Evenal Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Hi im new here , just wanted some clarity on a few things. Let's see where i should start... Well i've been in a LDR for over a year now. We are both guys so if you have hate messages please do not comment. I'm writing because I used to get my boyfriend a lot of surprise gifts. Recently I have come short in means of money. I can hardly support myself as it is and have actually requested help from my mother for support with paying my debts off. I used to love (and still do) surprising my boyfriend, but without the means to do so i cannot at the moment. He recently suggested his interest in a certain expensive camera. I have told him i would love to get it for him but at the moment cannot afford it. It just doesnt seem to get through to him. Comments such as " You used to go out of your way." "If you work something out I will stop bothering you." "I'm not going to stop asking for help." "I am going to start dancing at the club that I promot" ect ect. I have to tell him dozens of times a day that the constant nagging is start to annoy and aggrivate me. He has sent me text messages about it. He says "So you're never going to help me again?" "Who's going to help me now?" I said "You work, you should save part of your paycheck every time you receive one and save up for the camera you want ,because I cannot afford anythign at the moment." He then tells me he doesnt like that i call it annoying and doesnt like the words aggrivating, and tells me to find a way to help him even though i really cant. He even tells me to use my own mother's credit card. I know the camera is important to him but I just don't know any ways to get the point across that I cannot help him get it. Any thoughts suggestions feedback reflections past experience with something similar would be great. thanks a bunch.
curiousnycgirl Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I don't understand is he a prostitute? Does he expect you to pay for his services? You've hit hard times, why doesn't he try to help you out for a change? I find his entitlement mentality to be perfectly absurd, shallow, and frankly makes me wonder why he's in the relationship to begin with. I am so very sorry to be saying this, as the last thing you need is to be kicked when you are down. However now is when you find out who is "true" in your life and who is not. Feels to me like you need to have a very serious discussion with him, and I assume the end result will be that you two are no longer together. I am so very sorry for you, but I KNOW you can find someone who will give as good as he gets, which is what you deserve.
blind_otter Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 He doesn't sound like he's being very understanding or loving....you should not have to pay him for the honor of being in a relationship with him! To be honest it sounds like this relationship is very one-sided. I've always thought that you know who truely cares about you when the chips are down and you're having a hard time -- the ones who understand and stick by you without demanding anything monetary from you are the ones who are really good for you.
ellie01 Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 I'm really sorry to say this, but he sounds really materialistic and shallow. Firstly he shouldn't expect you to buy him anything he wants, gifts are gifts not demands. Secondly if you can't buy it for him he should accept that. I would be thinking if your 'gifts' are the only thing that satisfies him in the relationship is it really worth it?
TMichaels Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 Take it from the Fab Four... Can't buy me love, love Can't buy me love I'll buy you a diamond ring my friend if it makes you feel alright I'll get you anything my friend if it makes you feel alright 'Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love I'll give you all I got to give if you say you love me too I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love Can't buy me love, everybody tells me so Can't buy me love, no no no, no Say you don't need no diamond ring and I'll be satisfied Tell me that you want the kind of thing that money just can't buy I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love Best, TMichaels
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