fral945 Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 If I am in a relationship will someone I WILL choose if they masturbate to trashy low life women. If saying this is not allowed makes me a prude to you then that is fine. Porn is a banned substance because anytime he masturbates to it he is choosing it over me. Some women will not put up with shallow men. Sorry. Deal with that reality. Lighten up a bit, you sound like a control freak. I'm with Dirk Diggler, you are the definition of a prude.
rainfall Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 Lighten up a bit, you sound like a control freak. I'm with Dirk Diggler, you are the definition of a prude. I am not a prude I just know what I will and will not allow into my relationships.
JerseyShortie Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 Audrey: This has been a great post, though, because I'm encouraged that there are bigger prudes out there than me. Sorry Audrey but this statement is completely illogical. There is no connection between my views of porn and how sexual a person I am. The fact that you think that it does, speaks about how closely you tie the acceptance of porn to how sexual a person is or isn't in this case. Since you think my opinions of porn are reason enough to know what I am like behind closed doors. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- I realize at this point trying to debate with you about this is trying to advocate veganism to a tiger but it's fun, so I'll continue on.... Awww, that was cute. Thank you. Personally I would have correlated it to poking a monkey with a stick but hey, we both got Zoo Animals references in there so we are on the same page with something at least. If I was trying to be inflammatory, I wouldn't have stated I wasn't... Maybe.....or maybe you were just doing it in such a way to make it only appear that way. NO, and I notice you didn't quote this because this is not what I said.... That isn't the reason I didn't qoute it. You take the way I post personally when you really shouldn't. I have said alot of other things that you completely ignore yourself. ".... and also to point out that that are usually other forces driving their opinion that porn is bad, rather than porn actually being bad, period. You are right! There are alot of reasons why I dislike porn. You only want to make it about "insecurity", you completely ignore and gloss over the majority of the other issues. I don't deny that I don't have my insecurities. But I also don't deny all the other aspects of pornography that bother me. It is all these reasons that I have previsously discussed that all are factors that go into my issues with porn: the volume, the explotation, the disrespect, the degrading, the amount of time men spend with it... and so on. You seem to enjoy twisting words around, but that doesn't work unless the person whose words you're twisting doesn't care and won't defend themselves. I don't think like you and I come to the conclusion based on the information I gathered and how I understand it. You really need to stop with the personal attacks that hold no merit. My sexuality isn't tied into porn either, welcome to the club, doubtful hardly anyone else's is either. Porn is entertainment if you please - to consider it anything else, is just ridiculous. Actually, I think it is quite ridiculous to say that hardly anyone else's sexuality is tied to porn considering the envovlement men have with it and the protrayl of fantasies in the porn. It is NOT natural to be insecure about your H watching an 18y/o, or any other woman in porn actually.... The only conclusion I can come to for a person to make this statement is that they do not understand human physcology very well. If it is natural for a man to get turned on by the simulation of a sexual act of another woman on screen, it is just as natural for a woman to get insecure about her man indirectly validating and checking out other women by masturbating to them. It is NOT NOT NOT natural to feel that way, I can't stress that enough - if you are secure in yourself, and your relationship, it follows to NOT be insecure by a nameless image on a screen, regardless of what it is. Actually, it's completely natural. And I can't stress that enough. Just as natural as it is for a man to get turned on by porn, women often respond to things differently and have different points of contention. It's very natural for a woman to feel unidentified with her partner when he is actively seeking what he seeking through porn. Does that mean I think he is going to leave for a porn star? (Not unless he has real chance of it happening, obviously no) But I think it's really rather silly not to understand why so many women struggle with this issue. There is nothing to excuse, men want to look at something that it is natural for them to want to look at. I never said it wasn't natural. I don't understand why you think this is part of the argument. I believe my argument had more to do with self control or lack of. And the argument can be made, that for women to be insecure and try to persuade their H/SO to stop looking at it is also not "controlling themselves". Sure she is! She controlled herself not to beat him over the head with a frying pan. You sound like a controlling woman JS, you want to be able to say, don't look at that, I don't like it - but it he doesn't like your reaction to him looking at it, then that makes him an insensitive clod - shouldn't that go both ways. Okay, did we not already discuss this? Did I not already tell you that I never told a man he couldn't look at porn. That does't mean I don't build my own resentment and hurt over it. It would be nice if men would put down the porn and actually be more concerned with the woman they do have, but I guess that is a pipe dream. And yes, I do find men hurtfully insensitive on this topic. You continue to state that I am ignoring women's rights and opinions and we should just suck it up, but if you want your say about what you like, why doesn't he get his Seriously, my feeling is if he wants to look at porn, that's fine. But then don't pretend you want to be in a committed relationship with me. Just stick to the porn and don't get into a committed relationship with a woman. That sounds fair! He can look at all the porn he wishes for and esires. But in the context of a relationship, it's all about him getting his cake and eating it too. And I am suppose to make the sacrifice while he gets to have me and all this porn. Emotions have absolutely nothing to do with it. You believing that it does, is a big part of your problem with it. Actually, believing there is no emotions involved for men with porn is part of your big problem. I didn't say the emotions included ones of love. You always make the point that it is 'natural" for men, and I agree. But porn generates an emotional response as well as a physical one. All things pleasurable do. It's a reward factor. Men do have an emotional response to porn, an illogical one. And you justify a man's emotional response but seem to think a woman should ignore and control hers so that he can get what he needs but she can't get what she does. The porn doesn't cause the resentment, trying to dictate his entertainment to him, in the confines of a mild/moderate amount of porn watching, is what will cause resentment. I resent being told what I can and can't do - especially when it is something that is harmless. And him watching it causes resentment as well. Being told that he needs both porn and me to be happy causes resentment. Which resentment case is worth more to you? You have a choice to feel one way or the other, you choose to feel the resentment and anger - and over a flickering little image on a screen. Aren't there better things to worry about? Really? Aren't there? As he would choose to feel resentment and anger over not being able to look at porn anymore. He has a choice too. We all have choices. Men are not choiceless when it comes to their choice to view porn. They are not little boys that need every little need met the second they feel something. That is illogical, that is selfish. Are there better things to worry about? Yes. Are there better things a man could be doing instead of looking at porn? Yes. If there are better things to worry about and porn isn't a big deal, then why do men make it into one just as much as women do?
MakeLemonade Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 I was responding to the guy saying all women who hate porn are religous or prudes or insecure nothing else. Ah, my mistake, my apologies.
tanbark813 Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 If I am in a relationship will someone I WILL choose if they masturbate to trashy low life women. That's a little psycho and controlling.
rainfall Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 That's a little psycho and controlling. Better to be psycho and controlling and find someone who agrees with your viewpoints on life then to sit back and be miserable, because you didn't do anything about things in your relationship that were making you upset.
loveratud Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 Better to be psycho and controlling and find someone who agrees with your viewpoints on life then to sit back and be miserable, because you didn't do anything about things in your relationship that were making you upset. A relationship composed of two psycho, controlling people... Ever see Natural Born Killers?
MakeLemonade Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 A relationship composed of two psycho, controlling people... Ever see Natural Born Killers? If every there was one, these 2 could be the poster child. Although she wasn't as much controlling as just completely psycho.
JerseyShortie Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 If every there was one, these 2 could be the poster child. Although she wasn't as much controlling as just completely psycho You know, no one is calling you names or making fun of you for your beliefs about being pro-porn. Maybe you can extend the favor and not take cheap shots at other people just because they don't believe the same as you. There is a huge difference between disagreeing with someone's opinion and taking shots such as you and the poster above you are doing now. Completely uncool and unintelligent.
rainfall Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 A relationship composed of two psycho, controlling people... Ever see Natural Born Killers? Just because I will not allow porn into my relationship does not make me a psycho. Just because I would leave my SO if I found out he was watching porn does not make me a psycho. Porn is a deal breaker for me. Some people don't want to date people who drink, smoke, gamble, play video games all the time, or many other things that I could list that are " deal breakers" for some. Just because porn is one of my few deal breakers does not make me a psycho. I should not have to sit there and allow something into my relationship that I feel is wrong just because the majority of society says it is ok. There is absoulty nothing wrong with knowing what you want out of a relationship and making sure you are able to find it. I also have seen natural born killers actually. I think it is a really good movie.
kathiekat Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 DUMP HIM!!! I have been mairried for 10 years and one year into marriage, I caught my husband doing the same thing. It damaged my sex appeal for him and I have continued in the marriage and just found out yesterday that for the past year and a half my husband has been dating escorts for sex. I think this behavior of viewing porn will lead to other things. I am so hurt and wonder if I should even let him see our three year old twins.
Author crazybaby Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 Obviously you are not meeting minimum requirements here. So instead of being angry at him for watching porn, put that wasted energy into more explosive sex. What exactly is that meant to mean? are u saying if a girl is rubbish in bed men look at porn? are you saying there that i am bad in bed thats why my bf looks at porn? Without going into specifics my bf and i have a healthy sex life and its not gonna be made any more exciting by turning on porn. I did not whine and complain on and on about it dirk diggler we had one argument about it and left it at that. I felt for myself the issue was not resolved to my satisfaction so came on here to vent. And how can you possibly say if you don't like porn your a prude? thats just laughable. (GoodOnPaper) "To the OP, your boyfriend's defensiveness at getting caught is probably a bigger red flag than the porn use itself" Yeah, he let me down allot by how he reacted. i was shocked when i came in and caught him but he reacted so viciously, rude and plain horribly to me .His reaction hurt me more than the porn did.
MakeLemonade Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 You know, no one is calling you names or making fun of you for your beliefs about being pro-porn. Maybe you can extend the favor and not take cheap shots at other people just because they don't believe the same as you. There is a huge difference between disagreeing with someone's opinion and taking shots such as you and the poster above you are doing now. Completely uncool and unintelligent. Listen, I was talking about the 2 PEOPLE IN THE MOVIE NATURAL BORN KILLERS. NOT ABOUT YOU. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU. I could care less about making you look bad, you are doing a fine job of that all on your own.
JerseyShortie Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Listen, I was talking about the 2 PEOPLE IN THE MOVIE NATURAL BORN KILLERS. NOT ABOUT YOU. Glad to hear. My mistake then. I could care less about making you look bad, you are doing a fine job of that all on your own. You're very good with the passive aggressive shots! Gee now , who would wonder why I thought that previous comment was a shot that turned out not to be.
DetroitGirl Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 This is a joke right? Men like to masturbate and that is that. You are going to complain about him playing with himself? Oh, would you rather he go play elsewhere? From the time puberty starts they play with themselves, its a feeling of comfort for them. Their hand is a better fit than any women will ever be.
kalashnikov Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 When I have a boyfriend, he can masturbate all he wants! I don't take it personal. Hell, I masturbate too! That's how people are! I would have blew his mind if I saw him masturbating to porn. I would have encouraged him to continue and kneel between his legs and help him out. Haha. thats the spirit
blind_otter Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I can't believe this shiz is still going on. You people are ca-ray-zay. You can't sit there and dictate how every single person in the world leads their life - you don't like it. OK. Other people do. OK. You chose to be with men who don't use porn. OK. If you are with someone and find out they use porn, you dump them. OK. That is all.
JerseyShortie Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Their hand is a better fit than any women will ever be. They why don't they just stick with their hand? (No pun intended)
rainfall Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 This is a joke right? Men like to masturbate and that is that. You are going to complain about him playing with himself? Oh, would you rather he go play elsewhere? From the time puberty starts they play with themselves, its a feeling of comfort for them. Their hand is a better fit than any women will ever be. I don't think its the fact that a guy masturbates is what bothers most women. I think the fact that he is masturbating to naked women besides his SO and thinking about having sex with them is what bothers most women.
borntorun Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I don't think its the fact that a guy masturbates is what bothers most women. I think the fact that he is masturbating to naked women besides his SO and thinking about having sex with them is what bothers most women. You have a point. First you have to accept that fact that every guy chokes the chicken. Women also beat the beaver, though maybe not as much. If it is simply an outlet , so what. Would you rather have him doing that to some random por stars picture on the computer, or would you rather have him banging the neighbors daughter? So my advice, dont worry so much about it. Men have it in our genetic make up to spread the seed, so to speak, lol. So be glad he's doing it to a computer screen. Now if you have suspicions that he's cheating on you, thats a different story...
audrey_1 Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 You have a point. First you have to accept that fact that every guy chokes the chicken. Women also beat the beaver, though maybe not as much. If it is simply an outlet , so what. Would you rather have him doing that to some random por stars picture on the computer, or would you rather have him banging the neighbors daughter? So my advice, dont worry so much about it. Men have it in our genetic make up to spread the seed, so to speak, lol. So be glad he's doing it to a computer screen. I speak for my situation only; I'm okay with the computer screen. Other women? Not so much.
JerseyShortie Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 Would you rather have him doing that to some random por stars picture on the computer, or would you rather have him banging the neighbors daughter? Because that is the only two options women have when it comes to men? If so that is really messed up. And it is really disheartening. How about if men can't be loyal, they just don't get into relationships where there is suppose to be a commitment? Because if a woman's only options is a man fantasing about cheating, or a man actually going out to cheat; then there are alot of women out there getting screwed over metophorically. And it is a really lazy statement to say "hey at least he really isn't cheating"...nudge nudge, wink wink.
cutegirl Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 This is simply not true. You're making false assumptions about men and then getting pissed off about it. Have fun with that. In response to : "Porn gets to be men's fantasy that they long for and the real life woman gets to be the one he has sex with after getting off to his fantasy on what he really wants." from Jersey Shortie, how is this not ture Tanbark813??? The guy who is watching porn actually wants to bang the girl in the porn but he has to settle for the woman he has in real life even though his fantasy of what he really wants is someone else... I don't see how this is generalizing, if he is jacking off to the girl in the porn then it is the girl in the porn that he wants, but he has to make do with his real life woman, and while he's boning his REAL life woman he's probably imagining that she was the girl in the porn. I tend to believe this is true as well. How can this not be true?
shadowofman Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 Usually I am imagining my real life woman banging the girl in the movie. Or the dude.
rainfall Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 You have a point. First you have to accept that fact that every guy chokes the chicken. Women also beat the beaver, though maybe not as much. If it is simply an outlet , so what. Would you rather have him doing that to some random por stars picture on the computer, or would you rather have him banging the neighbors daughter? So my advice, dont worry so much about it. Men have it in our genetic make up to spread the seed, so to speak, lol. So be glad he's doing it to a computer screen. Now if you have suspicions that he's cheating on you, thats a different story... Looking at porn and thinking about sleeping with the chick isn't much better then cheating. You still want to sleep with someone else. You just either don't because you don't know the person or you are afraid of getting caught and losing you SO. I don't think anyone should have to choose between their partner going out and sleeping with someone else or looking at porn and wishing they could sleep with someone else.
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