Kamille Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 (edited) Bf and I had our first date since deciding we were going to try and see if we could work though our issues Right now I'm feeling giddy, but I now understand why getting back together with anyone must be hard. The first hour was simply awkward. At one point, he talked about his plans for the next few months, plans which we were no longer making together. That just felt really odd. I suddenly felt very insecure and had to fight the urge - a weird urge - to say anything so that he would have to tell me he was still as devoted to me as he was when we broke up. This, in spite of the fact that I wasn't even sure about my own feelings. Fortunately, years of participating on LS discussions kicked in and I was able to rationalize that no, he didn't have to be as devoted to me as two weeks ago when we broke up. That we needed to rebuild trust one step at a time. I smiled, talked about his plans a little and then told him it felt strange to talk about the future like that. He smiled too. Said - "right now I feel like the doors are wide open and nothing is set in stone." And somehow, his tone, his smile, his eyes I suddenly just felt really happy for him. Then we had dinner. He had made one of the first meals he ever made for me along with my favorite sidedish. He went outside to smoke and had smoked outside all afternoon. We drank some wine at dinner, without overdoing it. He corked the bottle. Then we cuddled on the couch and talked. About us. And it was actually good. I said that at times I had the impression that I wasn't being heard in our relationship and he actually answered: "yes I see how you might have gotten that impression. I assure you I was listening but I recognize that I didn't always act like I was and that it must have been really frustrating for you." At which point j'ai fondu en larme (I melted into tears). You know one of those: but that's all I needed to hear, all along. then... well... we cuddled some more and then well... you know. So I have no question or anything. It just feels like you guys have been my support lately and, in a way, I guess I am counting on you guys to keep me in check. Edited March 8, 2008 by Kamille
amaysngrace Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I'm glad to hear this Kamille. Him saying he understands where you're coming from is huge. Because next time he doesn't seem to get it you can use this as a point of reference and you'll know he knows what you mean. It's good stuff.
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