wanting desperately to get my ex girlfriend back... ( ?)

[frankie123]

hey all my name is Frankie. Im 19 years old, out of school and was going out with this 17 year old girl senior still in high school. We was going out for a little over 6 months before 'she' broke up with me. Now..i was in love with this girl, emotionally, mentally, and physically. You name it...i was so crazy about her and so was she. We was talking about our in depth future together and having kids one day and being married and all the cute lingerie she was gonna wear for me. And throughout this 6 months we had great memories, but we also had our normal (like every couple has) good times and bad times, up and downs. We got through all that..shared so many things together, emotionally physically and sexually. We had a great connection, a great chemistry with each other and now all of a sudden after a lil over 6 months of love and great moments in our relationship, she breaks up with me. And for what reason? She says that im not the bad boy that i used to be when we first started going out, that im too sensitive and too appologetic. After she broke up with me she said that we lost that spark, lost that chemistry we once had n that im not that guy that once swept her off her feet. She says she loves me but just not the same anymore. She says she wants space and freedom and focusing on getting out of school and into college. Now im probably too old to be messing around with these young high school girls and developing strong feelings for them when they are young and naive and havent experienced all of the world but i genuinely cared for this girl. I did everything for this girl, cared for her through the roughest times, been there for her when she needed me the most, did anything and everything for her, took care of her, loved her and still love her and then all a sudden she leaves me because she wants space and that we lost that chemistry and that she wants to date n feel free. I'm still in love with her but she doesnt feel the same way anymore, her love for me. I've kinda pushed her away i would say and making her mad and defensive because ive been begging for her back and annoying her and just begging and begging and trying for her to give me a second chance. How do i get her back? How do i make her understand that we can get that chemistry back? Should i continue feeling depressed about this or rise up and show her that we can get this chemistry back and how do i go about doing that? I've pushed her away by begging and annoying her trying to find ways for her to give me a chance but i am so in love with this girl and never have felt this way about another girl. How do i go about getting her back and making our chemistry and connection grow stronger than it was before? Please someone give me some legitimate advice on how i get her back with me. I'd appreciate it a lot!

 

 

<3 Frankie

[frankie123]

this happened tonight....

 

she was at work and she texted me asking me if i would bring her something from starbucks? So i picked it up n brought it to her at her work and then when i got there i got inside and she said that they have let her off work early so then she says she wants to do somethin with me, so then i took her to applebees to eat and we started talking and having a fun time but then i brought up the whole i miss you and i love you and wish you would give me the chance to get this spark back with you and she just started getting frustrated and saying its been so nice hanging out with me but she doesnt want to talk about that. She said that we have just lost that spark and she just wants to be friends now but she wants to hangout with me. She just went on her spring break n she wants to hangout with me a couple times or so while on her spring break, but she says just as friends but...is there any chance i could make an advance at her n get this chemistry back going as just friends? She also told me that guys at her school are jerks and now she doesnt want to date at all right now and i said well not all guys are not jerks, im not a jerk n u could date me, someone who loves you. But she said we are just friends right now. So im kinda relieved shes not planning on dating anyone but is there any chance that she will be willing to work things out with me and give me a chance to build that spark up between us or does she just need space and time to think? Someone read my story and this reply and please someone give me some advice. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

 

<3 Frankie

[xpaperxcutx]

First of all, when you start begging, the first signal that you send out would be DESPERATION. Nobody like anybody that's desperate, which in turn makes you needy and clingy. No wonder she's immediately turned off.

 

Now when a girl says that she just wants to be friends, you have to accept the words that are coming out of her mouth which means, she just wants to be FRIENDS. There's no cryptic messages or codes emblazoned on it, it means what it literally means, FRIENDS. And when a girl says that, you basically have to respect her wishes and not respond with an answer that you miss her and wants her back.

 

Lastly, don't get so hung up on her. Your constant begging is only pushing her away further. Not to mention, I notice that you've basically became her door mat. Why? Because even after she broke up with you, you're still on your hands and feet trying to meet her needs. You're not entitled to do whatever she asks, its not required of you. You need to seriously chill and take some time to contemplate over your actions right now. You need to distance yourself from this girl and think about yourself for once. You're hurt and you need to heal.

[frankie123]

but shouldnt she atleast give me a chance, make an attempt to let me re connect with her like the connection we once had with each other. She says its just not there anymore for us, that we lost that spark but dont u think she should give me a chance to re build that spark up to attempt to get that chemistry back?

[frankie123]

give me a chance to show her new things instead of the old stuff...shes askin all her friends for advice about guy problems shes having now because she said they have all been jerks to her but.....she wouldnt have guy problems if she would give me just one more chance, im a good guy..she wouldnt have guy problems if she was with me. If she would just give me a chance to re build that connection and then let that go for a little bit and if it doesnt work out then, then we can just be completely done but she should atleast give me an oppurtunity to re connect with her again dont ya think?

[tonyeltiger]

I can sympathize witht he way you feel. I too feel that if I were given another chance, our relationship would be sooooo much better than it was. However, all of this is irrelevent. She made the decision that she doesn't want to be with you. Nothing, I repeat, nothing you do or say will make her want to come back to you. If she ever does want to get back with you, it will be of her own volition. What you need to do with yourself right now is ask yourself, and I mean REALLY ask yourself if SHE deserves a second chance. I know when I was first dumped I would do anything to get her back. And indeed I am still somewhat in the mind-set although I don't even want to be that way. She tossed you aside as a non-essential part of her life and went to look for greener pastures. I understand how you can still love someone even after they do things like this to you, but ask yourself something. (this is what I've been asking a lot lately to myself). Perhaps you love the person she used to be. The person that said she loved you and always would be there with you. The person that was there when you needed someone to hold. Someone who knew all of your secrets, and you knew all of theirs. But ask yourself if you love the person she is RIGHT NOW. People change, and she obviously has. She no longer wants to be with you. So why should you waste on more minute of your life crying or tearing yourself up over someone who no longer cares one way or the other about whether you are even in their life? I know this is hard, and believe me, if you can't read it in my message, I feel like crying just thinking about these same questions. The point is, we all love our relationships as they were during the best of times, and especially when we get dumped, we tend to forget all of the things about the person that we did not like. Try to be as objective as you can be about it. Mourn the loss of a great friend, but also remember that you are completely entitled to be incredibly ANGRY about her and who she tossed you away like an annoying insect that just got in the way of her life. Rough words, probably not the truth, but really I feel we deserve to be angry much more than to feel like garbage. *sigh* It's hard, we'll be here for you on this end. After you realize she's no longer worth your time to even think about, you will be amazed as to how many beautiful, intelligent, and interesting women will be eye-balling you. Don't let mourning the past girlfriend (who no longer even EXISTS [the truth!]) get in the way of your present and future. Good luck to you. Hell, who am I kidding, good luck to me lol

[sedgwick]

I know this probably isn't what you want to hear right now, but girls DO grow out of this! Do not let this keep you from being a nice guy. You don't want a girl who needs you to be "bad" to keep her. You want someone who loves you for who you are.

 

I'm 36 and would give anything to find a nice guy. I'm so sick of the bad boys. The smart girls get tired of it.

[frankie123]

she says im not as bad boy as i used to be n that im sensitive and too appologetic. I mean....cant a guy still be a bad boy in other aspects but still have emotions and feelings for the girl he loves? I just don't get it when she says that. Im a bad boy in the sense that i will knock anyones block off that gets close to her n means harm to her or trying to get with her and all that. Is it true that girls want what they cant have and that ive came off as being clingy n depressed n thats a turn off to her? Why does my girl think its a turn off for me being depressed? It just shows that i actually do care about her and love her. Im being a man....as a man im admitting to her that i want her back and would do anything for her. Im admitting that as a man and she doesnt see that. Doesn't losing a spark and chemistry happen a lot in relationships and dont they get a chance to re connect with that person? I just want to take her out on a date n try to re connect with her, not for her to fall back in love with me but just basically start out slow again.....

[bostonstraightedge]

Basically the same thing happened to me. I did the begging thing for a while and it actually worked to a point. We ended up hanging out, she slept over again eventually, we had sex. It was like we were dating all over again. But then she'd throw little fits about how I couldn't treat her like she was my gf anymore and maybe it's not such a good idea to keep doing this stuff. But then a few hours later, she'd be calling me asking to hang out. She didn't feel bad from my begging for her. She was just fulfilling her own needs. She didn't care about me at all. She was just lonely and would have hung out with anyone, just no one else was available. In the end it turns out she was cheating on me, but that's a different ballgame. Seriously, don't talk to her. If she misses you, she'll come back. If not, sorry brother. You will find someone else eventually. It sucks to think about it right now because you think she's perfect and there's so much potential. Just give it time.

[frankie123]

i appreciate that last reply.

 

umm...im up the same boat as u kinda. She's wanted to hangout, only a couple times no. We've been broken up now for 2 weeks i guess u could say and last sunday we wasnt together but she hungout with me and we had sex and like during us having sex she kept saying ur gonna get hurt, ur lettin ur emotions get in the way, ur gonna get hurt n she repeatedly said that because all it was to her was just a ****. She was like if i walk out n dont come back after this then its just gonna hurt u more, b4 we even had sex she was like dont think this is gonna win me back. So yea we proceeded to have sex n we were done it was like still..nothin doin, we still arent back together haha. She has been texting me tho saying shes lonely, not necessarily that she misses the affection all the times i gave her n how good i was but she was like im just lonely n want affection but she kept telling that to me so im thinking...deep down inside, maybe she does miss it! Idk..the desperate thing hasnt worked for her, she analyzes everything and she keeps saying dont be so desperate, ur just making me frustrated and pushing me farther away. Back to the lonely thing...she told me like yesterday that she was lonely (like..sexually...again) but she was like its a bad idea if i come over there just because ur gonna get lead on n we will end up taking advantage of each other, just basically being a ****. So she held back n didnt hangout with me this time but i think we wouldve hooked up. Do u think deep down inside by her telling me shes lonely...u think shes directing it towards me since shes saying it to me or she just saying it for her health? lol...

[dfreeman]

i appreciate that last reply.

 

umm...im up the same boat as u kinda. She's wanted to hangout, only a couple times no. We've been broken up now for 2 weeks i guess u could say and last sunday we wasnt together but she hungout with me and we had sex and like during us having sex she kept saying ur gonna get hurt, ur lettin ur emotions get in the way, ur gonna get hurt n she repeatedly said that because all it was to her was just a ****. She was like if i walk out n dont come back after this then its just gonna hurt u more, b4 we even had sex she was like dont think this is gonna win me back. So yea we proceeded to have sex n we were done it was like still..nothin doin, we still arent back together haha. She has been texting me tho saying shes lonely, not necessarily that she misses the affection all the times i gave her n how good i was but she was like im just lonely n want affection but she kept telling that to me so im thinking...deep down inside, maybe she does miss it! Idk..the desperate thing hasnt worked for her, she analyzes everything and she keeps saying dont be so desperate, ur just making me frustrated and pushing me farther away. Back to the lonely thing...she told me like yesterday that she was lonely (like..sexually...again) but she was like its a bad idea if i come over there just because ur gonna get lead on n we will end up taking advantage of each other, just basically being a ****. So she held back n didnt hangout with me this time but i think we wouldve hooked up. Do u think deep down inside by her telling me shes lonely...u think shes directing it towards me since shes saying it to me or she just saying it for her health? lol...

 

Dude, I have a solution that is 100% guaranteed to work here...

 

She wants her bad boy back AND she's giving up the breakup sex?

 

The next time she wants sex, smack her ass around the bed for an hour and then tell her to get the f#(k out of your house and get her own goddamn starbucks in the morning!

 

You still get the booty, you stop looking pathetic and she gets her bad boy - ALL GOOD!

[frankie123]

sounds like a damn good idea, lol. Only thing is...she thinks its a bad idea for her to be over here cuz she doesnt know now if she wants to put herself in that situation to where we hookup n have sex. She keeps telling me shes lonely but now shes just thinking its a bad idea. If something happens it just happens, thats all i have to say to that. If ur lonely...confide ur loneliness in me, **** im lonely too haha. I gotta get some booty just like she wants the cock, haha but yea if she gets that urge to where she just cant take it anymore n comes over here to have sex with me then i will say all that. Haha, thanks.

[frankie123]

hey everyone, so tonight........

 

a close friend of mine is leaving tomorrow for the army so me n a bunch of friends and his parents all had dinner tonight. Well my ex who is the main headline for this whole thread is also friends with my friend thats leaving tomorrow for the army. So we have dinner tonight n she was invited to dinner because we are all tied together like friendship wise, we are all friends but she was my girlfriend. So shes there and im sittin right beside her and one of my other friends is sittin on the other side of her (my ex). The whole dinner was just sooo awkward and even more depressing because my ex barely said anything to me tonight. Like....i had to innitiate the conversation for everything. If i wouldnt have innitiated any kind of convo with her tonight she wouldnt have said one word to me but the whole time shes sittin by me shes got her head turned and talkin to one of my other close friends the whole time we were at dinner and barely said anything to me. If i was to ask her something or ask her how she was or anything, she'd give me a real short answer n that would be the end of that convo. Is it always awkward for girls when you break up with someone? Is it always awkward talking to them after the break up. It seemed like she didnt even acknowledge me which made me feel ver awkward and depressed. So do u think the reason she didnt talk to me hardly tonight at dinner was just because things are a lil awkward for her right now or what? Do girls always get awkward after they break up with someone? Can u give me some advice on this topic...like what do i do to get her to actually have a decent convo and have fun talking to me at this point? Gah i want her back..shes just acting like if i give her her space then shes just gonna forget me, im worried shes going to. I want her back soo bad. Someone help me out please!

[chenazah]

Have some respect for yourself and move on.....if your a nice fella then shes the one missing out. Why beg for another chance? (you havent done nothing wrong).

Show her that you can move on, dont call her, dont be there for her, why should you! Dont feel bad about it either, it will be her problem and not yours.

Find someone that cares about YOU and wants to be with YOU....its your life, dont waste it on someone thats not committed.

She will soon realize that she had it good BUT by that time someone else will have it and that will be her get-up and not yours.

Good luck

[frankie123]

hey ya'll so we've kinda been on n off no contact but mainly it has been her contacting me. She acts like we wont be together or anything but she will call or text or message me on aim checkin up on me n blah blah blah and she'll tell me how all these guys are being jerks to her n she called me talkin bout this guy that was being a perv around her, slapping her ass n all this nonsense, shes like im sure u dont want to hear this but then she was sayin all that bout that perv guy slapping her ass n **** n she got real pissed off at that n she was talkin about it being disrespectful n all that n then she goes home n posts a blog on her myspace saying how she hates boys that are pervs liars n all this hooblah. She also mentioned in that blog that she wants a southern gentleman, goal oriented, treats her right with respect and all that and i think to myself...hey that was me. I'm the only nice guy in her life right now but she doesnt seem to have any interest in getting back to me but she remains contact with me n tells me all about these jerks guys n all that bs. What does that mean? That deep down maybe she does realize that im actually that nice guy for her still and shes just hiding it from me, keeping it from me or what?

[M2k]

..kinda feel for you, im being strung along at the moment by my ex .. difference is im older than you and quite frankly she has made it clear it can work between us.. shes just got **** to deal with.. only point im going to make is .. your 19.. dont take this the wrong way but im not even sure your old enough to know what love is.. your girl is also very young.. yes it hurts and you feel you want her .. but when i was younger every girl i was with i thought i loved.. truth is i didnt.. go out meet new people and have fun mush!