Tangerina Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 So, I've been single for about 6 months and I'm thinking it would be fun to go on some dates, and since pretty much all of my guy friends are off limits for one reason or another, I decided to try an online thing. I went into this with pretty chill expectations, and want to get to know someone really well before we even think about moving from dating to relationship territory. After receiving about 25 replies I ended up having ongoing e-mail conversations with 3 guys that I actually thought sounded interesting and smart and well-adjusted and not desperate. Just based on e-mails, I find I am most interested in K and I'm really excited to have a date with him this Thursday. We work in the same field and he just kind of seems like my type (if he isn't drastically different in real life.) In the potential romance department, I am second most interested in E, but I also feel that he is more the sort of person who would get attached quicker if we went on a date, so I'm getting to know him online better before suggesting meeting up. The third guy, A, seems really smart and interesting but my gut instinct from our conversations so far is that I would be really interested in him as a friend, but probably won't find myself all that attracted to him. Fortunately, he is also the most into the idea of just making friends and seeing where it goes without a lot of initial expectations, so I would be the least nervous hanging out with him. My etiquette question is this: I have a date with K tomorrow, but I just got an e-mail from A asking if I wanted to grab coffee today. Do I go on both dates this week, or is it better to just keep the date with K and find out if we like each other and want to see more of each other before deciding whether to schedule dates with other people? This is all very casual so I don't think it would be wrong to go on both dates this week, but I don't know if this is rude or too potentially complicated if I do spark with one of them. Advice?
SoStupid Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 I think you should go on both dates.. Whats wrong with exploring your options.. If you find that K interests you and you want to get to know him further, then if needed tell the other guys so it doesn't get complicated... Good Luck to you and keep us posted!
blind_otter Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 I'd go on both dates, it's just coffee. You have no obligations to anyone at this point. Enjoy!
Author Tangerina Posted March 5, 2008 Author Posted March 5, 2008 Groovy, that is totally what I thought but I was afraid that maybe I was breaking some secret dating rule. I'm going to go e-mail A right now, I'll let you know how it goes.
tanbark813 Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 I agree with SS and BO. And if you still end up much more interested in K then just let A know what's up. No big deal.
D-Lish Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 Just date and have fun- and don't limit your opportunities! Have as many coffee's, lunches, dinner's as you want at this point! Online dating is a crap shoot, so the more men you meet the better your chances of meeting someone great. Have fun! When you meet someone and you decide to pursue something a little more meaningful- then you can concentrate on that. In the meantime- having mutiple dates is where it's at!
NuTuDating Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 Definitely both dates. No doubt about it. At this point, before a first date with either, it's none of their business if you're dating other people. After a few dates with each, it's something they probably should know.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 Yes of course you can date them both at once. You're not strictly devoted to either, so I don't see the point of why you shouldn't. My only concern is that since they're one day after the other, I hope you don't get their names mixed up
Author Tangerina Posted March 6, 2008 Author Posted March 6, 2008 I got the coffee with A today and it was actually way more fun than I thought it would be. Besides some horribly awkward laughing and stupid conversation topics for the sake of keeping a conversation going, we had a really good chat. He is way cuter than his picture and a little more relaxed and outgoing than I imagined from his e-mails. He's an English grad student and very intelligent. Also, I don't know if he realizes it since I didn't mention it, but I figured out from his facebook that we have a common friend (my profile is private so he couldn't really figure it out from that.) I don't know if this has the potential to develop into any kind of meaningful mutual attraction (I have to admit, I like my boys just a little badder), but at least I met a really nice potential friend today.
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