speak to him from the day I left until the day we saw each other in court to sign the divorce papers. Fast-forward to 2008. I have a new career that I love. I have a home where I am happy. But I still find myself missing him and netstalking him. I'd love to write him a letter apologizing. But while it might give me closure, it wouldn't help him. And really, it might stir up old fights and ruin the good parts of my life. And it might not bring me closure. I might keep looking for an answer that never comes. *shrug* I think I know the answer to my unasked question. But I keep asking it of myself over and over again. *The "buyer's remorse" was a bone of contention between us. I was quite upset that he thought of me the same way he thought of a video game system that he bought -- or an expensive pair of shoes.
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