Mustang1984 Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Hi everybody, I have been trying online dating for about 1 1/2 years and hae had pretty horrible luck with it and was curious if this is the norm or if maybe I am doing something wrong. I am a good looking guy and got a 9.7 when I posted a pic online. I know that sounds pretty lame and vain, but I was curious due to my bad luck online and offline. I was happy to see some girls think I am cute, but I dont get why none respond to my messages. On my online profiles I try to do a good job by explaining who I am, but maybe I am doing something way wrong. I am a 5'8" tall 23 year old air traffic controller who has a bachelors degree. I try to explain that I am easy going and get along well with everyone. I talk about my likes such as music, food,etc... Then I usually list what I look for in a girl which isnt that picky at all. I am looking for a cute, sweet, and easy going girl. I tried eharmoney and have gotten a few first dates and then ditched or turned down for seconds. I met one girl on there and had a month long relationship, but thats the longest. On match.com I have gotten 1 first date out of 107 messages sent. I would appreciate any advice as to what I might be doing wrong if anything. Thanks everybody.
Art_Critic Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 When I did online dating I would always try and make my email stand out from the herd.. On match a good looking woman will get 20-30 emails a day and more in some cases so they don't have time to read them all before they get hit with another 20-30.. You HAVE to stand out.. Your profile has to stand out also.. it has to be different than your competition.. I created a fake girl profile and went trolling thru all the guy profiles just to see what guys my age are offering up on their profile.. Guys are just not funny online.. I have always used humor to stand out in my profile and also in my contact emails.. I would pick one thing out of their profile to crack a joke with and get the ball rolling.. I met my wife on match.. So it does work.. I had been doing online dating for years also before it finally stuck.. I had many dates and a few 6 month or longer relationships till I learned hwat I didn't want out of the online crowd. I never really talked about many hobbies or music on my profile but did mention some cool interests that I have that I thought might snag a fish or two.. Good Luck
Art_Critic Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Try and keep the sexual innuendos out of your profile.. If they label you a player they will never respond to your emails.. even if you are funny... Make your profile sound like you are a fun guy to go spend 3 hours with.. If they think your are just so so they won't give you the time of day.. Wow them.. yo have to figure that they have all those guys hitting on them and they want to spend their 3 hours having fun.. Who wants to waste their time with a guy who is a dud or doesn't make good conversation.. Also.. never lie in your profile.. never... Make sure all your pictures are current and mention in your profile how recent they actually are... Make sure you call them when you say you will and make sure you come across as dependable. Again..Good luck
HouseOfCards Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 What are some of the better online dating sites out there? I'm preferably looking for a free one. I'm already on PlentyOfFish, and a surprisingly amount of girls made first contact with me in that first month, but it has slowed down a bit since. Any other good, popular ones out there?
midamericanman Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I wouldn't sweat any problems with online dating too much Mustang. I knew a twentysomething girl who posted a profile and was inundated with messages. It's just a sellers market online for women so men are cheap. Add to that the fact that some men misrepresent themselves and you have a less than ideal situation. Still you can really zero in on what you want online. You may have better luck on a social network like MySpace, especially at your age, assuming you take a few hours to put together an attractive and detailed profile about yourself and your interests. I met a couple of decent ladies there and I'm a good decade older than you. Happy hunting.
sb129 Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Art Critics advice is bang on the money. Humour always stands out. I met my fiance on an online dating site, and the thing that struck me about him was the fact that in his picture he was holding a tarantula (!!), and his answers seemed warm and funny, and not too serious. PS He is no longer with the tarantula. Lol.
D-Lish Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I think POF is one of the better ones. I am on there. I have to tell you that I spend more time deleting messages than I do responding. I might respond to 10% (maybe less) of the messages I get. Here are some of the things that turn me off: 1) If a guy is shirtless and flexing 2) If a guy has pics posted with a bunch of different girls - some guys post pics of themselves with strippers or Hooter's girls or the like. (Huge turn off) 3) If a guy says very little in his description... it's like he isn't taking the time to sell himself. 4) If a guy comes off as arrogant 5) If he mentions anything sexual. 6) If his expectations regarding what he is looking for seem too many or unrealistic. 7) If his pictures are too far away, too blurry, or he only has one. 8) no picture Okay- the first thing I look at is the picture(s)... if I like those I will read the profile. I think many people look at pics first and go from there. For me, I have certain traits I seek: non-smoker, no kids, has to be taller than me, live within a reasonable distance from me. But it's a crap shoot- I have had more disappointments than success on these sites. But being funny and sounding interesting are a bonus after one goes past the picture. My biggest beef with POF is the amount of guys that send me an insult when I don't return thier message. That drives me crazy. Most importantly- don't take any rejection personally. You just can't do that because everyone has different tastes.
HouseOfCards Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Yeah, I feel bad for some girls on there. Once that I've started talking to that I met from there says that she's basically had guys 30 years older than her messaging her, telling her things they "want to do" to her. I'm sure these are guys that'll stare at you for a few seconds in a bar, then that's it. The power of the internet. Personally, I tried not to make my profile too big. I have like three short paragraphs about who I am, what I'm into, and the kind of girl I'd like. I wouldn't want to overload it with information about me because, well, then what is there to talk about?
StandByMe Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 What are some of the better online dating sites out there? I'm preferably looking for a free one. I'm already on PlentyOfFish, and a surprisingly amount of girls made first contact with me in that first month, but it has slowed down a bit since. Any other good, popular ones out there? Webdate is another free one.
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