base618 Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Felt like checking in... it's been a while. 97 days since I caught my STBXW sleeping with a co-worker (she moved in with him that weekend). This past weekend I went out for a vacation to San Diego to visit a friend of mine (I'm in the cold Northeast). As it turned out, the weekend I was gone was the weekend my STBXW moved 750 miles away. We worked at the same company, so on Friday had the thoughts of "must be at her happy hour right now"... and "her last weekend with her boyfriend before she moves away" (his house is for sale and is moving with her when it sells). Came home and found her keys to the house and mailbox on the table, and a note about the cat's vet appointment, that's it. I purposely didn't say goodbye, or even acknowledge she was leaving. Told her that when she left, I expected even less communication, and would prefer house/divorce stuff be handled by mail only (she keeps emailing me with inane things). So I'm a pretty adventurous guy, and my trip out west involved skydiving, BASE Jumping, caving and canyoneering. She saw my BASE rig and Skydive rig out as I was preparing to pack one day she came to get the mail. She got all nervous and asked for an "I'm OK" text when I got back safe, and was that OK that she was asking for it, but she was really worried since she saw the rigs and knew I'd be jumping. I agreed, only because didn't feel like having a discussion with her about 'it's none of your business anymore'. I had to have her address for house/divorce stuff, but told her didn't want her emailing me from work because I didn't want to know where she worked, what she did, or anything about her life. I successfully didn't see her after catching her affair (was on the phone, had proof and she admitted it). So the last time I saw her was the morning before she went away for the weekend, supposedly alone. Now I don't have to worry about running into her anymore, and soon, running into him either (lives 2 miles away). It does feel a bit different now that she's gone, I mean, she was gone before, but now she is really gone. I'm definitely doing better. There are times where days go by and I don't have a thought about any of it. Other days some old memory pops into my head of something we've done, or somewhere we went. The thought of her still makes me pissed, hoping that passes, but even still, those thoughts are fewer and far in-between. For all the guys out there who feel helpless and like their lives are over... there is hope. I actually don't have enough nights during the week to allow for all that I can do now. I'm actually scheduling dates for week nights because I've got dates lined up with different girls on the weekend. Hitting the gym and focusing on myself has definitely paid off. I still miss 'being married' the comfort of it, waking up with the same person, having that person always in your life... but it's finally setting in that I can have that again, this time with someone who isn't a chronic cheater and liar. Looking back, those first few weeks would have been that much harder without LS. I appreciate all the help everyone has given me. I have stayed away from the site because right now, reading all of the stories that are so similar to mine isn't what I need right now, it brings back the same emotions I had. But will be back to give my .02 soon.... Joe
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