prisonbreak Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 (edited) I am a firm believer of NC! Yea, I had my doubts in the beginning and questioned my motives. But all in all, it really is for YOU to heal and move on. Now, for all those people who wish they could go back in time and handle the break up differently, here is another way to think of it, instead of kicking yourselves for pleading, crying and saying too much. Here's the bright side... You had to say what you needed to say. Yea, you may have said too much, but now you don't need to wonder all the "what if's" and you can hold your head high knowing you said what you had to say. Inspired by this video; {Video Link Removed - See Community Guidelines - External links} ps, I was married before and due to many of reasons I divorced him. For a yr he cried, pleaded and wrote me love letters. I was already checked out so it didn't matter what he would've said. Not too long after that he died suddenly. I was heartbroken to say the least, but he said what he had to say and I'm glad he did! Edited March 4, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
MissTiss Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Love the song! I pride myself in getting it all out and though sometimes I beat myself up for "saying too much" or "giving away too much of my power". I wouldn't change it. There are no what if's for me.
frd150 Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Yeah, maybe I said too much but thats up to opinion. As John said "better to say to much then never to say what you need to say". Ive beaten myself up alot over the pleading and begging I did but I think its natural to do so. I replayed what I said and I dont think I would change a thing ummm maybe just the manner in which I said it.
Far Behind Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 Lately, it seems, I keep hearing about people being diagnosed with cancer; yesterday I read about the musician, Jeff Healy, dying, and in West Palm Beach, people eating lunch in a Wendy's just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time because gunman opened fire in the middle of the restaurant. You just never know, and you really do have to make every minute of your life count. That being said, and having read the other posts on this thread, I sent an email tonight to HIM. This was the first one I sent since my surgery; he emailed me over a week ago but it wasn't what you'd call a real warm, fuzzy email, and it only stated that he hoped I was feeling better. Regardless, I just sent an email that simply told him I was ok, and also that a particular song I've been listening to reminds me of him. Didn't ask to see him, or for a phone call, or any kind of response. I know he has already read it, about 20 minutes ago, so I don't think I'm gonna get one, either, but it was really all about me, sending it, anyway. I have been feeling a lot better, lately, and I know I am definitely on the mend, and with him or without him, my life will continue and be wonderful! I really do have so much to be thankful for, and I'm trying to focus on all the positives in my life!
Author prisonbreak Posted March 5, 2008 Author Posted March 5, 2008 I posted a Youtube video link...oops that's a no no. Anyway the song is by John Mayer and it's called "Say". It's a great song if anyone is interested. But this is not an excuse to go ahead and make contact...it's to make you feel better if you already did and now regretting it. But, hey, if you want to then who am I to judge?
Far Behind Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 But this is not an excuse to go ahead and make contact...it's to make you feel better if you already did and now regretting it. But, hey, if you want to then who am I to judge? I didn't take it as an excuse to make contact, I had been thinking about doing it for days. In fact I sent, and unsent, a different email over the weekend. I am not expecting a response, I just wanted to feel that as I am letting go, that I put a positive message out. And I really do feel myself (finally) letting go of something that I held onto for too long. I know that if the guy REALLY cared for me, regardless of whatever scares him or any flaws that he may have, the situation we are in would not have occurred. You just don't bail without an explanation and a goodbye. Maybe after a date or two, but this, while it was short-lived compared to many on here, was far more than a casual fling. The cool thing, like I said, is that I finally feel like I'm in healing mode and will be able to move on now. Not cuz I sent the email; that was only part of the process. I haven't cried for a few days now, and that is a huge step for me! 1
Author prisonbreak Posted March 5, 2008 Author Posted March 5, 2008 Far behind- Congrats on not crying for a few days. It sounds like you're really a smart girl! You realize this is not about you, but rather he has issues. I love that! It's so sad when people take on other people's ****ake. Good job for sending it. You are only in control of your thoughts/feelings and behaviors. You wanted to send it so you did. Now don't even wonder what he is thinking or if he'll respond, because guess what? You don't have control over that. You did what made you happy. Good for you! I also believe it's part of the process of healing and moving on. I sent a 7 page letter! I had to do it for myself. It was MY way of letting go. It was more about me, not about him at all. I didn't expect him to come back when i sent it, so it didn't matter. I knew all the letters in the alphabet nicely arranged couldn't make him return, but it could help me let go. 1
Far Behind Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 Hey Prison...thanks for your encouraging words! Funny enough, on the one hand, I will probably continue to wonder for a while if he will ever contact me again, but bottom line is, I know I'm getting to a moving on place, and even ready to start getting out of the house. I have sat home for the past 2 months, even weekends when i haven't had my kids, essentially licking my wounds and staring at the computer willing it to deliver an email, willing him to somehow contact me. The desperation is gone, so I know I"m on my way!
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