PositiveFuture Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 We haven't txt or email in 14 days and i ran into her, she was at a cafe with a workmate. I just said "hello" she said "Hi" back with a smile. I then carried on with my business. Then when i was walking back, i went the other way so i didn't have to walk straight passed her, but i could see her looking over my way. Didn't think i would run into her at that time, as i new it was way after her lunch break had finished. Damn its hard...lol
Geishawhelk Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Yeh, but you did the right thing.... So... Keep going. The first time is always the most difficult. If it happens again, you know you can do it again. (I thought, when I saw "Ran into my ex today..." that you'd hit her with a 20-ton truck.... so you see, there's always a bright side..... )
Author PositiveFuture Posted March 16, 2008 Author Posted March 16, 2008 Ex broke contact. She emailed me at work on the 12 march, 5 days after i ran into her. One of her friends had been on my bebo and she wanted me to take off "losing unborn child" off my bebo page. This had no mention of her, this is what it says: My saddiest times "Watching family fight cancer and losing a unborn child". There was another 13 emails that day, were she said a lot of nasty things to me, but i just sent nice emails back and took off that saying, just to stop her from being nasty. Then she emailed me " Thank You thats all i wanted :)". I didn't reply and just left it at that. I'm sure she just used my bebo as a reason to make contact with me again Ex and the mother of my kids are now acting like friends, and i know my ex was jealous of the mother of my kids... Wives club...lol
Geishawhelk Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 Yeh, well, women can be sensitive about things like that... I'm not taking sides, but losing a baby through miscarriage is a huge issue for a woman.... it can make her feel as if she must have done something wrong, or that maybe there was something wrong with the baby... hormones go crazy, and a lot of stuff goes on, both physically, and mentally. It's sad for you, but it does something profound to a woman. it can hurt for years, honestly. I know perhaps you felt she may have been blowing it all out of proportion, but for her to see it in print like that, made it burn her... It obviosuly brought an awful lot of anger to the surface... as you could tell! And your taking it off, evoked a 'thank you', so there may be logic in what I say.... you see what I mean? And she and your ex-getting together? What do they have in common? You. What better way to bolster their own esteem and sisterly solidarity than by putting their heads and uniting over the one thing that concerns both of them? Yes, some women will do this. I don't know about men, but I do think in this case, it is a "Gurl" thing....
Author PositiveFuture Posted March 16, 2008 Author Posted March 16, 2008 Thank you so much for your comment, I didn't see it like that at the time... Its a shame the mother of the kids has turn out like this, we were such good friends until the ex got pregnant...
Geishawhelk Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 The thought has crossed my mind that you could just write a short note to your ex-wife, and tell her you feel glad that she and your ex are getting on well - at least something nice has come out of it....She'll inevitably tell your ex.... but you'd be the best judge of that. I can't see from here, with the little info you can get through just the written word, how good or bad an idea this would be. Just chewing the thought.....
CaliGuy Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 The thought has crossed my mind that you could just write a short note to your ex-wife, and tell her you feel glad that she and your ex are getting on well - at least something nice has come out of it....She'll inevitably tell your ex.... but you'd be the best judge of that. I can't see from here, with the little info you can get through just the written word, how good or bad an idea this would be. Just chewing the thought..... I wouldn't Just move along, like a silent ship in the night....
Author PositiveFuture Posted March 16, 2008 Author Posted March 16, 2008 Mother of the kids is taking me back to court (she has full custody and now wants shared). We did have a good agreement (every second weekend, and two nights during the week), but after my breakup, she put a stop to this... I'm just getting on with my life... (I’ve been bungy jumping, skydiving, got back into surfing and have taken the kids on two trips away) all in the last 6 weeks... And have made plans for the rest of this year, I call it "Making the most of 2008"... This is what the ex was getting nasty about as will, that I’m out doing some of the things that we had plan to do together, before we broke up...
Geishawhelk Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 I wouldn't Just move along, like a silent ship in the night.... :laugh: Ok, gotcha....!! I'm just getting on with my life... (I’ve been bungy jumping, skydiving, got back into surfing and have taken the kids on two trips away) all in the last 6 weeks... Oh, the quiet, shy retiring type huh...? I'd re-name it 2008 - the year of living dangerously!!
Author PositiveFuture Posted March 16, 2008 Author Posted March 16, 2008 One more thing I think I should had said. I'm now staying with my mother during the weekdays, as she is going through Chemo... So all this trouble with the two ex's is not helping... I still love my ex and regret leaving her, but I do hope the best for her and will never say or do anything to upset her (especially after what she has gone though). I didn't say anything nasty back to her, when she sent those emails (I’m glad she voiced her anger). Mother of my kids, will there is just no need to do what she is doing at this time
sedgwick Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Sounds like you handled it really well, though. I so dread running into mine. I've been a mess about it for six months. I'm terrified of seeing him every time I turn the corner, anywhere in the city. I see guys who resemble him from afar and it makes my stomach churn. I have no doubt that if I ran into him, I'd crumple into a puddle and sob. So yay for you for doing so well after only two weeks!
Author PositiveFuture Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 I'm glad I ran into her, it kinda got it over and done with... Next time will be easier for sure... The way she was checking me out, I new she would make contact at some stage... 5 days later she did...
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