NiceyDevil Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 Hello all. 2 years ago I met this interesting woman through common friends. We both felt some kind of instant attraction for each other but she had a bf and I was dating her best fd so nothing happened. Eventually we both ended our relationships and we started seeing each other more. One night I decided to make a move and I kissed her passionately. We ended up "making out" and it was great. The problem was she somewhat was seeing another guy by then and we had developed strong friendship feelings when this happened so we both ended up with different persons. 1,5 years have passed since that day and now we both single again, however her relationship is not completely over. We started to see each other more again and my feelings started to show up again, especially now that we have been great fds for all this time I want to be with someone I can really trust. Thing is when we are together we talk alot about the possibility of being more than fds and she just snaps out and uses the F word, but when its me saying that we can never be more than fds she seems to act reluctantly and starts flirting w me, remembering me of all the time we spent together... We care a great deal with one another and most times when we are together we hug alot and exchange caresses. At the present time I don't know what to think anymore. I know that her mind is not completely off from her last bf so I don't want to fool myself. My question is if you guys think that after shes completely done with this guy is it possible for her to see me as a lover or Im doomed in the friendzone forever and she keeping me as a backup? Thx in advance.
FormerNiceGuy Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 Short answer: You can't, so don't bother trying. Go concentrate on the hundreds of millions of other awesome single girls available to you in this world. Long answer: No seriously, it’s next to impossible. You're wasting your energy even thinking about it. I know this girl might seem like "the one" or she may even be the girl of your dreams, but the cold fact still remains-- you're in the friendship zone with her and once you are in this zone, not even a blessing from Lord Shiva can lift you out of it. The secret is to not ever get in the "friends zone" in the first place. You do this by asking women out. If you clearly state your intentions at the very beginning of your relationship, there will be no mistake in her mind which group of people to lump you in (the potential boyfriend group or the girlfriend group). Don't become another one of her girlfriends. It’s much better for a woman to know your intent than for you to be nebulous around. That just creates mixed emotions in her mind. The man of her dreams isn't someone she has mixed reactions about. Be bold, be yourself. Not every woman is going to like you, but they will all respect you, and that makes all the difference.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 Short answer: You can't, so don't bother trying. Go concentrate on the hundreds of millions of other awesome single girls available to you in this world. Long answer: No seriously, it’s next to impossible. You're wasting your energy even thinking about it. I know this girl might seem like "the one" or she may even be the girl of your dreams, but the cold fact still remains-- you're in the friendship zone with her and once you are in this zone, not even a blessing from Lord Shiva can lift you out of it. The secret is to not ever get in the "friends zone" in the first place. You do this by asking women out. If you clearly state your intentions at the very beginning of your relationship, there will be no mistake in her mind which group of people to lump you in (the potential boyfriend group or the girlfriend group). Don't become another one of her girlfriends. It’s much better for a woman to know your intent than for you to be nebulous around. That just creates mixed emotions in her mind. The man of her dreams isn't someone she has mixed reactions about. Be bold, be yourself. Not every woman is going to like you, but they will all respect you, and that makes all the difference. I agree with FMN. You have been friends with this girl for over 3 years, she has permanently placed you in the friendzone. You think she may have come off as flirtatious, but that's cause she knows you like her, and is to her harmless flirtation between friends; which in no way whatsoever lead to a relationship. Let her go. There's plenty of other women out there who are more than willing to reciprocate your feelings. But this girl will never do that. She's always with anther guy which equals emotionally unavailable, and it seems you've became the friend whose shoulders she can cry on.
gfto Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 There is absolutely no escape from the friend zone. None. Once a woman drops that F-word on you, just smile, disappear, and find a woman who wants to put you in the lover zone.
Lizzie60 Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 There is absolutely no escape from the friend zone. None. Once a woman drops that F-word on you, just smile, disappear, and find a woman who wants to put you in the lover zone. F-word.. do you mean f*ck? If so, I don't think he'll disappear.. Seriously.. I agree.. once you're in the friend zone, you rarely pass to the lover's zone.. maybe in extreme cases.. but don't hold your breath.. I say move on..
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