Jahbenny03 Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Me and my boyfriend just celebrated our two year anniversary this Saturday. I know I shouldnt have invaded his privacy but I went through his emails and saw that he is still chating with his ex from over five years ago. In the emails (last one on Dec 15) he told her that he doesnt have a girlfriend at all. Everyone one of his other friends know that we date and other from the email I checked out he doesnt hide our relationship from any one else that we know personally. I need to know if I should be concerned and if I should confront him about this? I forgot to mention this is not the first time this has come up. He has even told me in the past that he doesnt talk to his ex at all. The last time I found emails from his ex he tried to cover himself by erasing the emails that I saw. I confronted him about those and all he could say is that he didnt email his ex. He made it seem like I was crazy and to make it worse I didnt have any poroof because he erased the emails! But I still consider emails a form of talking. Is chating online with someone considered a form of cheating. To make things even more confusing we just moved in together and he bought me a promise ring for Christmas.
D-Lish Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 I'd be pretty pissed. If you've been together for two years and he is denying your relationship to his ex- that's really uncool. Is it cheating? Depends what he is saying in those e-mails. It's certainly inappropriate. Why would someone lie about having a gf? I can only think of one reason....and it isn't good. I think he's crossed the line here when it comes to trust. What do you plan to do about it? Any inappropriate exchanges that you saw in the e-mail?
xpaperxcutx Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 The rules of privacy does not apply in this case, if you've been together for 2 years, and are living together. And Red Flag alert! What kind of committed boyfriend is he, if he still chats with his gf behind your back and denies it? Not to mention he denies his non single status to a woman he broke up 5 yeas ago? Oh something fishy is going on, and it's not coming from the kitchen. You now have evidence against him, so use it wisely. Worst case scenerio, he might be contemplating cheating... just watch out.
D-Lish Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 The rules of privacy does not apply in this case, if you've been together for 2 years, and are living together. And Red Flag alert! What kind of committed boyfriend is he, if he still chats with his gf behind your back and denies it? Not to mention he denies his non single status to a woman he broke up 5 yeas ago? Oh something fishy is going on, and it's not coming from the kitchen. You now have evidence against him, so use it wisely. Worst case scenerio, he might be contemplating cheating... just watch out. Agreed. As hard as it is to hear- I think you need to confront this. If December 15th was the last contact.... it better be the LAST contact. I talk to ex's here and there but even if I am only seeing someone casually I will be honest about it. I just want you to protect yourself. After 2 years- and a promise ring- there shouldn't be denial about being in a relationship.
Jilly Bean Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Well, do YOU think you should be concerned? I for one think you should be. Your BF is denying your existence to his ex. Why? So that it leaves the door open for her to walk through any time she wants. What he is telling you with his actions is that you are Ms. Right Now, and if she ever gave him the green light, you'd be out in a heartbeat.
Author Jahbenny03 Posted March 6, 2008 Author Posted March 6, 2008 Well I sleep on it last night in hopes of cooling off. But first thing this morning I called him at work and told him everything....how Ive been snooping through his emails and all. His ex was basically going off to him because she heard that we are going together. There was no flirting whats so ever so that gave me a lil relief. I spoke to him and he tried to deny the Dec 15 email at first but when I told him I saved a copy of it to my computer he quickly came clean. Nothing real drastic. His excuse for not mentioning me to his ex was to keep her out of his business. He thought that by telling her he didnt have a gf that she would stop bugging him. Im sorry ladies I may be young but I cant swallow that much bull**** ya know. I basically told him I didnt care what he told her in the emails and that well deal with that later. My main concern right now is that he told me mid last year that the email conversations would stop between the two of them. So I told him hes a liar and its his fault that I cant trust him now. He replied "From this day forward I wont do it again". I dont care what he says I cant trust him. If he would have kept his word last year we would not have had an argument this morning.
NuTuDating Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Ditch him. Fast. He's lying his ASS off and that is a FACT. If I'm talking to an ex for ANY reason and they ask if I'm dating, I tell them the truth. He's lying and you shouldn't put up with it for a second.
Author Jahbenny03 Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 As silly as it sounds Im gonna hang in this relationship a little bit longer. I mean we did just sign a lease together so were kinda stuck here for another year. Only time will tell how honest hes gonna be. So for now Im not gonna make any drastic decisions cause its not like he actually physically cheated on me. Its not that easy to throw 2yrs away just like that. Besides every relationship is a gamble. So you gotta take what you can get and hope for the best.
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