traveller991 Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 Thanks to all who replied to my post. I have taken advice and gone NC for 6 weeks (on Tuesday). LD bf has not called me since he said he was sick, asked me for money, I sent it, he said darling I'll call you tomorrow and I've never heard from him since. I know he's fine and at work. LDR was going on very heavy for the past year - I'd spend a month to six weeks down there, come home for two months, back down, etc. I am leaving next Monday for Punta Cana for my Canadian friend's wedding which the bf (N) and I were supposed to attend together, spend a few days there, then fly back to Cabarete. Obviously I'm going solo. I will be in Cabarete Mar 17th. I was talking on the phone to my friend Carlos in Cabarete yesterday and he told me he had said to someone about me "Oh, I don't know ... maybe she broke up with her boyfriend". I didn't respond to the comment but it sounded like Carlos was fishing. I haven't mentioned N in conversations with Carlos since I came home at Christmas so he hasn't heard anything from ME about this. Who knows, maybe N ran into Carlos and told him he thinks I broke up with him because I haven't called or texted to see if he's still sick. In any case I'm still hurting like hell, I miss him so much and all the calls and texts, but hey, you all know the drill. Here's where I need some advice please - There are about 30 people down there who know us as a couple - mostly friends or co-workers of N as well as his brother and sister. If I run into any of them what shall I do? Remember there has been no closure here, no explanation, zero, nada. I haven't phoned because I expected him to do so, and then after about a week I thought - he's not going to call! Then I didn't want to hear what he had to say if it was going to be a dump speech because I can still reiterate every word of the last serious relationship guy's 4-hour speech and that was in June of 1994. It took me 3 years to get over that one-year relationship. I've just been waiting for N to call me as he said he would. So if for instance I'm in the casino and M who works with the xbf comes in, do I say "hi, say hello to N for me" or wave and leave, ignore him and leave, what? If someone asks me how he is or why he isn't at the casino (restaurant etc.) with me, what do I say? I know that whatever I say will be immediately reported back to him so I need to be careful here. Dignity and all, you know. I refuse to hide in my hotel suite for 3 weeks and I'm not going to cancel my holiday because I love it there and have met a lot of friends who I want to see. Understand I'm not fooling myself, my brain and logic tell me this guy is TROUBLE but my heart still has the assinine hope that he will arrive at my room, profess his undying love, say it was all a big misunderstanding and we will live happily ever after. And I'm HOW old??? Any and all advice appreciated, please. Thanks. Traveller
kittensmittens Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 Perhaps you could tell them, simply, that he "couldn't make it"? Even if that line gets back around to him, It's a generic enough response that I don't think you'll lose any dignity over it. You honestly don't know what's going on with him and you have to tell them something if they ask. And if they ask why, maybe you could just say "he's at work". That way you aren't lying, but they'll piece it together for you..."he couldn't make it because he had to work". Hope this helps!
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