LosingMyDreamGirl Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 I have 2 questions to be answered in this thread, if I could please. First one is this: I met a woman Tuesday. I talked to her for about 25 minutes about business stuff (met her through my job) and then asked her (after what seemed like her maybe being attracted to me) if she would like to go out this weekend. She did not hesitate in answering, so I know that was good. I then asked for her phone number (already had her name from the business discussion) and she gave it to me. I had askd her if she had a boyfriend and she said no, but had just gone through a separation with her boyfriend. (not sure how soon, did not ask) I also mentioned to her that I have a son and she told me she had 2 sons (around my son's age). I planned on asking her last night if she would have liked going out on Saturday night. I was going to call around 6 pm. My boss came in and asked me to go a nice area of town to look for a computer for his daughter, that he would be paying for the trip and my time, so I figured that since one of my favorite restaurants was up there, I would invite this new girl. So I called her (around 4pm) and asked her if she would like to go and told her I was sorry that it was so short notice. She said she had other plans so I told her it was ok, maybe something this weekend. She then said that if she were able to go, she would have to find a sitter. I told her it was ok, that it was no worry. She said let me see if I can find a sitter and I will give you a call back. Around 6:30, she still had not called me back and I needed to leave around 7, so I called her. No answer. I was not sure if she had not got my number on her cell phone (it shows up as unknown on some phones), so I called 1 more time at 7. She answered and said she was sorry for not calling back, but she was busy, had a to work a tad later than normal (she cuts hair for a living... and had laughed that she could cut mine) and she was still in her work clothes and by the time she found a sitter and got ready, it would be too late. I told her this was fine and then asked her if Saturday would be better. She said she had not received her schedule yet. I asked her if she knew what it might be like and she said she probably wouldnt get off of work until 6:30. So i asked her if her schedule allowed, if Bowling and Dinner be ok and she said it sounded like fun. I asked her what would be a good time to call; 5? and she said she might still be on the floor. So I said that it might be better if she called and she said ok. My question is this. Was my calling her on last minute to go out (on a weeknight) a bad idea? If it was, would it/could it ruin my chances with her for a weekend date? I had all intentions of playing it cool and asking her out for this weekend, but this place I would be traveling to was 45 minutes away and it is a great restaurant. I did not want to pass up the chance especially since I was getting paid for it. Second question is this: I have had this happen before. Maybe its me. I am still learning this dating crap since I never did this when I was younger. I have no problem getting a girls phone number. Its the fact that when i call, sometimes they dont answer and when i leave a voicemail, they never call back. Why even give your phone number (your real one), if you have no intentions of even talking to the guy?
Tincup Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 I don't think there was anything wrong with calling her last minute. If you want to date a women with kids you just have to understand that they might not be available last minute. You have kids so you should understand that. The fact that she is taking your calls is a good thing. I am not one to give advice like this since I have similiar issues myself but try not to analyze every thing. If she is willing to talk with you and willing to go out with you then she wants to see you. Relax and enjoy.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 Maybe calling her that first time on a short term notice was kind of rushing it a little. You don't know her that well, and have only associated with her through work, so it's apparent that you're already trying to incorporate her into your life. That might be moving too fast, as she's a single woman taking care of her kids and working at the same time. Don't give her the impression that you're trying to smother her, especially as you both have not gotten to the point where its absolutely comfortable to discuss personal issues. But since you've already made that mistake, learn to have a bit more restraint on those phone calls of yours. And personally, try not to make it seem you're incorporating her into your schedule ( that restaurant near where your boss is sending you), but make it so that you're accomodating to her time and needs.
Star Gazer Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 You met her on Tuesday, called her last minute the very next day (three times), and then asked her question after question about Saturday... In all, I'd say you came across as quite pushy at best, and desperate at worst. I'd let her make the next call. Next time, ask IN ADVANCE. If she doesn't know what her schedule is like, or has some other reason for not being able to say yes right then and there, say, "Okay cool, well give me a call by [fill in the day beforehand, for example] if you'd like to go." Don't call her again to follow-up. If she's interested in going out, she'll call you and let you know.
Author LosingMyDreamGirl Posted February 29, 2008 Author Posted February 29, 2008 You met her on Tuesday, called her last minute the very next day (three times), and then asked her question after question about Saturday... 2 days later. I was only asking about the restaurant because i do not eat there much and did not want to eat alone. And had no one else to ask. I guess that could be taken as desperate. Oh well, live and learn.
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