[crying] The one I love is perfect but treats me like shxt...

[LonelyInTheDark]

Hello everyone, I write this as I am crying...

 

I am 18 years old and I am in the medical field as a CNA...

 

I have seen many people die at this early age and seen things I rather not remember, how ever nothing can compare to someone you love thrashing you..

 

The one I love keeps using me.... and treating me like ****... she is the perfect girl ever, and have even gotten into over 10 fights for her, 2 of them ending in me getting beat up to the point of pain over load....

 

...can someone help me.... I am in an abusive and horrible relationship but I cant leave her..... she has even called me a pussy for crying about my best friend dying... she is all I have ...left....

[Tony T]

This is a pathetic situation. The only answer here is: grow up and get some guts!!! This girl keeps using you, treating you like dung, calling you a pussy because you were crying about the death of a friend????????????? WAKE UP!!!....or do you want to wait for her to run you over with a Mack Truck before you come to your senses and get out of this love spell from hell???

 

First go take a cold shower because you are in LALA land. The first thing I recommend is that you see a competent therapist to see just why you would love someone who is cruel and mean to you...why would you want to go through life with someone who is NOT on your side???? That is frightening, even to me who doesn't know you from a hole in the ground.

 

You are NOT IN LOVE WITH THE GIRL. You can't be. We love people because of the way they make us feel. What you are is caught up in some kind of sick, warped spell because she's good in bed (making the very big assumption that she's generous enough to tease you with some once in a while), she has a nice body or you are pathetically in need of somebody to be in your presence and you just plain don't care who. If you are caught up in her beauty, let me tell you there are some gorgeous females out there who would never think of treating you this way. Let me also tell you that if you've been way too good to her, have set no boundaries and generally been a wimp in her presence there are many, many females who are normally decent who would trounce all over you just to teach you a good lesson about taking shxt from people!!!

 

Whatever your problem is, it is so terribly complex and serious there are no words that any of us can write on these forums that can help you. You need emergency psychological assistance. I'm sorry this is a weekend!!!

 

Now if you get some guts all of a sudden, tell this piece of crap you think you love to take a long walk off a short pier....to kiss your butt...and never, ever let her image fall in front of your eyes again. Take all the power you gave her over you and reclaim it. Don't ever give away that kind of power again. Once you have told her just how angry you are and that you're too much of a man to care about somebody who is going to abuse you, two things will happen: 1. She will be in shock and will have some respect for you. 2. The most exhilarating feeling will come over you for having acquired the skills to look out for yourself and put your self respect first and ahead of anything you just happen to have some crazy idea that you love.

 

Just to get you started before you see a counselor, go here and read away: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml This will give you some insight into what's out there for men out there who don't stand up for themselves and who take the kind of shxt you're taking on a daily basis. Geeze, I wish I knew you personally because I'd wack some sense into your brain!

 

I warn you: you better get your life in order and start refusing to take this kind of treatment or you are in for a life so miserable that HELL WILL SEEM LIKE A COUNTRY CLUB!!!

 

Godspeed my man!!!

 

P.S. If your "love" is the perfect girl as you say, I'll pay you a million dollars to go out and find me one who is right there with vermin. I think you have her and you don't know it.

Edited March 8, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[carhill]

Dollars to donuts you're a geriatric/snf CNA, right? I see a lot of your fellow angels at my mom's dementia facility. Yep, someone dies there nearly every day. Really sad.

 

You're in complete emotional turmoil right now. I'd ask your employer if they can refer you out for grief counseling and parlay that into some IC.

 

You're not a "pussy". Your ability to show your emotions makes you strong enough to deal with death every day. Be proud of that!

 

If you have family, ditch the GF for right now and get with them. This is one of those times when you need them and they'll be there for you, regardless.

 

Talk to your employer today. They've dealt with this. There's no shame in asking for help.

[LonelyInTheDark]

No man, I do love her... When we started going out she was the sweetest thing, she would cook for me and we would study together and everything. Lately she has changed a lot, and at my best I try to save her from the same **** I went threw "she is starting to smoke and drink, same things I myself did at her age"...

 

She recently has started to insult me and everything, and JUST when I think I have the courage or "guts" to leave her, she shows me the side of her that made me fall in love with her. I have been in a lot of relationships at my young age, and know that she is using me and everything.

 

I even went to talk to a shrink about my problem, he said the same thing you told me. I have replaced myself and I am now calm thank you for your kind (yet rough) words...

 

She called me and said she was sorry and was crying....

 

then she called my mother when I turned off my cellphone, and I feel myself slowly slipping back into the same old pattern,...

 

TY TONY T <3

 

@Carhill, Thanks for the compliment and yeah how did you know? lol.... the only thing that keeps me from going off the cliff sometimes, is my work... of course there is nothing more sad than having a resident say "hello" one moment then asking "who are you?" the next....

 

its really sad.... and I am mexican american, it has somewhat been ingrained in my mind that crying is a sign of weakness a way of "not being strong enough" to duel with certain issues.

Edited March 8, 2008 by LonelyInTheDark

[Tony T]

Hey, Slugger, nothing I can write here is going to get you better. You are in critical condition and in need of emergency intervention. You are one of the most serious cases of love sickness I've seen. AGAIN, we cannot love someone who treats us like shxt.

 

Now, you wrote: "...When we started going out she was the sweetest thing, she would cook for me and we would study together and everything. Lately she has changed a lot, and at my best I try to save her from the same **** I went threw "she is starting to smoke and drink, same things I myself did at her age"..."

 

They always start out like that. But they all don't stay way up there. You're in love with the way she used to be. Now she knows you and is letting her guard down and showing you what she's all about. Hell yeah, it's very painful to let go of something that used to be great. You should have driven in my car six years ago when I drove it off the showroom floor. You wouldn't give two cents for it now.

 

There's a lot you need to know about love and I can't tell you all about it here...not enough space. But for now, take my word....you are in a real bad space and in very serious need of education and retraining on how to proceed in this business of finding true love because you are way way way way way off track!!!

[Tony T]

You wrote: "She called me and said she was sorry and was crying...."

 

I totally agree with her that she is the sorriest excuse for a human being that ever roamed the face of this earth.

 

The question now is how long are you going to let her hurt you, insult you, walk all over you, use you, abuse you and whatever before you come to your senses??? You can have no relationship with a woman who doesn't respect you and she will never respect you for taking her abuse. Unless you put your foot down, you are cursed with large doses of her until she finds a man who will put her in her place. Then you'll be history and out of your misery.

 

Obviously you don't want to hear this, you want to hear that she loves you more than anything in the world and that all this is because David Copperfield hypnotized her and it's all part of a TV show, right? Sorry, you're in reality. This gal is not for you. When you realize that sometime in the future...when you're bleeding so bad you need a five pint transfusion, come back and say hello. I feel so very sorry for you because I've known so many man who are in the same pathetic place and nothing will bring them out of their spell except time...sometimes a very LOT of it!

[City_girl]

Tony T you are absoluy spot on. I wish you had read my post....I could use your advice...

 

Babe, this girl is off the chain!! She's so wrapped up in herself she has nothing to give you so she takes and the more she takes the worse you feel. You are experiencing grief and the thought of another loss ( ie her) must be overwhelming. You are not loosing anyhting by ditching her, she's just no good for you.

 

Take some time out from her without breaking it off if you must but give yourself some breathing space. You aren't a pussy, real men are the one's who aren't afraid of emotion. One day she will remember and how she drove you away and kick herself, trust me