BChris66 Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Hello all, anyone got an insight into what is in this girls mind? Been going out with a girl I work with for about a month now, mostly to work social club evenings and, last weekend her friends birthday party. She seems quite interested in that she texts me at least 5 times a day, comes to visit me at work at least 2 or 3 times a day, takes her breaks at the same time as me, and has said that she is fine with me going on another trip with a different girl I work with, although with a 'No Nookie' rule applied to the trip and has asked me to go on a weeks holiday with her in Amsterdam (when I asked her about sleeping arrangements, she seemed distraught that I didn't assume we would share a room (didn't want to seem like I was pushing to get into her bed), and was delighted when I agreed that we can share a room / bed) She also seems to have no problem with me putting my arm around her when in the pub, and seeks out seats close to me when we are out. 'All well and good', you say, but everytime our co-workers ask if we are an item the answer from her is always either, 'No', or 'We'll see'. And every time I invite her somewhere outside of the work social settings ie. a walk in the park or a coffee on a Sunday I get told, either 'I'm busy / tired' or 'Maybe, let me think about it' and nothing more comes of it. So, is she into me or isn't she? She seems interested from the texts, coming to see me etc, but doesn't seem to want to be an item, and when asked will only reply 'Maybe' or 'We'll see'
Geishawhelk Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 On the face of it, she has control issues... She wants to pull the strings and take the reins. You will please do things on her terms, as you are her Boyfriend.... but make no assumptions about her. Not without her say so. She wishes to initiate and run things. From her way, it looks. 'Course, I could be wong. but I don't think so. Quite immature emotionally... On the face of it.
Author BChris66 Posted March 6, 2008 Author Posted March 6, 2008 Not sure, she has went out of her way to help me during the working day a few times, and did invite me on the Amsterdam trip, but you may well be right, I'll watch her behavior a bit more closely.
AussieJack Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 On the face of it, she has control issues... She wants to pull the strings and take the reins. You will please do things on her terms, as you are her Boyfriend.... but make no assumptions about her. Not without her say so. She wishes to initiate and run things. From her way, it looks. 'Course, I could be wong. but I don't think so. Quite immature emotionally... On the face of it. Bingo ! She is trying to control this "relationship" by setting things up so that you are kept guessing. THis IS immature behavior but very popular with women of all ages. My advice to you is to flip the frame on her. Take control by kicking out the pedestal that you have put her on. Quit being her lapdog and make her EARN your attention instead of abusing it. Date other women- you owe her nothing yet because she has not qualified to be your girlfriend.
Geishawhelk Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Bingo ! She is trying to control this "relationship" by setting things up so that you are kept guessing. THis IS immature behavior but very popular with women of all ages. I couldn't agree more. But it's not exclusive... it's very popular with men of all ages too. It's the games people play. it's just what it is, in some cases... My advice to you is to flip the frame on her. Take control by kicking out the pedestal that you have put her on. Quit being her lapdog and make her EARN your attention instead of abusing it. Date other women- you owe her nothing yet because she has not qualified to be your girlfriend. Er.... Yup. I'd agree with this.... you can bend over so far backwards trying to please someone because you like the idea of being in love that.... guess where you end up stickin' your head....? So dark and warm, you can't see s**t.... surprisingly.....
DanielMadr Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 When you ask "WTF" question yourself then it is time to eject. WTF girls make WTF life.
Author BChris66 Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 Met up with her at work again today, she went out of her way to see me again too. Sent me a text when she got home saying she's looking forward to the staff meal at the weekend, but wouldn't give an answer on whether we're going to meet up before the meal or where we'll go after. To make things worse / better, the other girl I'm going on holiday with started asking me who i would choose if I had the choice, her or 'Ms Maybe'. (I told her I liked her a few months ago, before I met Ms Maybe, but she turned me down, saying nothing will happen between us, as she was in love with someone else) Do you think I could send this into one of the TV soaps and get a comission on a storyline?
AussieJack Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Sent me a text when she got home saying she's looking forward to the staff meal at the weekend, but wouldn't give an answer on whether we're going to meet up before the meal or where we'll go after. AussieJack's Rule #4- Never make someone a priority who is only making you an option.
Author BChris66 Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 So what about the other girl, the one who told me a few months ago that she loved someone else, but now seems interested. Or is she only a case of wanting what's out of reach? Both these girls are going to the meal on Saturdaytoo, maybe i could go with both of them and have to keep nipping to the bathroom, ala: Some S****y sitcom?
dreamergrl Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I think the second girl is looking for a chase. Now that you've started spending time with ms maybe, she's more interested. I would be less available to both of these ladies if I were you. Take back some of the control. Or move on, and find a girl who doesn't play head games.
AussieJack Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 So what about the other girl, the one who told me a few months ago that she loved someone else, but now seems interested. Geez, where do you find these ditzoids? The OTHER girl is interested because the guy who she "loved" dumped her,she did a 180 and now she is heading your way -you are backup guy ,the fall back guy, the booby prize. . Put your energy into gaming a NEW woman and dump the trash.
Author BChris66 Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 find a girl who doesn't play head games. Don't all women play head games?
dreamergrl Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Don't all women play head games? LOL no If I'm dating someone, I'm upfront - I don't do any of that chase me crap.
Author BChris66 Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 I think I'll just take this a day at a time and see where it goes, not going to go crazy and commit myself to these ones though.
Geishawhelk Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 There's a lot to be said for being celibate! I say this largely in jest, but I knew a 19-year old guy who made a serious, non-religious, non-spiritual decision to just not go for relationships and sex for a while. He decided that until he'd got his own mind in order (not that there was anything 'wrong' with him!) he didn't want it messed up with too much distracting emotional stuff. He had studying to do, so he wanted to focus his attention on what mattered to him. He went without a girlfriend for over a year. He was really quite happy too....!
NuTuDating Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Get rid of her quickly. If she's that manupulative and won't see you outside of work, she's not acting right.
Author BChris66 Posted March 9, 2008 Author Posted March 9, 2008 (edited) Ohhkay, that was weird, went to the staff meal with 'Mrs. WTF', she was chatty, lively, playing footsie under the table etc, went on to the pub after the meal, had a few beers before she whispered in my ear that she was bored and wanted to go back to my place (this was around 10pm), 'Game on!' I thought and scarpered from the group we were with, got back home, and she started saying she was tired / sleepy / had a headache etc, I tried putting the moves on her as we watched tv but was pushed away, watched a bit more tv before she announced that she wanted to go home, I called her a taxi and away she went. I asked her about meeting up again tomorrow, but was told that she would be sleeping all day and not going anywhere, and when I asked her about next weekend I didn't even get an answer, just a shrug. i do notice that it's me doing all the pushing here, she seems to be quite reserved (ie it's me that has an arm around her, she never does the same back), me that has to snuggle up to her infront of the tv, me that has to slip a hand here or there etc. Ideas? Edited March 9, 2008 by BChris66
BlueEyedGirl Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 Maybe she is trying to make some other guy at work jelous?
Author BChris66 Posted March 9, 2008 Author Posted March 9, 2008 I don't think so, she hasn't a history with anyone else at work, and never seems to show an interest in anyone else.
AussieJack Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I asked her about meeting up again tomorrow, but was told that she would be sleeping all day and not going anywhere, and when I asked her about next weekend I didn't even get an answer, just a shrug. THis young woman is playing with you . Why? Because you tolerate it. She is an AW and a mindf*cker who is acting like an adolescent princess/ Kick the pedestal out from under her by IGNORING her for a week or two.. Date other women. SHe knows that you are infatuated and she is toying with you. An all round bad news female.
Author BChris66 Posted March 9, 2008 Author Posted March 9, 2008 Yeah, was tempted to ask another girl i met tonight to go for a coffee tomorrow, might just do that.
gfto Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 So, is she into me or isn't she? She isn't. All this texting, hanging out at work, and work social club (whatever that is) doesn't count. The only thing that matters is that when you ask her on a real date, she starts to hem and haw and won't give you a straight answer. If I were you, I wouldn't pay anymore attention to this girl; not even at work.
AussieJack Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 She isn't. All this texting, hanging out at work, and work social club (whatever that is) doesn't count. The only thing that matters is that when you ask her on a real date, she starts to hem and haw and won't give you a straight answer. If I were you, I wouldn't pay anymore attention to this girl; not even at work. I agree, NEXT her. She is not interested or not sane.
Prodigal Princess Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 This girl is not at all interested in you. I know because I was her a few years ago - loved the attention from flirting with guys at work but was never at all interested in seeing them in "real life". I grew bored with the games and eventually stopped, but not before breaking a few hearts. Don't be one of those guys. To this day their gullibility and desperation disgusts me.
AussieJack Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 This girl is not at all interested in you. I know because I was her a few years ago - loved the attention from flirting with guys at work but was never at all interested in seeing them in "real life". I grew bored with the games and eventually stopped, but not before breaking a few hearts. Don't be one of those guys. To this day their gullibility and desperation disgusts me. Hey Prodigal Princess from Australia. So you are the chick that my buddy's talk about in the pub. Little miss Preek Tease. Here is a message to all of you in NTh America who thought that Aussie girls were stand up women- " WE got THAT kind down here too".
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