slc64 Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 I've been out of the dating circle for a long time but have recently become divorced and went out with my first date, i'm in my early 40's. I live in a small town so everyone pretty much knows everyone so I agreed to a blind date that was set up by friends. We went to a movie and then he came back to my house afterwards for almost 3 hours. We had talked quite a bit before the first date and the conversation was still flowing free and easy and I felt very comfortable with him which is unusual because I am normally so shy! He was very polite and gave me a nice hug and a kiss when he left. Although we communicated via email and MSN only (due to prior commitments he had made) over the next 5 days, we had another house date on the 6th day after our first. We spent all evening laughing and talking and had a wonderful time. When it was time for him to go he kissed me again, more passionately than the first time and long story short, we ended up being intimate. We saw each other again 2 days after that at my house again and again had great conversation and a few laughs and drank a couple of beer and then when it was time to go, he gave me a hug and kiss and left. We continued to communicate with multiple daily emails and a phone call and then saw each other again at my house 3 days later. (we had a snow storm during this time) This time we sat around and talked and watched a movie and again were intimate. That was 2 days ago and we've still communicated via multiple daily emails saying how's your day going etc. What I want to know is - is this the normal dating pattern now a days? It's only been 2 weeks since our first date but i'm wondering if I should be expecting more at first or is this just the "feeling out" stage and dates and times together will be more frequent or am I just being used? Do men do this with girls they don't want a relationship with or am I right to think that it's just slow going and will improve and that he does like me? Thanks for your help!
carhill Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 Time for him to fix you dinner at his house 4 dates and two sexual encounters in two weeks? Man, that was like the first two months of my relationship with my wife, without the sex, but then I'm a prude, so my advice here would likely be irrelevant
wizer Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 Who knows whats normal and what isnt nowadays. My personal experience is similar to yours. Married 18 years, back in the dating world a year ago December. I have been with 3 women in that time, my present relationship is 8 months and still going. I was intimate with the first woman within 3 weeks, the second one within a week, and my present GF within a month or so. None of the relationships failed because of the fast sex although the second girl..the relationship built rapidly in terms of intensity of emotions and crashed and burned just as fast. We brought out the worst of each other it seems. Is he using you? Hard to say. It worked for me, I wasnt using them, but some guys will lose interest if they get sex too quickly. Its a risk you run by jumping right into it. Sounds like you are doing ok.
konfuzd Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 I don't think his visits qualify as "dates". To me you go OUT on a date, especially when you first meet someone. Why are you not going leaving your house together? I'm from a small town, I know it may be hard to find things to go 'out' and do, but there must be a coffee shop, somewhere to walk. I think you need to suggest doing something outside your house. If he doesn't go for it, you need to write this one off as a booty call and move on.
Kamille Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 You've only been dating two weeks, you've seen him four times and you email everyday? That seems pretty steady to me, even a bit on the fast side. Do you really feel it's going slowly?
xpaperxcutx Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 Seems like there's chemistry between the two of you. So why would you think you're going too slow or fast? I think you're going at the right pace. You're just getting back to the dating scene, so it might come off as a surprise why your blind date have gone so well for you? Don't overanalyze it. Just enjoy the moment.
Author slc64 Posted March 5, 2008 Author Posted March 5, 2008 Thanks for the help everyone, I appreciate it! I truly believe that we have chemistry but I was unsure if we were on the right track or not with the frequency of the dates or if I was expecting too much or not enough. And of course I over analyse everything to death because i'm afraid it's too good to be true lol! And I was concerned about the fact that we've only been "out" once to the movies in the 2 weeks we've been seeing each other. We're both homebodies so it really doesn't bother me to stay home and I have a house and a puppy to look after and he has an apt which is why we end up at my house for our visits.
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