youngbuckkk Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I've been lurking on this site for about a month following my break and have found tons of inpirational advice as well as rational advice from many users, so I've decided to join the communitty and would like to say hello to everyone and vent somewhat. My story is one of the most common, GF of 3.5 years decides she wants to go on a break because she all of a sudden isn't sure whether she wants to be in a relationship now and needs time and space. The way she let me off was really crappy IMO, she began acting distant, then made up these excuses that she felt guilty that she didn't get to spend enough time with me, we only saw each other once a week because she was so busy with school and work. Another crucial reason she said was because she feels I had no motivation since I am not sure what career I want to pursue in life and am currently only working part-time, even though I do go to school full time, I'm 21 BTW. So I decide to man up and break it off with her because I know that's what she wants, this was in the end of January. She says she thinks it's a good idea for both of us and she emphasizes that she thinks it's more positive for me since I need to grow and learn to grow without her. I tried talking to her in the beginning and asked her if we could still go on dates and she agreed, but it would always be me doing the contacting, so after a while I kinda got the hint I wasn't wanted and told her I needed NC. Now this girl was my first and only love and we were very much isolated from friends, so being the clingy guy I ended up sending her flowers on V-day with a note hoping that we would work out. I ordered them a week before Vday, but on the actual day I was in the anger stage and when she called to thank me for them, she was crying and telling me she's so happy I sent them and that she loved that I wrote I hope we work out, I tried to play the manly role and told her that I sent them a week ago and I didn't really believe that anymore. So then she got very upset and like an idiot I texted her that night telling her I didn't really mean that I was just trying to be strong and what not. She wouldn't answer the phone and simply texted me back saying she needed space now. That was 3 weeks ago, and I haven't tried to contact since. I see her at school every once in a while passing, and neither of us acknowledge each others presence. I did the whole myspace/facebook checking up until about a week ago when I decided to let it go. I just feel like crap now, this girl totally changed her colors once we broke up. I would read her myspace and see that she now goes out with friends about 4 times a week, wen she could only make a day for me, now smokes (something she would always get on me to quit because she didnt like the smell), and is now joining a sorority. So that's my story, any words of encouragment or advice would be greatly appreciated.
BalancenLuv20 Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Well first of all good for you for backing off the myspace/facebook thing because sooner or later you will begin to see more and more things that upset you and make you jealous until one day it's the new bf and your heart shatters into a million pieces. Back off and let her do her thing. I know you were trying to sweep her off her feet with the v-day flowers, but why bother when she's made it clear she's willing to make no conceited effort to want to be in your life and be a gf. The only person that's made any effort has been you. The whole dating thing after you just broke up was probably a bad move as well. I went out with my ex a few times right after we broke up and it was just awkward and I didn't know how to treat her like just a friend, it was too much for me. In terms of her starting up smoking, going out more, joining a sorority, etc. which you said isn't normally like her, people change especially at these younger ages around high school and college. Hurt like hell that my ex totally went from sweet,innocent,caring,loving girl to manipulative, hard@$$,inconsiderate human being overnight, but that's the way it goes and there's nothing to do except do your own thing and move on and realize it probably happened for a reason. Build a productive and rewarding life for yourself that will give you the opportunity to meet other people and give you things to get your mind off your ex. Easier said that done I know, but it sounds like you're just going through a rough time and trust me once you've had sufficient time(can't say how long that is, it just varies from person to person) away from the ex and have found something you're truly passionate about, she will begin to fade out of the picture.
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