Dill246 Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 Well, my ex and I have been dating for almost 1 year. We started last year on Valentines Day. We go to the same Highschool. She is a senior and i'm a Junior. She's 19 and Im 16. We had a really good relationship. We were in such great love. Everyone would always tell us that we looked so happy together and it was true. We would spend 5 out of 7 days in a week together. But about 5 weeks ago she broke up with me. She told me I became annoying to her and she said she didnt love me anymore. So me being stupid and on the first week of us being apart. I called and texted her and emailed her and told her I will change I love you Dont do this. All the things that a guy shouldn't do. Because what it did was push her farther away. She got fed up with me trying to talk to her that she said she didnt want to see me or speak to me again. Im over the "Going Crazy" stage. I cried everyday and night during the first 2 weeks. And I pray everynight still for the hope of her return. I tried talking to her at least once a week but she never responded. And on tuesday... I found out the most upsetting thing. She is starting to talk to her other ex again. I still love her. I dont want to sabotage her relationship if she is having one with her ex but I lover her and miss her to death. I want to call her and ask her if she wants to grab something to eat. When is the right time and what should I do or say? Please help
s_n_d Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 Im in the EXACT same situation as you. I know how bad it hurts sometimes. But it will get better. When did you two breakup? Its been four months since my ex and I broke up and three out of the four months have been absolutely terrible but the last month has been amazing. I have realized that I dont need him. Someone who loves or cares about you would NEVER ignore you. Hes was my first REAL love. We HAD something special and if its meant to be, we will find our way back to eachother. You need to let it be.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 You might not like this answer but it is true: You can't ask her out. No matter how much good intentions you have for her and want her back in your life, she will not accept your plea to get back with you nor will she want to go out with you again. Harsh isn't it? But it's all obvious from your post. The thing is that you've shown her consistently through out the relationship, and even afterwards that you're CLINGY. Yes CLINGY. WHY, you ask? She broke up with you because of it. And then you went ahead with your barrage of texts, and ims and whatever way you can at contacting her, the basic image that's now with her is: You're a psychopath. So now it's pretty obvious, she's ignoring you, whether in school or where ever else you guys crosses paths. LEARN TO LET GO. I know you can't help the way you feel, but she's moved her. Her being friendly with her ex is a sign that she's not holding on to the past. Especially if she's a senior and you a junior. She's probably graduating this year I assume? I say you've cut your losses. Because if she hadn't broken up with you, she'd have to eventually in the future, when she goes away to college. No way would she want to hold on to anything that reminds her of high school. Be positive, it is not the end of the world. Take it as a life lesson that we all have to experience heartbreaks during our lifetime. The best thing for you right now is NC because seriously, you need alot of healing right now.
Author Dill246 Posted March 1, 2008 Author Posted March 1, 2008 We broke up about 5 weeks ago. Yeah I deffinetly tried being way to clingy. The thing is though is that she is going to County College and it's only about 10 mins away from our town. Idk. I will get over it. I guess your right. I'll heal hopefully. But we did have something going for eachother and maybe we will find ourselves together in the future who knows. I still have strong feelings for her. But it is starting to get easier as weeks pass. Thanks a lot
xpaperxcutx Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 We broke up about 5 weeks ago. Yeah I deffinetly tried being way to clingy. The thing is though is that she is going to County College and it's only about 10 mins away from our town. Idk. I will get over it. I guess your right. I'll heal hopefully. But we did have something going for eachother and maybe we will find ourselves together in the future who knows. I still have strong feelings for her. But it is starting to get easier as weeks pass. Thanks a lot It's understandable. You did scared her away, but I think that if you give it enough time you'll realize that you can move on. Who knows? maybe she might want to be friends again in the future, just not anytime soon.
Max Overclock Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 LEARN TO LET GO. Truly, the most important lesson that any man has to learn in his lifetime. No one girl is worth a man's self worth and self respect. There are many other wonderful women to choose from. Adopt a philosophy of abundance, and things will go better. All the best, Max
Author Dill246 Posted March 1, 2008 Author Posted March 1, 2008 Thanks a lot everyone. I think I'm going to sitck with the NC. Maybe she will miss me...who knows...but it is time to move on.
Author Dill246 Posted March 3, 2008 Author Posted March 3, 2008 You know what I experienced with "Angel Moy" (My Angel) It's Russian..She was Russian and taugh me a lot of things to say in Russian.That just made me smile thinking of that. I always called her that or "Kroshka" (My Little One). See I can't stop thinking about her . And the thing is I don't want to stop thinking about her. I always have this picture of her in my head...man is she beautiful... on the inside and outside. I always told her every little detail of the things that she does that makes me so happy...the littlest things. I told her this one thing when she broke it to me. "I'm going to wait, even if it takes the rest of my life." I will always love her and it's true. I bought her this braclet on X-mas and I had something special engraved on it..it said "Always" and I told her that I will always love her no matter what. And till this day it's true. But the good thing is I still go out and have fun..Me thniking of her will not stop me from having fun still..I'm not going to be depressed the rest of my life you know. Slowly i'm trying to get myself to get her to be attracted to me again. Like I've been taking care of my body by working out. And also the number one thing is I thought about all the things that she got mad at me for and I changed myself for her. And the thing is I know I changed. I know I am different. I know and I have that confidence in me that I did change. The reason why I want her back is because I was so very happy when we were together. We had so much fun together wheather it be at her house laying down, cuddling talking, watching tv, falling asleep together. And I always whispered this one thing before we ever fell asleep. I told her that I love her everytime we slept together. I don't know maybe I am too young for her. Maybe i'm not mature enough, maybe I'm not a man enough. But I sure as hell know that I changed. And I want her to see the change in me. I do want to contact her sometime and say "hey you want to go out to eat or get coffee with me someday?" I really thought we had a strong connection. And we always said this to eachother at times that in the beginning when we started talking we never thought we would ever date, but look we went for a year strong.. and maybe I got to comfortable..I don't know but I really love her. I haven't loved her less. Everyday everyday I think about her. I really would like for us to heal our relationship we once had and go back to the beginning. I don't know how to express it enough. There are so many things I want to tell her....
xpaperxcutx Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 You know what I experienced with "Angel Moy" (My Angel) It's Russian..She was Russian and taugh me a lot of things to say in Russian.That just made me smile thinking of that. I always called her that or "Kroshka" (My Little One). See I can't stop thinking about her . And the thing is I don't want to stop thinking about her. I always have this picture of her in my head...man is she beautiful... on the inside and outside. I always told her every little detail of the things that she does that makes me so happy...the littlest things. I told her this one thing when she broke it to me. "I'm going to wait, even if it takes the rest of my life." I will always love her and it's true. I bought her this braclet on X-mas and I had something special engraved on it..it said "Always" and I told her that I will always love her no matter what. And till this day it's true. But the good thing is I still go out and have fun..Me thniking of her will not stop me from having fun still..I'm not going to be depressed the rest of my life you know. Slowly i'm trying to get myself to get her to be attracted to me again. Like I've been taking care of my body by working out. And also the number one thing is I thought about all the things that she got mad at me for and I changed myself for her. And the thing is I know I changed. I know I am different. I know and I have that confidence in me that I did change. The reason why I want her back is because I was so very happy when we were together. We had so much fun together wheather it be at her house laying down, cuddling talking, watching tv, falling asleep together. And I always whispered this one thing before we ever fell asleep. I told her that I love her everytime we slept together. I don't know maybe I am too young for her. Maybe i'm not mature enough, maybe I'm not a man enough. But I sure as hell know that I changed. And I want her to see the change in me. I do want to contact her sometime and say "hey you want to go out to eat or get coffee with me someday?" I really thought we had a strong connection. And we always said this to eachother at times that in the beginning when we started talking we never thought we would ever date, but look we went for a year strong.. and maybe I got to comfortable..I don't know but I really love her. I haven't loved her less. Everyday everyday I think about her. I really would like for us to heal our relationship we once had and go back to the beginning. I don't know how to express it enough. There are so many things I want to tell her.... To be honest, I love the way you're going through this thing. Your attitude is immensely applauded. Clearly you have a good mindset and I know that should you ever decide that you're ready to be able to contact her again without resentment on her part, she will notice those changes you mentioned, and will probably fall for you again. In the meantime, you can try getting a journal as an outlet for all these emotions and feelings you have. I've found writing to be very therapeutic, and I'm sure it will be for you, also.
Author Dill246 Posted March 5, 2008 Author Posted March 5, 2008 To be honest, I love the way you're going through this thing. Your attitude is immensely applauded. Clearly you have a good mindset and I know that should you ever decide that you're ready to be able to contact her again without resentment on her part, she will notice those changes you mentioned, and will probably fall for you again. In the meantime, you can try getting a journal as an outlet for all these emotions and feelings you have. I've found writing to be very therapeutic, and I'm sure it will be for you, also. Thank you very much. I think I'll give it another week. Maybe next friday because I took off of work that weekend. And making a journel sounds really good. I am going to start that tonight. What happens if she refuses to see me though? What should I do then?
xpaperxcutx Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Thank you very much. I think I'll give it another week. Maybe next friday because I took off of work that weekend. And making a journel sounds really good. I am going to start that tonight. What happens if she refuses to see me though? What should I do then? I think that next week would be kind of rushing it. It's best you go thru NC for the time being to heal. Like I said, starting a journal is good to let your emotions come out in a more positive way. You're still hanged up on her even though you admit you're not gonna let her get to you. I say, worry about school right now, and focus on the things that requires your attention: education and yourself. Let some time passby, and when you feel you can actually face her without having a relapse of emotions towards her, that's when you know.
Author Dill246 Posted March 6, 2008 Author Posted March 6, 2008 I think that next week would be kind of rushing it. It's best you go thru NC for the time being to heal. Like I said, starting a journal is good to let your emotions come out in a more positive way. You're still hanged up on her even though you admit you're not gonna let her get to you. I say, worry about school right now, and focus on the things that requires your attention: education and yourself. Let some time passby, and when you feel you can actually face her without having a relapse of emotions towards her, that's when you know. Well. When should I contact her? And what should I do if she refuses to see me? Everyday that I see her in school she becomes more beautiful as everyday passes. I lover her. I was so happy. We were happy. I miss this girl so much. I miss the old times.
Author Dill246 Posted March 10, 2008 Author Posted March 10, 2008 Well their is somewhat of good news. We kinda started talking again now, very lightley though. Just like a how are you. Light stuff. We kinda became friends. She said that me and her can be friends. Well after I asked her. So what should I say or do. I still have strong feelings and I love her and I miss her. I need advice on what to do next.
Max Overclock Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 We kinda became friends. She said that me and her can be friends. Not a good sign. Go extreme no contact and quickly if you ever want to even have the chance of being with her again. Better still ... find another girl. There are lots of nice people out there. God's speed, Max
Author Dill246 Posted March 10, 2008 Author Posted March 10, 2008 Well today we talked and and I asked her if were ever going to hang out. She said if you want to we can. Then I said well I don't want this to be one sided if we hang out. She then said well i dont really want to but it seems you want to soo. I told her nevermind then because i will feel awkard you know. And after she saw me in the hallway we said hi. She texts me and said well we can hang out i really dont care we can do whatever. then i said ok you want to go out to eat. She said sure ill let you know when im free. I think this is a good sign. Maybe she got attracted to me again. Idk i have been taken care of my body and mind by working out hanging out with friends and changing the way i am around her. But when we do go out for dinner what should I do and say?
Belkin Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I bought her this braclet on X-mas and I had something special engraved on it..it said "Always" and I told her that I will always love her no matter what. Nice idea! I'll keep it in store for the next gf About your dinner, don't get your hopes up too much, better be prepared for her to state clearly that she just wants to be friends... If that's not the case, well you'll be one lucky guy! Good luck, keep us updated
Author Dill246 Posted March 10, 2008 Author Posted March 10, 2008 Nice idea! I'll keep it in store for the next gf About your dinner, don't get your hopes up too much, better be prepared for her to state clearly that she just wants to be friends... If that's not the case, well you'll be one lucky guy! Good luck, keep us updated Yeah. She loved the braclet. It's a good thing to get. Anyway i'm just happy I am going to finally see her. I don't know but I hope we get back together. Who knows. It probably wont happen but im just really happy I am going to spend time with her. What should I say during our time together??
xpaperxcutx Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Yeah. She loved the braclet. It's a good thing to get. Anyway i'm just happy I am going to finally see her. I don't know but I hope we get back together. Who knows. It probably wont happen but im just really happy I am going to spend time with her. What should I say during our time together?? Don't overwork yourself by thinking too much into this. Sorry to say but I entirely do not think you're ready to see her. She just wants to be friends, but you clearly have other intentions for meeting her. You're still hung up on her, and it might come off as desperation if you let your guard down.
Author Dill246 Posted March 11, 2008 Author Posted March 11, 2008 Don't overwork yourself by thinking too much into this. Sorry to say but I entirely do not think you're ready to see her. She just wants to be friends, but you clearly have other intentions for meeting her. You're still hung up on her, and it might come off as desperation if you let your guard down. I'm just going to be myself. I'm not going to throw it out right off the bat and say oh i still love you and I want you back. I'm going to take it as just a catch up date. I'm not going to go into the point right away. She told me we can "talk" when we go out to eat. Honestly I don't know if that means about us or just talk, like i said a catch up date. Who knows but i'm not going to throw all my cards on the table. Slowly I will get myself attracted to her again.
Max Overclock Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 She said if you want to we can. Then I said well I don't want this to be one sided if we hang out. She then said well i dont really want to but it seems you want to soo. I told her nevermind then because i will feel awkard you know. And after she saw me in the hallway we said hi. She texts me and said well we can hang out i really dont care we can do whatever. then i said ok you want to go out to eat. She said sure ill let you know when im free. I think this is a good sign. Maybe she got attracted to me again. Dill ... re-read the above, noting the emphasized parts. Three words for ya ... COMPLETE NO CONTACT. Do it today. Find another woman after working on issues of self esteem and inner strength. I fear you're placing all your eggs in one basket with this girl. All the best. Max
lilediselec Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 yo dill same sit u in bro. im 20 my girly is 18 we where going out from her sop n my sen to college. and the same shiat happend to me bro. yo this is what i did first week same thing txtd the crap out her and called her and it pushed her away, by the way she broke up with me valentines day lol. so after the first week, i stopd completely for 2 weeks. and then monday cuz we go to the same college she wantd 2 see me after class so we met up at a special place we used to go. dude btw high school **** also will get in the way her friends if they r single plays a big role. so we saw each other and we talked for 2 hrs just talking no fighting. after i still didnt call her or text her. she found out tht i had this condo down the ocean for the weekend, and well she wanted to come. so i told her i was gona have a party and she said she def wanted to come down with me. so we drove fri and of course my friends backed out so it was just me n her. the whole weekend we acted as bf and gf and im not going to lie it was great because. and i did the same thing as you but i got r initialls ingraved on the inside of her ring i gave her for her birthday. so i didnt call her when we got back then she wanted to go to the gym together so we went still acting like it was the weekend.(this is all this week) didnt talk to her on tuesday and she got worried that something happend to me and said she missed talking to me. wed. we went to lunch and she said that she missed me and over the weekend was the greatest love making we ever made and that she loves me so much and kissed me. afterwards we each went to work and i sent her a coup pics from the weekend and she put them up on her facebook. now today thurs we going back to lunch we talkd this morning and we r going to the gym fri and goin to a club later tom night. so i guess what im trying to say is that if she really loves you **** will always go back to the way things were. it takes some time and its hardbut you cant always talk to her and if you see her in the hall way pull ur phone out act like ur txtng and if she says hi ignore her. trust me man she will send u a txt saying y didnt u say hi to me, say i was txting. n knowin what my girl would say "who" say thats not ur business anymore. it sounds like it would back fire i thought it would my ex gf told me lol but it works man. if they knw ur doing fine w.o them and find ur hanging with other girls it triggers something in a girls mind and makes the very jel. which is what you want. she still call n txtn u more. then its up to you to do what you want. me i am going for it cuz my girly is everything to me dude just like you ive given her everything a lot of first for both of us together, and i just feel like its right. so dude hang in there trust me **** will work out.
lilediselec Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 yo dill maybe me n u r to freakin young lol or maybe things just work dif for dif people i think this din date just act as a good friend if you drive open close the door for her going into the joint open the door pull the chair out unless booth then let her choose ask her do u mind if i sit next to you. if she lets u sit next to her like mine did she put her hand on my mine then i put my other over her shoulder so... i mean i know we arent done its just going to take a **** load of time lol. but ask her gen things like whos work been going, hows ur classes, just gen little things strike up convo. u know. then when she starts asking about u i told mine that i have been going to the gym everyday for 2 hrs and she said she could tell that i lost weight and i look bulkier lol which was good to hear. told her that i was doing good in school that i pulled my grades up a lot from c to b n b to a, and that made her happy because she told me i need to start doing school on my own shed always help me cause im lazy with school. so really think about the little things that will make her happy like a special place you guys ate at, something with meaning. trust me they will care dude, they might not act like it but they do. maybe make a cd (something else i did lol) with a couple songs you guys like dancing to i know my girlys was some usher and ying yang twins so i put some of that on there couple suggestions if i may new usher love in this club, something you forgot lil wayne, one call away chingy. but it really depends on what you guys like but if you need anything man just let me know good luck bro pullin for you.
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