dakky Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Ok So I am about to pour my heart out to the internet. Please have some mercy. I'm a 24year old man and I Have had various sexual encounters(5or6) with women I found attractive and i have never been able get/hold an erection. What does arouse me is women in wheelchairs now i know that sounds weird or sick or what not but in recent years thanks to the internet I know that I am not alone and there are other people who are attracted to various things. Now here's the problem. I have no confidence left. This has caused me so many problems in life I don't know whether or not to include in this post. I mean my "game" is messed up because I always have at the back of my head " not going to be able to get it up..." I started gambling when i was 13 got interested in that and at 17 started doing drugs. I became an addict to both. I don't know if I do it to escape from my problems buts maybe. Maybe I need to see a counsellor but im scared to death of saying that thing to another human being face to face.
Kamille Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Ok So I am about to pour my heart out to the internet. Please have some mercy. I'm a 24year old man and I Have had various sexual encounters(5or6) with women I found attractive and i have never been able get/hold an erection. What does arouse me is women in wheelchairs now i know that sounds weird or sick or what not but in recent years thanks to the internet I know that I am not alone and there are other people who are attracted to various things. Now here's the problem. I have no confidence left. This has caused me so many problems in life I don't know whether or not to include in this post. I mean my "game" is messed up because I always have at the back of my head " not going to be able to get it up..." I started gambling when i was 13 got interested in that and at 17 started doing drugs. I became an addict to both. I don't know if I do it to escape from my problems buts maybe. Maybe I need to see a counsellor but im scared to death of saying that thing to another human being face to face. There really isn't anything wrong with being attracted to people in wheelchairs. Hell, to know someone out there actually thinks it's a plus actually cheers me up and I'm not paraplegic. Go see a councellor who will help you figure out why your desires make you feel guilty - but who will most likely spend most of his time trying to help you figure out why you rely on gambling and drugs.
Author dakky Posted March 4, 2008 Author Posted March 4, 2008 Thanks for saying something, this is killing me like. I mean where do I turn. I am confused, angry upset and this is hurting so bad. Suicide has crossed my mind!(not that i would do it becasue suicide is for idiots) but I want a partner and this is holding me back. I am scared. I DO find normal women attractive but every time in bed my erections have been virtually non-existant... What type of councilor ?
xpaperxcutx Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Look for a therapist. You have some underlying issues that might have stemmed from your childhood or something. And what you have is a fetish, and it's nothing to be ashamed about.
Kamille Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Thanks for saying something, this is killing me like. I mean where do I turn. I am confused, angry upset and this is hurting so bad. Suicide has crossed my mind!(not that i would do it becasue suicide is for idiots) but I want a partner and this is holding me back. I am scared. I DO find normal women attractive but every time in bed my erections have been virtually non-existant... What type of councilor ? I myself did cognitive therapy and it was difficult at first but it did help and still helps. I am also now trying a form of group therapy (Al Anon) and that is proving to be the best type of therapy for me at the moment. The most important thing is that you do the first step to go ask for some help. If you have a doctor you could ask him if he could refer you to a therapist. It's a long road ahead, but your quality of life can be greatly improved. And thoughts of suicide banished (I no longer think about it). You can read up on the web too, to see which kind of therapy would be best for you: Here is but one of multiple links: http://psychology.about.com/od/psychotherapy/a/treattypes.htm
Kamille Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 (edited) Just wanted to add that once you have figured out what kind of therapy would work for you, then your next resource is either your doctor or the phone book. Then call up a few places. Most therapist ar every busy and it can take awhile finding one who can work you into their schedule (don't feel rejected by this... There's a lot of people seeking support out there). Ask the ones you talk to if they can refer you to therapist who are taking clients at the moment. And I'm assuming, from what you describe, that your erectile disfunction only happens in the heat of the moment but that you otherwise have no problem maintaining an erection (like when you're masturbating). No matter, you could want to bring up the topic with a medical doctor, who will then most likely talk to you about various forms of therapy and refer you to a few therapists. Edited March 4, 2008 by Kamille
Ronni_W Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Maybe I need to see a counsellor but im scared to death of saying that thing to another human being face to face. I agree with the other posters: One needs not feel ashamed of or embarrassed by a fetish; and proper counseling will help you deal with those types of harsh self-judgments. Also wanted to add that your comfort level with your therapist is of utmost importance -- it will be up to both of you to develop a trusting relationship, but don't stick with anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable. If you do come across a therapist who displays any judgment around ANYthing you think, say or do, please know that it is an indication of her/his lack of professionalism and empathy -- it doesn't mean that your needs, wants and preferences are "wrong" in any way. Best of luck.
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