VeronicaMIA Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Reading all these posts are pretty interesting but i was wondering if any of the men/women that cheat are in love with their significant others... Is it possible to be in love with your husband/wife and cheat on them??? Personaly, i dont think you can be in love and cheat but i just wanna hear other peoples opinion.
Cobra_X30 Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Reading all these posts are pretty interesting but i was wondering if any of the men/women that cheat are in love with their significant others... Is it possible to be in love with your husband/wife and cheat on them??? Personaly, i dont think you can be in love and cheat but i just wanna hear other peoples opinion. In general I agree with your presumption. However, I think the important question is... why do you ask?
OpenBook Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 No, I don't think you can be in love with your SO and cheat on them at the same time. I've seen it described here, over and over again, by CS's. They say they still love their SO's, but are no longer in love with them, and describe the SO as more like a friend or roommate.
Author VeronicaMIA Posted March 6, 2008 Author Posted March 6, 2008 lol i asked because i was having a conversation with a friend of mine and he claims that u CAN be in love and cheat... to him cheating is just sex and only sex and doesnt mean u love your SO any less.. I think its bs but whatever... i was just wondering how the guys think.
trifecta Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Yes I do believe a spouse can cheat and still love their SO/wife/husband/ Guess it all depends on your perception of Luuurrrvvee. TriMax
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 You can love someone and still cheat. There are different types of love, and if a person feels he/she is missing one type - they will seek it elsewhere. These are the people who love their spouse as a partner, the parent of their children, provider for the family, as a family member, etc. but are missing that "in love" passionate "I have to have you over and over all the time" sort of lust/love that is found in brand new romantic relationships. That sort of thing fades with time and time spent together, and some people simply look for it on the outside.
Jess-Belle Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 I can only speak for myself, and I will say that for me, cheating was a way of avoiding real love and intimacy. If I ever started to feel vulnerable, I'd cheat to drive in that wedge. While I may have felt strongly about someone I was with at the time I cheated on them, and at the time I may have possibly claimed to love them -- I now believe that one can't possibly love another and do such a terribly cruel, selfish thing to them. It is an indication that one's love for fulfilling one's own desires has taken center stage.
Lizzie60 Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 I think you can love someone and still cheat on them.. but I think it happens when the 'passion' or 'honeymoon' is gone.. then yes, the love is still there but the 'whoomf' isn't.. MOST affairs are about sex...
angie2443 Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 I do not believe you can cheat on someone and still love them. Cheating requires a certain amount of disrespect and, imo, you can't love someone you disrespect. I guess I'm just big on respect. I understand what another poster was saying about different types of love, romantic versus friendship, and how some people, after bieng in a relationship for a long time, look for the romantic love outside of the relationship. I think this is very immature, though. You can have moments of passionate love even in a relationship that has lasted for years. I've seen plenty of couples like this. To expect this on a daily basis is unrealistic. If one wants passionate love to be there 24/7, then they should never get married. They will be divorcing or cheating every couple of years.
Desperate HH Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 And then there are those of us who desperately love our spouses, but don't get the intimacy/love/attention that we crave, need. After years of this, there seems no alternative - to survive, I need love, affection, intimacy, sex. If my spouse knows this, and refuses? If she says "I can't blame you if you go elsewhere?" There are many reasons for "straying". DHH
trifecta Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I agree Angie-that to expect it on a daily basis is unrealistic-and I certainly appreciate respect... but- what if- I won't get caught? I do not believe I am hurting anyone-because I won't get caught I love my spouse-I am a good spouse...I won't get caught-bit of slap and tickle on the side never hurt anyone! imo. it has nothing to do with or without respect for their spouses-it all has to do with a lack of respect for themselves. Justification(after they are caught), well that is another story. TriMax
Recommended Posts