sweetbutcheeky Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Quantity hasn't been a problem but they are all the wrong guys, too old, only want sex and so on. I can never find quality, or should say they never find me. I'm not one to approach a guy, at a club grocery store or internet. The ones that approach me or email me are never the right guys, even when I post an ad/create a profile saying what I am looking for. I have been single for too long and miss being with someone but what have no idea where to find (or be around - to find me) quality.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 The good guys will never pursue a girl, either they're taken, or they're too shy, or too selfconscious to do it. YOU got to be the more assertive one here. Take the first step. Normally guys who does do the pursuing are players, anybody looking for a quickie "wham, bam, thank you, ma'am". Yes it does become flattering when you can get their attention and their #, but a good quality guy would not be so direct. They hide in bookshops, coffeeshops, libraries, you name it, anyplace where they can actually escape from society... I know it's weird at first, but girl if you have it and can fluant, I don't see why you can't ask a guy you like for his #.
carhill Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Hey, you see a guy shopping from a list at a grocery store with no wedding ring on, you figure out something to ask him about a food item. I was that guy for 20 years Clipped coupons too. Nest builder material. That's quality I still talk to women at grocery stores (even though I'm married now) when I do the shopping. Love to shop, love to cook, love to eat If you like to travel, that's a great way to meet guys too. I meet lots of women in airports and on airplanes. I travel for fun, not work. I'm surprised how friendly most women are to a strange man....maybe the wedding ring helps
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 Thing is I have been there, one to make the first move. But when that happens and we date i end up also being the one to make date plans, most calling. I want a guy who will take control, make plans, call me. Be the man!
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 (edited) Hey, you see a guy shopping from a list at a grocery store with no wedding ring on, you figure out something to ask him about a food item. I was that guy for 20 years Clipped coupons too. Nest builder material. That's quality I could try, I just don't want to be the one doing the work. If someone is interested I want them to let me know and do something about it. Edited March 7, 2008 by sweetbutcheeky
AussieJack Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 (edited) Thing is I have been there, one to make the first move. But when that happens and we date i end up also being the one to make date plans, most calling. I want a guy who will take control, make plans, call me. Be the man! Do you live near an airport ? I can be there in 30 hours ! Can you come and collect me at the baggage carousel ? I am thinking a nice dinner first --- Edited March 7, 2008 by AussieJack
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 Do you live near an airport ? I can be there in 30 hours ! Can you come and pick me up at the baggage carousel ? Yes LOL I'll be waiting!
AussieJack Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Yes LOL I'll be waiting! OK , I will be the tall guy with a suntan and a crocodile under one arm. You like Bar B Q ? I marinate a great kangaroo steak .
Max Overclock Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I could try, I just don't want to be the one doing the work. If someone is interested I want them to let me know and do something about it. Hmmm ... why? Are you implying that you don't feel confident that you can "get the job done?" Curious... Max
angelj Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I understand where you are coming from...we want a guy to take charge and show us his confidence...without having a huge ego or being a cocky sob or a player. Tell me where you find yours and sign me up!
Angels&Airwaves Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Why can’t the union of two people happen naturally without either segment doing more pursuing than the other? As for meeting quality, it does seem there’s a lot of fodder amongst the quality, you’ll just have to root through and weed the man you desire out that way. I have the same problem when looking for girls (it’s seldom that I look for girls), sometimes it seems better being single.
NuTuDating Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Most of us "shy" guys don't need you to do all the work - just give us enough signal to let us know you're interested and many of us will pick up on that and take it from there. I'd never ask a girl out in the grocery store just out of the blue. If a woman said something to me, giving me an opening, different story. Just put in that initial investment of saying someone you see out in public. You won't have to KEEP pursuing us after that, for the most part.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 OK , I will be the tall guy with a suntan and a crocodile under one arm. You like Bar B Q ? I marinate a great kangaroo steak . Yes though the BBQ is under a pile of snow!
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 Hmmm ... why? Are you implying that you don't feel confident that you can "get the job done?" Curious... Max No has nothing to do with it (not exactly sure what that exactly means), when it's one sided and one person has to do all the work it's not right and isn't going to work. Has to be equal effort from both sides. I understand where you are coming from...we want a guy to take charge and show us his confidence...without having a huge ego or being a cocky sob or a player. Tell me where you find yours and sign me up! Exactly!!! Now where are they is the question? Why can’t the union of two people happen naturally without either segment doing more pursuing than the other? One person has to make the first move or else no one is ever going to speak to each other! LOL
NuTuDating Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I'm dead serious, there are lots of us out there who just need a little more than a friendly smile before we will approach a woman. It doesn't mean that we won't take the lead after that. Promise. We're out there, we just don't chase women like other guys do. Give it a try.
carhill Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I could try, I just don't want to be the one doing the work. If someone is interested I want them to let me know and do something about it. Innocent conversation about a food item or recipe isn't work, it's an ice-breaker. I do it all the time even though I'm married. It's how I force myself to overcome my shyness. Nothing has to come from it other than a minute or two of human interaction. The world continues to rotate
Kasan Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Innocent conversation about a food item or recipe isn't work, it's an ice-breaker. I do it all the time even though I'm married. It's how I force myself to overcome my shyness. Nothing has to come from it other than a minute or two of human interaction. The world continues to rotate Carhill is right, men do this to me all the time.
NuTuDating Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Not all men of quality go to church, but they do have to eat! Cheaters and liars go to church, too. I know, I was married to one who went every Sunday.
disco Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 yeah so why is that guys always have to approach the girl, why can't girls approach the guy. I like aggressive girls.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 yeah so why is that guys always have to approach the girl, why can't girls approach the guy. I like aggressive girls. There's plenty of aggressive girls out there, but we just hate for you to think that we're coming on too strong. I heard that's a turnoff...
NuTuDating Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I don't think it's coming on too strong if a woman initiates a conversation.
carhill Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 yeah so why is that guys always have to approach the girl, why can't girls approach the guy. I like aggressive girls. Oh, I've had them; they're like a Hoover with 20 switchblades on the beater bar... :D
Replicant Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Quantity hasn't been a problem but they are all the wrong guys, too old, only want sex and so on. I can never find quality, or should say they never find me. I'm not one to approach a guy, at a club grocery store or internet. The ones that approach me or email me are never the right guys, even when I post an ad/create a profile saying what I am looking for. I have been single for too long and miss being with someone but what have no idea where to find (or be around - to find me) quality. Honestly I think it is that quality will present itself to you when you least expect it, i think you are stressing way too hard in playing the numbers game going through the quantities say at Toronto night clubs or online dating personals it is going to land you about as much quality as in finding fresh fish in Lake Ontario...Not worth it, it's just trash/problems there. Continuing down that road will just bring you more of the same. (I think you must know that) Instead more social places either joining an activity/class etc, or places where ALL people end up. So it looks like many here are suggesting the grocery store thing, actually maybe you should try that. But of course not to the point store security starts to question your long shopping sessions with little or nothing to buy Anyways, it's not uncommon to have women approach me there and ask to have help lifting something too heavy, or the 'top shelf theory' of getting something too high for them on the shelf. There you have it conversation starts. Of course that is easy interaction, you could go more on the offensive and play oblivious by nudging someones cart, or them (accidentally). Or line up some cans on the baby seat and deploy one (accidentally of course!) when there is an interest and see if the dude picks it up and returns it. Otherwise keep walking, they'd probably ruin your life anyways What i'm saying is there is many means to start yourself or forcing good conversation techniques and go from there.
carhill Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Oh, forgot, with all the empowered single women out there doing their own home improvements, I could just show up at Home Depot or Lowes in my coveralls and wander around answering questions (I do all our construction trades but am not licensed to contract). People come up to me all the time (mainly women) and ask questions when I'm shopping at home improvement centers, even in street clothes, because I look like I work there or am a contractor. Again, innocent ice-breakers. World rotates. Hopefully I don't melt the credit card too much
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