Girl I'm dating talks a lot about another guy. What gives?

[trans]

heres my situation .. and i really need help .. (any suggestions or advice would be really appreciated )

 

 

 

i've been dating this girl for past quite some time .. around almost a year now .. and this were going really well .. now she has started to like this other guy .. and whenever she talks about him .. i keep smiling and talking normally to her .. but inside it really kills me .. and really tears me apart .. its been happning for the past month and i have got no clue wat to do .. i cant make her not like the guy .. and neither can i see her like him .. im scared if i tell her .. she'll take in an offensive kinda way .. coz shes got pretty touchy touchy about him .. and whenever we talk him .. or rather she talks about him.. we always enfd up in fighting or gettiong pissed with each other

 

please tell me what to do ..

 

 

.. (thanks in advance)

[Ocean-Blue]

heres my situation .. and i really need help .. (any suggestions or advice would be really appreciated )

 

 

 

i've been dating this girl for past quite some time .. around almost a year now .. and this were going really well .. now she has started to like this other guy .. and whenever she talks about him .. i keep smiling and talking normally to her .. but inside it really kills me .. and really tears me apart .. its been happning for the past month and i have got no clue wat to do .. i cant make her not like the guy .. and neither can i see her like him .. im scared if i tell her .. she'll take in an offensive kinda way .. coz shes got pretty touchy touchy about him .. and whenever we talk him .. or rather she talks about him.. we always enfd up in fighting or gettiong pissed with each other

 

please tell me what to do ..

 

 

.. (thanks in advance)

 

You say you two are "dating". Have you discussed exclusivity with her? If not, she is free to date other guys, right?

 

How long have you been seeing her?

[Tony T]

heres my situation .. and i really need help .. (any suggestions or advice would be really appreciated )

 

 

 

i've been dating this girl for past quite some time .. around almost a year now .. and this were going really well .. now she has started to like this other guy .. and whenever she talks about him .. i keep smiling and talking normally to her .. but inside it really kills me .. and really tears me apart .. its been happning for the past month and i have got no clue wat to do .. i cant make her not like the guy .. and neither can i see her like him .. im scared if i tell her .. she'll take in an offensive kinda way .. coz shes got pretty touchy touchy about him .. and whenever we talk him .. or rather she talks about him.. we always enfd up in fighting or gettiong pissed with each other

 

please tell me what to do ..

 

 

.. (thanks in advance)

 

This girl is trying to dump you. If she cared about you in any way or was interested in moving forward with you in a serious way she would never, ever bring up another guy she was seeing and especially not repeatedly. This is inconsiderate and disrespectful as well in a dating situation.

 

The girl is very immature. If she had some time on her, she would simply tell you she's no longer interested in you. On the other hand, maybe you haven't shown her your true interest in her and she may think you just don't care. If that's the case, it may very well be too late to show her just how much you like her.

 

Dating is a learning process sometimes and you have to sit down and think about what you are learning from this. Meanwhile, have a little self respect and tell her you don't care to hear about other guys she's dating. If she persists, show her the door. Learn now or get smashed to the pavement for years to come, if you take crap from people you're dating they will give you more and more.

 

Tell her what the rules are, in a nice way, and she'll have respect for you. Let her keep talking about this guy when she's with you and she'll think either you're a wimp and unworthy of her or you could care less if she's seeing other people.

 

WAKE UP, GUY!!!

[carhill]

Yeah, assuming you've been honest about your feelings and interest, if a girl you've been "dating" for a year is talking about "liking" another guy, I'd exit. You're old reliable; he's new and exciting. She's immature.

 

Lots of fish

[Ocean-Blue]

My bad.

 

I just went over your post again (after reading Tony and carhill's posts). OK, so you've been with her for a year, huh?

 

Well, in that case, you need to have a talk with her! She is wishy washy. You need to set her straight on what your expecations are. Ask her why she feels the need to mention this person all the time. Tell her you are not comfortable with it.

 

If you want to make things work with her, then I suggest you do the above. However, if she is expendable (that is, you can walk away without too much heartache), then I suggest you drop her. She is taking you for granted and is being a ginormous child by giggling about other boys with you.

[trans]

see .. i can completely understand what you'll are saying .. its just that .. she might be 'immature' as you'll put it .. or be childish .. but no matter what .. i still love her .. and by far i don't want to consider the option of breaking up .. and yeah .. thats what i think i need to do now .. discuss ''exclusivity'' with her .. just hope things don't end up in a way i wouldn't want 'em to ..

 

*fingers crossed*

 

thanks for the replies by the way ..

Edited March 5, 2008 by trans

[Chauncey]

It would really help to give us the facts straight.

 

You've been with her for a year...I assume you've been dating one another exclusively...in other words, this is NOT an open relationship correct?

 

How does she talk about this guy? In other words, does she flat out say that she likes this guy, more than that of a friend? Or does she bring him up casually and tells stories about him?

 

Either way, you've been with her for a year...you have more than the right to talk to her about this...whether you are insecure about doing so or not.