jinx55 Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 About 3 weeks ago me and my girlfriend broke up. We were together for 4 1/2 years. However tonight after talking to her friend I found out she is seeing someone else. My ex called me tonight because she found out I was having a conversation with her friend and we talked because I told her I wanted closure on the situation and I did because we never really had any. She told me that she didnt see this new guy until after we broke up. She is a very honest person as I have known her for a long time. I am still madly in love with this girl and when we talked she said I only have 5 minutes and then she is hanging up. We ended up talking for 20 and she did listen to some of the things I had to say but she told me not to contact her until this summer when I am out of school. She was my best friend does anyone have any advice or been through a similar situation like this? Anything would help right now, thanks.
Belkin Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 Do you want you two to be back together? Why did you breakup? Seeing someone only 3 weeks after a 4.5 year relationship seems a bit fast to me... If she knew the guy before, it does seem suspicious, else it seems like rebound...
Author jinx55 Posted March 3, 2008 Author Posted March 3, 2008 Do you want you two to be back together? Why did you breakup? Seeing someone only 3 weeks after a 4.5 year relationship seems a bit fast to me... If she knew the guy before, it does seem suspicious, else it seems like rebound... I do want her back. We broke up because of a couple things... distance, and when we did see each other we would have little fights that really were about nothing and when I say "nothing" I mean they were just stupid and were not needed. I have been going to a counsler weekly about this and trying to improve myself because I know I am not the perfect person. We were madly in love sharing much of our time together and even so I would cut out times from my friends. Which I see as a good thing about this is I have been able to reconnect with my friends and have a more healthy life in that aspect and even though I am not fat by any means I am also exercising and eating much healthier. My assumption about the new guy is he was interested in her while we were together and I can only hope he is just a rebound.
Belkin Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 I don't know about you to getting back together, but it probably won't happen too soon if it is bound to happen (especially if she's seeing someone else now...) At least, you're seeing the positive aspects of this breakup. Take care of yourself for now, think about your own physical well being, enjoy your friends... (How old are you two btw?) And really go No Contact, especially as she asked you to, not as a game to get her back, not as a way to show her you don't care, but for your own sake. There's a great post, you should check it out, it gives some deep insight: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ Good luck, tough times ahead, but hopefully a brighter future... That's what I tell myself at least!
vivrantflo Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 I am still madly in love with this girl and when we talked she said I only have 5 minutes and then she is hanging up. If a woman EVER told me that, I'd hang up on her @ss right there... She sounds young... in between 18-23 right?? anyway, it was a long distance relationship.. and since she moved on so quick, she had this other guy in mind long before you two broke up... Where do you think the fights out of nowhere came from?? The other guy was around, so she was fighting over the smallest things... I seriously resent women like this. You think you need counselling? I don't.. you know what you're doing.. you were able to maintain a 4 and a half year relationship.. which is amazing.. SHES the one that jumped ship.. there's nothing wrong with you You've been doing all the right things post break up.. so continue to do that, and don't contact her at all. BTW.. it's not a rebound.. during those fights that came out of nowhere... she was emotionally detaching herself from you.. Trust me.. so when the break up came, she easily made the transition to him. Young girls do that. I know it hurts man, 4 and a half years is a long time... but give yourself time man, and you'll get over her.. there's someone out there that's better for you, and wouldnt leave you for ANYONE else.. You'll find her.
Author jinx55 Posted March 3, 2008 Author Posted March 3, 2008 Thanks for the post for yours and the other one to the link as well. I am 23 and she is 20. We met in Highschool when I was a senior and she was a sophomore in a photo digital class. I have been talking recently to a girl I actually had a little thing with before I met my recent ex. This other girl I am talking to moved away to Arizona for college for a while but I found out recently she is back where I am from and is getting a house. I am not looking for anything serious at the moment but I am looking for some fun casual dates and I guess another good thing is I am highly attracted to this new girl and from before I can tell it is mutual . We have already planned out a few dates for when I come home for spring break. My heart still does hurt, but between my close friends here at school and my counsler I am doing ok.
dfreeman Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 My heart still does hurt, but between my close friends here at school and my counsler I am doing ok. If you are doing ok, 3 1/2 weeks out of a 4-year relationship then you are actually doing great! Listen to those good friends...mine have kept me from going crazy!
s_n_d Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 I know how hard it is. A lot of people on LS know exactly how your feeling too. Just keep yourself busy..Go out to the gym, or with friends, or ANYTHING to keep your mind of your ex. This period of No contact from now until the summer will help you a lot. A month alone, for me has been a Godsend.
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