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its been tough we him gone now he has decided to go to london and austria to clear his head , he phones but only to speak to our daughter , so i know there wont be a change of heart when he returns . i dont know what to do anymore i know that he doesnt want me and yet i find it hard to think of a future that doesnt involve him in my life. im so tired mentally thinking of him and all the what ifs they go with it

 

what if he comes back what if he doesnt and so on , i cannot beleive this has happened to me he was so devoted until he had the affair now im just an inconvenience, i wish that there was a solution but either way we both lose. family is all i know and i cant seem to see myself getting on with my life, i wasnt a very outgoing person all my life and now at 39 the thought that i will have start all over again is overwhelming to me . i dont like bars or clubs my friends are all married and i dont make friends easily . im so lost and lonely i think of my husband even when im asleep and i dream that he will come back home but i know he wont. how will i go on .

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