dmb05 Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 Hey guys...........My ex broke up with me one month ago yesterday. We were together for 2.5 years and it really devastated me when she broke it off. We basically broke up over arguing so much. She would get mad at me for buying certain things that I liked, not being on the phone with her a LOT, and wanting to hang out with my friends sometimes over her. I was very loving towards her and she was the center of my world. I did everything possible for her. I just got aggravated and told her about it when she got mad at me for buying things or wanting to hang out with a friend one weekend and that always caused us to get into arguments. Anyways, there was SC for the first 2 weeks after the breakup, then I went strictly NC. After a week, she called saying she was sorry, I was the best guy she's ever had, but she just wanted to be my friend. She said she loves me, but she's not in love with me anymore. I told her not to contact me anymore. I told her she knows I love her still but I can't be friends with her. Well this week, she called me. I didn't answer. SHe sent me an email telling me she is very sorry for what she did and the last thing she wanted to do is hurt me. She said she didnt' want me to hate her, and she hopes I could eventually be her friend and at least be civil towards her. She apologized again and said she guesses she'll try to stay out of my life, as a friend, or anything else. I ended up replying telling her I accepted her apology, I accepted that we were done, but I still didn't want to be her friend. I told her unless she seriously wants to ever work stuff out between us, not to contact me again. I'm still really sad and hurt over losing her, but I'm trying to move on. I am still madly in love with her and would do anything to sit down and try to work things out, but obviously she doesn't want to. I was hanging on to hope that she would realize she made a mistake. I did this same thing to her when we first started dating. I broke up with her twice actually, and regretted it both times. I was really hoping she would end up regretting it too, but I've lost hope. I'm trying to hang out with friends and do stuff to keep my mind off of her, but nothing really helps. I try to block out memories of her, and they just keep coming. It's like it gets harder and harder everyday. I was doing great and not really thinking of her, and then she emails me and halfway gives me hope that she's missing me but it's not looking like it. So, I'm looking at it now as if she wants to work stuff out, she knows to call. If she doesn't, then I know it's for the best and she really didn't love me like she said.
shanny Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I am a firm believer that time does cure everything... It hasn't been that long and you have still had contact so of course you are still devasted. I think you did the right thing by NC. That's the only way you will get over it. You will meet someone else (probably when you are not looking for them). I know this sounds vey cliche, but seriously, everything happens for a reason.
s_n_d Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 shanny is right. Time does heal all wounds. The time varies for each person. Its already been four months for me and Im still miserable. Im a lot better than I used to be (emotionally) yet I still love him.
Author dmb05 Posted March 9, 2008 Author Posted March 9, 2008 I swear this NC gets harder and harder everyday. I just found some emails I had sent her a year ago when I broke up with her. I said the EXACT same stuff she's saying to me now, almost word for word. She kept emailing me and emailing me, and she finally won me back. I want to ask her back one last time because what she did worked on me, but I'm positive I don't need to because I'll be back to square one of being depressed again.
smoochie Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I think you did the right thing with your answer to her. I am a firm believer in NC now. I never really got it until it was "forced" upon me and after I would reach out, just to be ignored, it was worse. With NC, you feel you have some control. You may lose your mind thinking if they are thinking about you. And as each day goes by with NC, you believe they are happy and not wondering about you. That may not be true but doesn't really matter if you guys are not going to get back together. How long were you guys together the first time you broke up with her? The second?
Author dmb05 Posted March 9, 2008 Author Posted March 9, 2008 When we first got together, I was 19 and she was 18. We "talked" a lot and I finally asked her out. I broke up with her 2 months later because I let my friends talk me into it because they didn't think she was "cool" or any of that stuff. The second time we were the same age. We broke up because of a long story about a band we were both in at a church. She got kicked out for stupid reasons, and I stayed in the band. Really shallow of me both times, I know. Well, I finally realized I loved her, so I quit the band and had to go through a LOT of stuff to get her back. Her mom and her both hated me. I ended up falling SO in love with this girl and I thought we were really going to be together forever. Her mom had even started telling people at work she thinks her daughter found "the one". I'm 21 now and she's about to be 20. I just want to think that she's going through the same things I did, and that she will eventually come back. I told her I didnt want to be with her when I broke up with her, and she kept on and kept on trying to get me back and it worked. The second time, she went strictly NC and I had to call her and email her a lot before she ever responded. I just want her back SO bad. I've never wanted a girl this much before. I just keep a little hope that she is going to come back after not having me there like I came back to her, twice. She knows how I feel about her. I ended up telling her not to call or email me anymore unless she wanted to work stuff out, so I guess the ball's in her court now, and if I don't hear from her, I guess I'll know she really doesn't want me back? I guess it's just hard to move on from someone who tried to get you for SO long and was SO happy with you and you thought you were going to be with this person forever, and then they break your heart. I know I did the same thing to her and I see how she feels now, but maybe, just maybe she'll be back.
Author dmb05 Posted March 9, 2008 Author Posted March 9, 2008 We also go to the same church, and I think that's what makes me get down every week. She acts, and tells everyone she's SO happy and it just hurts me but I try not to show it. I wonder if it's just a show she's putting on, or if she really is happy without me. It's gotten to where I don't even want to go to my own church because I know she will be there. I have to go because I am on the worship team though.
Author dmb05 Posted March 11, 2008 Author Posted March 11, 2008 Well a friend told me tonight that her and this guy from high school are dating now officially. It doesn't make sense. He's not responsible, he has no goals in life, her parents dont like him, it's just complete opposite of what she wants. I honestly think it's just a rebound and she thinks she HAS to have someone in her life. After tonight, I do NOT want her back. Yeah I still love her, but now I think she broke up with me for a guy in high school and that's ridiculous. I am close to graduating college and I have a job, and will be focusing on a career after this. It's just so ridiculous! All of my friends say they wont' last and she'll be coming back, but I don't think she will. They also say she's trying to make it known to everyone how happy she is and is loving her life now. So, I guess if she wants to be with a bum, I'm glad for her.
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