ashieannie Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 Yesterday was three monthes from the day we broke up and we both have done the No Contact thing since then. How about you folks? Is it getting easier for everyone, because I know it is for me I haven't cried for a couple weeks and when I think of him most of the time i don;t miss him, but I do think about him everyday!
tonyeltiger Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 *sigh* 6 days today. Tomorrows the week mark. It has been tough, but I have had maybe 2 good days lol.
Cool Chick Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 It's been a little over a month for me. At first it was painful yet liberating. I had just lost nearly 300 lbs after all Seriously though, it was very painful at first. I missed him, but at the same time I did not miss the way he treated me. I think what I'm trying to say is I missed who he used to be. I miss those fun, exciting days where we would go out fishing, or go on ATV rides. That was fun. The last 8 months though were not that great. It's like he lost interest and his friends were suddenly more interesting. He wouldn't let me go though, but we wouldn't do anything fun anymore either. He would literally ditch me to go off and do other things with his buddies. He was also consumed with his ex. He would always moan and groan about how 'hard' she was on him. He complained she was a liar and he felt she had probably been seeing someone behind his back. Wait a minute....he is also a liar and a cheater! Wow....he sure didn't like to be treated the way he treated others.....how ironic is that?? Going NC was such a relief to leave that black hole of need and negative emotion behind. The problem is, I still miss the good times and I get mad at myself for letting him treat me like dirt near the end, and mad at myself that I let him. Cool Chick
XxBacktoBlackXx Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 Well, I am not trying to go NC with an Ex but with someone that treated me horribly, nonetheless. So far, it has been about 3 days. I know that's horrible but I am determined to cut this person from my life.
sedgwick Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 (edited) Today is my 6 month NC anniversary! Never thought I could do it, but I have. I guess it's getting easier. I still love him and would still take him back in a heartbeat, but if he doesn't want to talk to me, so be it. I love him enough to give him a life free of me if that's what he wants. Edited February 29, 2008 by sedgwick
Author ashieannie Posted February 29, 2008 Author Posted February 29, 2008 Nice job everyone! It does really get easier and I don't remember what person just posted it, but they said they miss him the way he was, like at the beginning of the relationship. Totally me also. After our first fight in October he told me the newness wears off, and we started dating in Jan. so not even 10 mos. of dating he told me that. So Yeah I'm happier now then I was at the end of the relationship!
XxBacktoBlackXx Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 Great job everyone! I think it's amazing that we can decide what is best for us and follow through.
Crestfallen_KH Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 Just over three months for me. I was keeping track of the exact days, but my therapist suggested that it might be just another way to keep me connected to him. So, once I hit the 3-month mark, I stopped recording how many specific days it's been. For those just starting, it does get easier. I have absolutely no flippin' idea what he's doing now and that's very, very liberating.
dfreeman Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 So Yeah I'm happier now then I was at the end of the relationship! This is so damned true it almost hurts!
mistie03 Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 It's been 6 weeks. I have good days and bad days. I just wish everything could have been different. I just can't go on loving someone that doesn't care about me. He wouldn't break up with me, he just acted like he didn't care. I knew it was time to face reality. There still hasn't been a conversation where "It's Over" has been said, he just stopped calling me when I told him that I was upset with his uncaring ways and his disappearing. So wierd!!!
spookie Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 It's been 8-ish months since I've seen him. 7 since I started NC. I HAVE broken it though. I sent him an email apologizing for some things and telling him I was ready to be friends (I am) a few months ago. And he broke it about a week ago with an IM. We had our first conversation. It's gotten better. Right now my dominant nightmare is that I'll never see him again, but I don't really want him back anymore. I really just want to be friends.
s_n_d Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 One month NC today. Im so proud that Ive come this far. Good job with the NC everyone!! Keep at it.
dfreeman Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 One month NC today. Im so proud that Ive come this far. Congrats on one month...I don't really get NC anniversaries - by the time I get done dealing with the mandatory contact about the buyout of our house, I will be so over her that I won't even need NC. I can tell from your posts that you have a great heart and there will guys lined up once it has healed! dfree
flosslight Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 Four days. I have done limited contact so far. I think it has helped me more to be in contact. We usually only saw each other like one every two weeks but seriously it has helped to talk to him. He has annoyed me and been selfish and it has shown me that I do not want to be with him. He is still nice as well but when you just get the annoying part and not the loving as well, it makes things more clear. I have decided I cannot be friends with him right now so I'm going NC for a while. I choose 3 months but it can go longer or shorter. It feels different because I'm not fighting myself to not call him. I just do not want to. There would be no point.
Issues & tissues Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 Limited (he contacted me 3 or 4 times) NC for a month. I think that once he has picked up the last of his stuff from the apartment then it will be complete NC for me after that. I'm moving on no matter what. I even forgot it was his birthday on the 27th of last month until it popped up on facebook - I take this as a very healthy sign - although he forgot my birthday every year for 10 years *sigh*. Go figure.
CrudeMood Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 A week can seem like forever! But when ever urges come to call or contact her, I hit the gym and work out till I don't know whats what.
shute Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 8 years... i still have a hard time everyday forcing myself not to contact her again and i still can't see anyone passed her.
SarahT111 Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 73 days Worst 73 days of my life I miss you and im sorry
jc Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 I just realized while reading this post, it is now 6 months today! I NEVER thought I could 6 months without speaking to him/seeing him, etc. But it's been half a year already, wow. I still think about him everyday, but I know that nothing will ever change with us. We will never make it work. At least his absence means that there is room for someone new and wonderful in my life. I'm trying very hard to live from the principle of love as a behavior, not a feeling.
openingup Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 It's been a month and I feel like a new person. It DOES get better and it gets better much more quickly if you change your mindset. Stop being sad and obsessed and GET ANGRY. This person treated you badly and the response shouldn't be tears, but indignation. Hard to miss someone when you start wanting to slash his tires, LOL.
Author ashieannie Posted March 2, 2008 Author Posted March 2, 2008 Do you guys ever want to talk to them, even though you truly don't want them back? Cause I do just to know how they are and I'm totally genuine about that!
richardcruz Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 I am a month and few days/weeks in NC. I have told myself that I neeed to stop counting the days now because it just adds to my obsession over my whole breakup. Is it easier now? Personally it has gotten just a tad easier, but its definitely not a walk in the park yet. I have been sick this whole weekend with a cold and had to stay home. I guess at this point, you start getting used to being alone. The urge to make contact though is still there unfortunately. I cant wait to get to a point where this whole thing is out of mind and seems distant. I do notice improvement in me a month and some into NC, but I wouldn't say things are easy now.
Issues & tissues Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 (edited) Do you guys ever want to talk to them, even though you truly don't want them back? Cause I do just to know how they are and I'm totally genuine about that! As for me, I wish he would stop contacting me. I really don't see why he needs to hear my voice, know how I am or know anything at all about me. He broke up and walked out on me and as far as I am concerned he chose to lead a life without me, then so be it. And I really am no longer interested in knowing what is going on in his life whether he be happy or sad. He is out of my life. I may have had no say in his leaving but I am bloody well damned sure that he will never be part of my life again. I believe I am now going through the anger stage where I have stopped blaming myself or beating myself up for not doing more and instead focusing on his shortcomings as a lover and a friend. What I see now is someone who lied to me, cheated on me, betrayed me, disappointed me, hurt me and let me down so many times I have lost count. And those are not good credentials for someone who I thought loved me and was a "friend". Therefore, friendship with my ex is not an option and is totally out of the question. Ah, I feel so much better now that I have had that off my chest. Edited March 2, 2008 by Issues & tissues
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