crazieshnurple Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I never thought that I would actually post with a legit question, but I find that I'm stuck and I need to. I've been seeing my boyfriend for nine months and I'm absolutely in love with him. We have a really incredible relationship that I wouldn't trade for anything... we "understand" each other, get along with each others families, have fun together, are totally comfortable with each other, great sex life, etc. However, his car broke in the beginning of December and he hasn't gotten a new one yet. He's trying, but it's been taking awhile (he's 19, I'm 17). This is not the issue. We work around it as much as we can, and he rides his bike to my house a lot (it's about an hour bike ride) and we still see each other a good amount, however not as much as we would like to or used to, and living in Ohio, the weather often prevents him from riding. He's in college and I'm still in high school so he has a lot more freedom to come over at night and whatnot, while I have to be home earlier (but he is allowed over). This does effect our relationshpi a lot though because it used to be, if we got into a fight (which was extremely rare), he would just come over and we would talk it out. It's when we fight on the phone that things get messy. Still this is not the whole problem. Anyways, here is the issue... we have been fighting a lot over really stupid things, and it's all my fault. I have been on accutane for the past five months, and the start of that was when it all started (For those of you who are not familar with accutane, it's the strongest prescription acne medication there is and has a lot of side effects that have to do with being emotional). This makes me really really sensitive and I get mad at him a lot over really dumb things and he always apologizes and understands etc., but I always drag it out. I say thing to push his buttons so that he'll continue to fight with me, but he rarely does because when he gets upset he just goes quiet. We're in a "fight" right now and I know I'm being a total bitch and I'm going to ruin this relationship if I can't learn to control myself. I love him, and I want things to go back to the way they used to. Before my medicine, I was extremely loving, kind and caring and now I'm just kind of bitter. I want myself and our relationship back. I guess my question is, has anyone else had medication that has negativally effected a relationship? How did they deal with it? What can I do to stop being so touchy and hurting him all of the time?
juliebijoux Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 (edited) You are lucky to at least be aware of the side-effects. When I first started on a medicine, my doctor only told me about the side-effect of weight gain, but as it turns out there were tons of other side-effects including emotional-psychological ones. I learned I had to do my own research. You said you are in high school, so would it be possible to go see a guidance counselor to explain your medicine and your concerns that it is changing your personality? I know that could be a scary thing to do, but even if the counselor cannot directly help, they have a lot of resources. My bf at the time was very supportive, but finally my erratic behavior got too much for him. I kept on wanting to break up with him, and we would fight all the time. We were at different schools in different states, so we ended it saying that maybe in the future we might get back together, but I think that if I had realized that the medicine was taking over me and gotten help with it, I might have dealt with the situation in a better way. Edited March 7, 2008 by juliebijoux How it changed my dating
NuTuDating Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 You need to talk to the doctor who prescribed the medication, not us. Seriously. Dump the medication and keep your boyfriend. Most people outgrow acne and chances are the doctor will have a wide variety of other options for treating the acne. See the doctor! ASAP!
Replicant Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 We're in a "fight" right now and I know I'm being a total bitch and I'm going to ruin this relationship if I can't learn to control myself. I love him, and I want things to go back to the way they used to. Before my medicine, I was extremely loving, kind and caring and now I'm just kind of bitter. I want myself and our relationship back. Say what!?....All women possess that inner bitch. It's a package deal. BUT if that prescription is transforming you beyond what is normal and into a medically enhanced super bitch. I think that is more than most men can tolerate and may get you dumped as a worst case result of this fighting. Consult your doctor about the medication and dosage and surely not leaving your boyfriend in the dark about what's going on.
Author crazieshnurple Posted March 8, 2008 Author Posted March 8, 2008 Thanks for the advice everyone. But my boyfriend does now about all of the side effects and risks of the medicine which is why he's so understanding all of the time. I wanted to go off of it but I only have a month left in a cycle and he really wants me to finish it just so I won't regret it later. I'm going to talk to my doctor about how I can maybe control this.
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