g1976b Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 So the ex of 6 weeks is finally moving all of her things out today...furniture, kitchen items, everything. I'm torn. Obviously it's going to be a hard day, but maybe it's what I need now to move on a little bit more. She's been absolutely nasty to me for the better part of a month. She STILL won't even sit down and talk to me about the breakup. On top of everything of course she's seeing someone new. I've tried to remain civil, but I got tired of being lied to and walked over. I'm hoping I can be patient and kind today. I don't really expect to see her again after this so I would like to leave a good impression. Do I want her back still? I don't know. I do, but not the person she is right now. She'd have to do a lot of explaining and would need to show me something very different than I see now. The moving van is on the way, so wish me luck. I hope to be able to report good news later today!!
Prosecco Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 Good luck. I can't offer any advice whatsoever... but good luck.
dfreeman Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 It was my stuff going in the van, but my advice stays the same. Be kind and courteous at all times - don't let her actions be bigger than you. I was able to do this and walked away with a lot of pride and dignity. Nothing you do or say today will change anything - just stay collected and keep it about the move. oh, and good luck coming out of this with your heart intact. dfree
Author g1976b Posted March 3, 2008 Author Posted March 3, 2008 Well to be fair, the "heart in tact" thing didn't happen. It was tough. Unfortunately she didn't get it all and now will have to come back and get the rest of it sometime next week. It was awkward. She had 5 friends with her and it was pretty difficult. We were civil for the most part. We had one fall out when we found ourselves alone and got into it a bit. She just can't fathom how I can change and is SOOOOOO angry with me for what I did to her. Admittedly, I have made mistakes. But it sounds like she blames me for all of her self esteem issues over the past year. That's just not fair. I guess it comes down to the fact that she cannot see how she can get over our past issues and my controlling/jealous issues. I really feel like if she remembered the good stuff and even if she believed in the change and our relationship could be EXACTLY what she wants, she'd still say 'not right now'. I got together with my cousin (girl) who is about a year and half older than her. She had an interesting take. Essentially she said that it just didn't seem like my ex was 'ready'. She's (nearly) 24 and I'm 31 so maybe much of this is just her needing to get through some of her things in life. Needing to be independent and out on her own. She all but told me the same when we were together. I know I can't wait around for her, and I won't. It's just hard to think that some of this can come down to timing. I know we both love each other. I've hurt her. She won't forgive me. She won't say 'never', so part of me will likely hold on to that. The only good of all of this is that she claims that when she comes back for the rest of her things that we'll finally really have a chance to talk. I'm skeptical, but hopeful. There's a lot I hope we can say and get through. I shouldn't expect much, but I'm hoping for the best. Breakups/relationships suck.
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