Ariadne Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 I have two tidbits of contrary relationship wisdom running through my head: Relationships are about compromise. Don't go into a relationship expecting your partner to change. So where's the boundary between trying to find a compromise and trying to change somebody? No. People only change when something dramatic happens to them. Say, they are in an accident and lots of people die, they lose someone close, or some other situation. It has to be some sort of force. And in a relationship you can't love some parts of someone and some others you don't. When you love someone you love him all the way, as if he were God. If you don't then you don't love.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 People can and do change. Sometimes, it takes a change of scenary for this to happen. It's easy to get stuck in a rut and not see the larger picture. Some of us have negative behavioural traits that we never really address b/c those around us accept it and don't challenge us to deal with it. However, sometimes, you do come across a situation or person that challenges you to question yourself in a constructive way. The rest of course is up to you. Do you want to change? Is it possible to change? Sure we have core values and traits that may never change...but most of our personality and personal profile is constantly evolving (albeit on a small scale). But really, one cannot change if one doesn't want to. Changing yourself (whether it be some substance issue or a personality trait) is hard. Most of all, it requires motivation (which comes in different forms for different people). I personally have undergone a great deal of change in the last year or so and continue to re-evaluate myself. Is this fickle, temporary stuff? I don't know. What I do know is that I've come to a point where I'm sincerely questioning the motives behind my words and actions... Nothing is static. Change is possible.
mental_traveller Posted March 5, 2008 Posted March 5, 2008 I have two tidbits of contrary relationship wisdom running through my head: Relationships are about compromise. Don't go into a relationship expecting your partner to change. So where's the boundary between trying to find a compromise and trying to change somebody? I'd say about 95/5 against compromise. People generally can't change willingly, so you'd better like what you see from day #1.
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