cammy37 Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 hello all... i would appreciate any advice that anyone can give me... i met this guy online... we chatted for hours and when we met there was instant chemistry. our first date was fun, effortless and we both found we could just be ourselves and before the evening was over, he asked to meet me again, to which i said yes. the next day he took his profile off the site which no other guy i've met online has done even weeks after dating, and for the next week he phoned regularly and emailed each day, full of compliments and lovely comments. the next 2 dates were similar... one per week and each one as wonderful as the one before. here was a guy who i not only found physically attractive, but he made me laugh like noone has before and he was a joy to be around. we kissed on the 2nd date and more so on the 3rd... and as cheesy as it sounds, i have never melted that way when a man has kissed me. and on each date he suggested the next one which immediately let me know where i stood. however, after the 3rd, the emails dried up, the compliments stopped and his energy and enthusiasm seemed to vanish. but he still asked to meet again, and once again it was a lovely evening. we did spend the night together that night, but i said i wasnt ready to have sex yet and he accepted this well and we just cuddled up.. and the next morning he was as sweet as ever. so here is the thing.. he is leaving next week to go travelling for 2 months, so i wonder if this is why he has slightly distanced himself. over a month, we only met once a week, midweek, and he never suggested we meet at a weekend. i last saw him 4 days ago, and wont see him again till he leaves.. he said he was busy, but turns out on the friday he was just out with his housemate who he sees all the time.. so why didnt he want to see me? he still calls and texts... but like i say, no more comments on how happy this makes him etc!! i'm not seeking constant compliments from him, but its just so extreme going from so many to none at all! and he knows i couldnt sleep with him as he was going away and its hard enough that he is off soon, but of course at this stage who knows whether in 2 months he'll be interested still??? so there we go.. confused ramblings.. and i know a month is nothing, but i have only fallen for someone big time once so dont make a habit of it, and somehow for the first time in 3 yrs this guy has got under my skin... thank you for reading this...
xpaperxcutx Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Is he married or in a relationship? If not, I think his first intentions were to get you into bed. I'm not implying he's a full-time player, but he exhibits the traits of one. Being sweet and attentive are always easy ways to get into a woman's heart. Perhaps he's felt that by putting in a little time and investment you might put out on the third date or so. Or, it could just be you. You might be expecting too much attention from him too soon. The both of you are not exclusive so you can't expect him to im and text you every single second of every single day. You're too idle in life, and need to preoccupy yourself with your own things, and not constantly think about him.
Author cammy37 Posted March 9, 2008 Author Posted March 9, 2008 many thanks for taking the time to reply... in my defence, i have to say that i'm definitely not idle in life.. quite the opposite... but over the years i have become so confused by the dating scene and hurt way too many times... and as happy as i am being single, i do yearn to meet the right man and settle down.. which at 37 is understandable i guess!! i dont expect texts etc all day, but it just confuses me when a guy starts off with such a high level of enthusiasm and then suddenly stops... and yet still suggests meeting up again. and this whole exclusivity thing is a new one... it used to be so simple.. you hooked up with someone and bam.. you were dating... !! now there is a long period of time where you date other people... and as women we now have a thousand rules to play by in order not to scare the men away... ... !! he's single as far as i know, but maybe youre right.. maybe he's just another player... i'm just going to hang fire and get on with my life... and maybe one day i'll suss all this out.. !
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