AlexJChilton Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 ok.. I would like to add a new rule to the world of breaking up. If you were in a significant romantic relationship and break up and you were the one at fault... You must, no matter how badly it ended make very brief contact on the Ex's birthday and significant holidays (once at Christmas/New Years - maybe once at Thanksgiving). Even if the other person hates you - send a note no less than 2 sentences and no greater than 5 sentences wishing that other person happiness on that day. this practice should go on for a very long time.
norajane Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Why prolong the agony? Each time the dumpee hears from the ex, they'll start hoping they can get back together...or will be reminded anew what they don't have anymore...especially if the ex is sending those glad tidings of peace and joy whilst cuddling under the Christmas tree with their new love...
Tony T Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 There is no good reason to have a rule like the OP has proposed. It's irrational and senseless. People need to move on and away from past heartbreak and need not be reminded of it. Most people move on to other relationships and their current partners are not happy about contact with partners of the past. I have no idea why the OP proposed this absurd practice but it's sure to make a fool out of many people who do it and to horrendously embarrass others who don't get the response they had hoped for.
heartoutside Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 It's kind of selfish. Yes, you may think you are doing your ex a favor by being nice and you think they want to hear from you and they may want to hear from you, but you're just opening a wound and rubbing the salt in. YOU will be giving your ex false hope by contacting them. Maybe, just maybe a few years down the road, you can drop them a line. BUT if you break someones heart, don't keep going back to f with it!
superfox Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 I totally do not agree with this rule, it is silly. My ex left me pretty much the day before my b-day. It was bad timing, and it was right after we spent xmas and new years with his family. He had even made plans for my bday weekend and confirmed them just hours before he broke up with me....anyways on my bday he messaged me to wish me a happy bday....i didnt understand it its like hello? you just broke up with me you showed no care for my feelings, horrible timing, and treated me as if im disposable then you want to say something nice? No sorry thats not how it works....it may have helped him ease the guilt and feel like less of a bad person for all the leading on and lies he told me but no it didnt do anything for me.
mistie03 Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Today IS my birthday. We broke up right after Christmas. I knew I wouldn't hear from him today and didn't expect to. What's the point? I am better off not hearing from him.
Trimmer Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 I disagree with the OP too. It could even be a bit cruel, if inadvertently so. Alex: In spite of everybody disagreeing with you, I'm interested to know what prompted you to propose this. Are you either a dumper or dumpee, and what did you go through that brought you to this proposal?
sveltskye Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 My ex showed up on my birthday at the club I was at. It was kind of nice to see him (this was about a month out) but at the same time kind of like "What are you doing here?" I had posted I would be there on a myspace bulliton so 1) any friends/acquaintences I hadn't invited who wanted to show up could and wish me a Happy Birthday 2) so he could avoid me if he wanted to (cause we often frequent the same club). I honestly didn't expect to see him or get any acknowledgement from him at all. And yeah, he was the dumper. I don't know if I would say it was a terrible thing, but it did shake me up.
sedgwick Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 I disagree 100%. If my ex did that, it would really mess me up, thinking he still cared. I'd rather know he doesn't and just not hear from him. Also, people, please remember that sentences end with a PERIOD! This is a single dot, rather than ellipsis, which is "dot dot dot." All those dots make your posts difficult and annoying to read. Real punctuation will do just fine! You don't have to make up your own!
fiyah Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 when IS it okay for the "dumper" to initiate contact and send a holiday/b-day greeting? my ex and i said when we broke up that we'd like to try to be friends in a couple years, maybe even re-evaluate things one day... that seems like a long time.. i'm considering making some contact maybe at the 1 year mark just to let her know i'm alive and it'd be so nice just to get a pulse from her...
sb129 Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 There is no way I am ever contacting my ex voluntarily again. It would achieve absolutely nothing. Our R is finished, and I am getting married to someone else who is just amazing. It was my ex's birthday a few weeks ago and I didn't even notice until a week after it had been and gone.
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