wesrjohn Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 Ive had a lot of dates after meeting online. Some on the same night we met online, some as much as a month after chatting and emailing online. Lately ive begun to tire of too much chatting and emails because I really feel that although its nice to talk and get info about the person online, there is so much of me that can only be seen or heard with a real meeting. And so many of the ladies that I thought I knew pretty well, were not even the same person they were online when I met them in person. It seems that with my rule of being totally honest either online or in person, Im finding more and more of the ladies seem to have become professional online sugar coaters. I just cant understand what they could possibly have to gain by not telling the truth. Even with the ones I thought i had great chemistry with, upon catching their lies, I totally lose interest and bail. Im getting really tired of wasting my time with professional lying chatters. Whats wrong with actually meeting someone who is who they portray themselves online and living happily ever after? I certainly do not want to have to be suspicious of every woman I meet online. It defeats the whole purpose of online dating.
marlena Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 I certainly do not want to have to be suspicious of every woman I meet online. It defeats the whole purpose of online dating. Nobody does but the fact is that the majority of people on online dating sites lie their heads off. Behind the anonymity, sick, twisted liar/cheaters/weirdos create fake personas and exploit the innocent. I did it for three years before it exhausted me mentally and emotionally. A year ago, I took down my profiles and never looked back. Hope you are luckier.
City_girl Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 I had a friend who tried online dating. She was is a British size 20, hates her shape, hates the way she looks but won't do anyhting about it kind of girl. She does look very tired and baggy eyed for her age. Her hair is wiry and messy and dyed badly, she has very little dress sense.Her face has little shape and wobbles a bit. She's just not the glamour puss type. She is lovely on the inside, very clever and nice to talk to. One day and said she was going to put a proff glamour shot on a profile. I couldn't believe my ears? I asked her what she thought these men would think when she showed up not having been made over and airbrushed and advised her to do it the opposite way round, put up a less flattering but more realistic picture and turn up made up and dressed up. I did that when dating online and it's much better when you turn up looking way more attractive than the photo...plus they already like you as a person a bit I find it weird too that people mis represent themselves but it isn't always because they intend to decieve, sometimes it's just denial, wishful thinking etc.
carhill Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 It's really no different than dating in general. People who lie will lie in person too. The only thing that won't lie is what you see (their physicality). So, look at it a different way. Use the internet as an efficient communication means to find single people to meet IRL. Resist categorizing and becoming enamored of someone strictly by their online personna. I met my wife on what would later become Match.com about 10 years ago. Our online communications helped us read between the lines, seeing how intelligent and articulate we were with the written word. It was strictly communication with a little flirtation. None of this "do me" sex talk like I hear so much these days. For the OP, look up from your list when you're in the grocery store. Single women abound
j_hunt_12 Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 I've never done online dating, but I have had lady friends I've met after first meeting online... They are almost never how they say they are. It's not always that they are worse than they are in real life, just different. I remember 1 girl, language buddy, who was really nice online but was so awkward to be with face-to-face. Normally you fill in the online blanks with what you want to see and that is a big reason this always happens.
so_sad Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I don't think it's so much that people are liars - ok, some are - but I think it's more a natural tendency to portray oneself in the best light possible. I also think that people can be more relaxed online and then once they meet in person, they can get a bad case of nerves, which might make them seem less personable. I think that's why it's best to meet early on, before you develop a lot of pre-conceived notions about what the person is like. A very good friend of mine is happily married to a guy she met online; another friend is happily engaged. It can work.
Author wesrjohn Posted March 10, 2008 Author Posted March 10, 2008 Hey everyone, thanks so much for all the excellent input. I really appreciate them all! Wes
AussieJack Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 Hey everyone, thanks so much for all the excellent input. I really appreciate them all! Wes I dated a chubster once who profiled herself as carrying a "few extra pounds" A few = three, maybe four. THis lady waddled thru the door at Starrs and practically sat on two chairs. I asked her at some point if she had her own zipcode. Ha!
AriaIncognito Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I dated a chubster once who profiled herself as carrying a "few extra pounds" A few = three, maybe four. THis lady waddled thru the door at Starrs and practically sat on two chairs. I asked her at some point if she had her own zipcode. Ha! I dont know that i'd categorize "a few extra" as being only 3 or 4, but definitely wouldn't be as large as youre saying. I'd think a few extra to be more like 10-15 or something. It's quite rude that you asked her if she had her own zip code though, what could you possibly have to gain from that?
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