Nightwolf_58 Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 So I've been seeing this girl for about a month and a half now. We have seen each other at least once or twice a week for the duration of time. Then the rest of the week we talk or txt every everyday until this past week. We hung out all night this past weekend, cuddled, made out, and talked about how we felt about each other. Now all of a sudden I got no response from her on anything. I did txt her back and forth a little last week, and she said she was looking forward to seeing me, but her family had company coming into town and she promised to hang out with them, but still wanted to see me. Anyway, fast forward to now, haven't heard a word from her since the middle of last week. I txt'ed her to say hi yesterday, but haven't heard a word which is weird because she always would txt me back. So I'm starting to wonder if I did something wrong or if this is her way of telling me she's not interested anymore? We go from talking everyday to complete silence. I haven't dated for a while so is this how a girl tries to give you a hint that she isn't interested aymore? I'm completly shocked really because I thought we had something good going on.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 What if she's really busy with family obligations? Don't jump to conclusions just yet. Give it till the week starts, and then text to ask how she's doing. IMO, I'm really againsts texting because I've been in a situation similar to yours where I'd really hit it off with this guy, always iming and texting, that after a while he stopped complete contact. And I was put into an awkward position of texting him and never getting a reply. So I say, give her a call, leave her a voice message. That'll at least guarantee that she will have listened to the message and would be common courtesy to give you a call back. Should she choose to avoid you, then you know that she's not interested.
gfto Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 This happens all the time. It's possible that she is one of those serial daters who was never into you to begin with. If so, she has probably already moved on to the next guy, and then she'll drop off his radar in six to seven weeks, then move on to the next guy. Or, she might have been into you in the beginning, but she got turned off by the fact that you were chatting and texting with her EVERY day. That's too much. Anyway, there's a 0.0001% chance that she still digs you, but for some reason hasn't been able to get in touch with you for several days. The more likely scenario is that she's simply no longer interested. I wouldn't initiate any further contact with her. If she calls you and asks you for a date, then go ahead. But, if she calls and just aimlessly chit-chats, get off the phone, cut your losses, and move on.
Author Nightwolf_58 Posted March 3, 2008 Author Posted March 3, 2008 Basically how she talks to everyone is through txting. Ususally she would contact me first and we would talk or txt everyday. Sometimes I would contact her first and all seemed well. I guess I might have been really wrong this time. She just didn't seem like the kind of person to just cut you off because she wasn't interested. She told me that that she would have just come out and tell me if she wasn't interested. So that's why I'm a little lost.
D-Lish Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 As much as I don't like saying it- I assume you are looking for honesty. I think, when you like someone, you can and will always make time for someone. Even if she is busy with family, it takes 2 seconds to return a text. No matter how busy I am, when I am into someone, I take time to respond to them. I've been in that position where I've been with someone who seemed really into me for a good month- and then dropped off the face of the earth. I want to be optomistic- but I think you should have heard back by now if she was into dating you.
xaneurysmx Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 I think, when you like someone, you can and will always make time for someone. For sure. In fact, the busier I get, the more effort I put into making sure there's time to see the person I really care for. At the same time, some girls do play games of pulling back because they don't want to seem to needy, but that doesn't sound like the case here, because you've already admitted to putting much effort into keeping in touch with her, so there's no reason she should feel that way. I agree with the other poster--give her a call, leave a message saying you were calling to see how she's doing and to give ya a call back. Then buy a 24-pack and wait... lol. (sorry)
Author Nightwolf_58 Posted March 3, 2008 Author Posted March 3, 2008 What's weird too is she told me earlier in the week she was looking forward to seeing me this weekend, but I haven't heard a word. I guess I'll try a phone call here and see what happens. I just want to know if she's not interested anymore, then just tell me, I can take it.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 What's weird too is she told me earlier in the week she was looking forward to seeing me this weekend, but I haven't heard a word. I guess I'll try a phone call here and see what happens. I just want to know if she's not interested anymore, then just tell me, I can take it. See, it's hard for a girl to accept that a guy can take rejection because they say they can, in which they really don't. My ex said he could take rejection should I ever decided to break up with him, and when I did face to face, guess what happened? He asked me why and begged me to give us another chance. It can be applied the other way around. Why does alot of guys stand up girls by ceasing all contact? Because of the drama! We like drama because we as woman cannot live without it, but we can only take drama to a certain degree. We don't like to hurt people any more than you do, so we sometimes have to take he cowardly way out. I don't know her, but if be sure to have some kleenex with you when she does tell you why. I'm sure its not gonna be pleasant.
D-Lish Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 I meant of coke. I just saw 20. Or just slip across the border to the north and he'd be okay.... he could get a naked lap dance too. Back on topic. Sorry. I don't think I'd reach out again given the fact that you've already done so and heard nothing back. Sometimes people are just flaky- lazy, they change their minds.... they aren't who you think they are, etc. If you have contacted her and not heard back, contacting her again will make you seem a bit desperate. The ball is in her court and I would leave it there. I have simply stopped talking to someone before because I didn't have the energy to tell them I wanted to stop seeing them. Especially in the early stages of dating. She has your number- she knows how to reach you. Wait for her to answer you, and if she doesn't- move on.
Author Nightwolf_58 Posted March 3, 2008 Author Posted March 3, 2008 Well I did call and leave her a message last night, and got nothing. I guess I just don't get it how one day everthing is cool you are having a good time and even get told that they like you, and then the next day it's a total 180. Weird. Just have to wait and see I guess.
D-Lish Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 Well, as weird and confusing as it may seem to you... I have to tell you that in my many years of dating experience, it happens all the time. Yes, the odd time there is a valid excuse, but more often than not, the other party has lost interest for one reason or another. I have done this with others and have other do it to me. I dated someone before x-mas who was crazy for me- couldn't get enough contact, texting, msn-ing, visits. One day I left my phone at home and was away for 12 hours and when I got home I had missed 17 texts and calls and a full page of "where are you's" on my msn. He dropped off the face of the earth one day after just over a month of dating.... I did see talk to him once or twice after that and see him one time.... but he had totally changed. It does happen that people just flake out and change their minds. It has nothing to do with you or anything you did or didn't do. Now that you have called- let this be the last time. No more calling or texting. The ball is in her court- leave it there.
Balthazar Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 I think it is a mistake to get pulled into the whole text-ing messaging modus operandi with women. I personally pick up and call, and expect a woman who is interested to do the same(and when interested,they do). IMO, text-ing introduces a certain impersonality into the relationship and is not what I expect from an interested female. As for the not contacting, there is no way that would happen if she was into you! I would definitely break off all contact with this woman, and even if she does contact you(which she probably won't do), do not give her the time of day.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 I think it is a mistake to get pulled into the whole text-ing messaging modus operandi with women. I personally pick up and call, and expect a woman who is interested to do the same(and when interested,they do). IMO, text-ing introduces a certain impersonality into the relationship and is not what I expect from an interested female. As for the not contacting, there is no way that would happen if she was into you! I would definitely break off all contact with this woman, and even if she does contact you(which she probably won't do), do not give her the time of day. Wow, a guy who likes the phone?
Krytie TV Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 This isn't a you problem. It's a her problem. They are plentiful. Best to learn what it looks like and get ready for more to come. Trust me, after enough of the same experiences, you really stop wasting energy on these situations.
Author Nightwolf_58 Posted March 3, 2008 Author Posted March 3, 2008 I guess what I don't get is why someone would tell you that they like you, and also tell you that they can't wait to spend time with you, and then just like that change their mind?
xpaperxcutx Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 Because truthfully, I don't know. I had this happen to me, and I'm still getting over it. The more you question it, the more it's gonna huant you. Just accept it for what it is, we can't get do anything about it. It'll get easier over thime.
Krytie TV Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 Because truthfully, I don't know. I had this happen to me, and I'm still getting over it. The more you question it, the more it's gonna huant you. Just accept it for what it is, we can't get do anything about it. It'll get easier over thime. Yup. Having answers will do nothing for you. It'll happen again. Sooner or later, you'll start just losing interest in dealing with these situations and all of these "should I call" questions will become amazingly clear and obvious.
Author Nightwolf_58 Posted March 3, 2008 Author Posted March 3, 2008 Yeah, I guess the reason this one really hurts is because this is my first try at a relationship since my divorce. I was really thinking my life was moving in the right direction and I was extremely happy. Kind of knocks the confidence level down a little :-)
pajamaman Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 what you did wrong was to be too available. you also kept on contacting her even though she stopped responding. that is a sign of desparation. the reason why she change her mind besides the obvious that you made her see you as as desparate is because SHE CAN! never put too much value on what a woman says. watch her actions because they speak louder than her words.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 what you did wrong was to be too available. you also kept on contacting her even though she stopped responding. that is a sign of desparation. the reason why she change her mind besides the obvious that you made her see you as as desparate is because SHE CAN! never put too much value on what a woman says. watch her actions because they speak louder than her words. The same can be said of a man.
lino Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 I guess what I don't get is why someone would tell you that they like you, and also tell you that they can't wait to spend time with you, and then just like that change their mind? a lot of girls are very good at saying/doing the things you want to hear when they want to get what they want, when they want it never put too much value on what a woman says. watch her actions because they speak louder than her words. too true!
madgun68 Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Yeah, I guess the reason this one really hurts is because this is my first try at a relationship since my divorce. I was really thinking my life was moving in the right direction and I was extremely happy. Kind of knocks the confidence level down a little :-)Ah, welcome to the wonderful world of dating. I'd agree with others have said.. Don't contact her again. If she's interested, she'll reach out to you. It helps to be mindful of changes in communication. I usually start to notice it with the mundane stuff. (How's your day been or did you have a good day at work.) Even if you're still talking to one another, if you ask something as basic as how their day went and they don't return same, that's usually where it starts. (Had this happen a couple of times recently. In both cases, it was because someone else was on the "radar.") She told me that that she would have just come out and tell me if she wasn't interested. So that's why I'm a little lost.Take anything said like that with a grain of salt. She come out and tell you after she's fully interested in someone else.. But even the ones that want you to think they are different usually follow the same patterns as everyone else.
NuTuDating Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 NEXT! I had four dates with a girl who did NOT have a job. No kiss after four dates, I paid for everything, and she would take two days to return a phone call and blame it on her two daughters and not having enough time. I let her know that we were done and she was all upset, but the fact is, if she can't find two seconds to return a text or a phone call, she's not interested and you should drop her like a bad habbit.
Author Nightwolf_58 Posted March 4, 2008 Author Posted March 4, 2008 Well here is an update. Turned out that her phone was broken the whole time, so that is why she never got back to me. However, she did finally say that something just doesn't feel right, weather it be that she doesn't feel a strong connection, or because she is just overwhelmed with everything else going on in her life and isn't ready to take the next step just yet, she said she just couldn't quite explain it. She said that I'm an amazing person and feels bad for bailing, but has to take time and concentrate on her family right now. So, I guess that's it. She kind of sorta left the door open for the future, but I've already deleted her number off my phone and every other way I could contact her. A friend of mine said to give her time and if she really misses you, she will be back in contact. Until then or not, I guess I move on with life, thank you to all that have giving me advice and listened. It's much appreciated.
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