Andy11 Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Well, went out with this girl last weekend. We had a nice time. I found her attractive. I started texting her more than i should and called her more than i should. Long story short, we went out on a second date. It wasnt as smooth as the first. We both could tell. It was somewhat awkward. I asked her out again ...this time she told me that she didnt think we were a match. That i was a great guy but we just didnt click. I had pretty high hopes for us. And now i feel so dejected. I tend to get attached really quick and i did with this girl. Perhaps its because of my low self esteem. I dont know. But i do know, that i feel like a loser right about now. After 2 dates , i was attached to her. Cant believe it. Now as i type this....i keep asking what i did wrong? Why me? When is someone gonna want to be with me? My ego is shot, my confidence is shot and feel pretty depressed. Other than that, im ok. Yay! Any advice or input is appreciated. Will i ever meet anyone who wants to be with me?
SoHotZanzibar Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Rejection sucks, but don't feel like a loser. Let the emotions run their course, but please, keep them in perspective. You have to date quite a few people to find the right ones. She really did you a favor. She didn't use you for anything and was very honest and nice about it. You might want to keep contact because she might have hot friends. Dead serious. Thats why you should play it cool too. If you act cool, her friends will notice. Trust me.
superm0nkey Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Hey, sounds like you need to work on your self esteem my man. That and date many, many more women Think of it as an experiment in self discovery rather than finding someone to settle down with.
Joebo Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Hey Andy, You may need to work on your self esteem a little but here's the thing. You went on two dates with her. She thinks you are a nice bloke but you're maybe not suited. That's no big deal. Don't sweat it. I'm sure there will be more dates.. And look at it from another perspective...You are managing to date girls that you find attractive. That's gotta be a bonus! Chin up and keep putting yourself out there. Great advice from a guy that thinks his life is over at 32 after being dumped! Although, I know that my confidence is low given my circumstances, however, I also know that It'll be back. Some time... Good luck. Take it easy, JB.
Author Andy11 Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 Thanks for the responses folks. I am not the most aggressive type when it comes to going after women, so when i do get the chance and it doesnt work, depression really sets in. I know there are more out there for me.....but its still hard to focus straight when you have been shot down.
sedgwick Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 Of course you will, but you gotta relax. If you only went on a first date last weekend, one call or text would have been appropriate by now, but it sounds like you went a bit overboard and pushed her away. You say you had "high hopes" for the two of you, but you don't even really know her. You have to have more respect for your own heart than to give it away so easily and prematurely to someone who may not deserve it!
Far Behind Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 I am just now recovering from a guy that came on like gangbusters, and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Take it from me, if that's what happened in your case, learn from it. I know that if I meet someone again that comes on to me as fast as the guy I'm recovering from did, I will be running for the hills!
carhill Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 Thanks for the responses folks. I am not the most aggressive type when it comes to going after women, so when i do get the chance and it doesnt work, depression really sets in. I know there are more out there for me.....but its still hard to focus straight when you have been shot down. OP, try this the next time a woman is this honest with you.... Give her a hug, look her in the eyes and tell her you really appreciate her honesty and that you think she'll make some lucky guy real happy. Smile and leave. This is called seeing the positive and showing empathy and appreciation for the straightforward way she treated you. Believe it or not, after awhile it will make you feel good, most specifically that you aren't wasting your valuable time and emotion on someone who isn't for you. I battled this same issue for many years and found I couldn't change women, only how I reacted to them. Better luck next time!
Author Andy11 Posted March 8, 2008 Author Posted March 8, 2008 In some way...i really think God was looking out for me. During our 1st date, i remember her saying she was going away this summer for about 3 months to her country. She had been here in the US for most of her life , but she was contiplating moving back to her country permanently. I wouldnt be able to handle that. Maybe i was saved bigtime heartache in the future. Maybe a blessing in disguise.
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