How do you let go of the hurt?

[unluckyinlove2]

My husband and I have only been together a little over a year, during this time he spent several weeks living with his ex. We are back together now and he says he loves me and was stupid for leaving, blah blah blah. How can I let go of the hurt and learn to trust him again. Oh and btw, his ex just lives a mile from us.

[Thom]

Sounds like you need to have your husband set boundaries with the x of his. That is if you can't get rid of her all together. She is toxic to your relationship. This X needs to respect your marriage and your husband needs to be the one to make that clear to her. If he can do that for you it will make it easier to trust him and your pain will eventually disappear.

 

Either that or mover farther away from her...

[unluckyinlove2]

believe me I would like nothing more than to be rid of her for good, but they have a small child together. She was talking about moving to another town this summer. OH how do I wish she would.

[Starlight]

I can understand the hurt you must feel and I agree with Thom that your husband needs to respect the boundaries. His ex should also realise that out of respect for you. 'Letting go of the hurt and learning to trust him again' I think only comes with open and honest communication on both sides in ways, with firm grounding so that if either of you feels out of your depth in the conversation you can ask for 'time out'. In order for you to learn to trust him again he has to realise that it will take time and he needs to show understanding and patience for you to reach that place. He also needs to fully understand the impact of his actions on your feelings.

[unluckyinlove2]

:eek:How can I get him to understand this. He is wanting to buy a house together, but I dont want to. If he cant be faithful to me for a year, how can I trust him to stay with me for 30.......