Lost in a Maze Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Hi all Ive been browsing this site for a few weeks now.So i thought id fill you in for some advice. im 23 and my ex of 4 and half years is 20. me and the ex split up xmas day and had no contact for 3 weeks.. then she contacted me and said she really missed me and we fell out over something of nothing, and she wanted it all back.. we were set to be married and she previously lost two babies so we gave it a shot.then after a week she said it didnt feel right and she wanted to be just mates so i said fair enough but she was still ringing me and texting to go to cinemas and for meals etc! then 2 weeks ago she rang me for like an hour saying she made a mistake and she is sure she wants me and everything again like marriage and kids so id just moved into my new house and she was staying their every night up until last friday night because i had work early next morning, she text me the next day stating that she isnt sure if she is ready for this or to be with me and she needs sum time and she was really sorry.. ive not spoken to her since now so its been n/c for 6 days.i know she is really confused but i dont no if i can put my self through this pain of not knowing if she wants me if she did get back in touch.. which im thinking is highly unlikely as she usually finds some excuse to contact me and she hasnt.. what should i do any advice appreciated!
D-Lish Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 The only thing you can do in this situation is remain in no contact with her. I think that if she reaches out to you again and asks for a reconciliation that you should advise her that you are unable to trust her and need your own time to think about what is best for you. She seems to be patterning back and forth between wanting you and then not wanting you. You can't continue to put yourself through this. You set a precedence everytime you run to her when she calls. I know it's hard not to go back because you love her- but you can't allow her to keep doing this to you. Of course she will reach out again, it's her pattern... but changing her mind is also her pattern. You MUST not let her into your life so quickly the next time she calls and begs to have you back. Trust me- if you give her a taste of her own medicince and refuse to get involved with her again- or better yet, just ignore her when she calls... you'll be doing yourself a big favour. This will give her pause to think about what she really wants. If she wants you back- you must make her fight for you and prove to you that her intentions are honorable. If she is still unsure, she has no business playing tug-o-war with your emotions. You have the control to stop her from doing that.
Author Lost in a Maze Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 hey thanks d-lish She says she doesnt know if she wants me or to go back there with me because she thinks i was beeing nice as an act just to have her all to myself!this is so untrue.. i know i want her for her because i love her so and im not one for getting someone pregnant for the fun of it! id rather her just say i dont love you if thats the case not i dont know!im so confused right now!
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