JackJack Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 I will agree ... but ... There are others who, after years of rejection, not having their own emotions needs met, start to look elsewhere. Selfish, perhaps, but walk a while in my shoes before condemning. Thank God I have not had an opportunity to "wander". If an opportunity arose, I hope I would do the right thing, but I'm not sure I would have the strength to resist the "selfish" desires. I feel you paint too broad a stroke Thanks. People see things differently. I see it as being selfish, period. If you do not, that is you, and nothing wrong with that. And while it might be best to walk a mile in someone elses shoes, I don't see that I need to do so, in order to have an opinon on that matter.
TechDude Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 I am open-minded (and curious) enough to hear your whole story and offer support. One day ... when I have the time. In the mean time, I'm sort of leaving bits of it all over the place in different threads here.
carhill Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 Actually, I was trying to find some connection between you and my husband in terms of personality, but I don't think you're similar. In any case, learning about you is very interesting. I dreamed my whole life about being a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Now I am going to law school. Matrimonial law?:D Seriously, consider yourself lucky that your husband and I apparently have disparate personality types. I can be maddening to live with, especially with all the "anticipating". As psychologist who used my wife as part of her doctoral thesis study apparently, upon meeting me, wished she had interviewed me first Good luck with your studies!
PandorasBox Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 There has NEVER been a time where I've thought, "I'll just not give him any tonight. THAT'll show the a-hole!" NEVER. Any time I've been turned off by the thought of sex is because of feeling bad over an unresolved argument or a recently inflicted hurt. You guys can call it "withholding" all you want, but really - just examine your recent behavior. You might figure it out. Women just don't particularly feel "loving" towards a man who behaves like a jackass. I agree. When I was married, I didn't particularly feel loving and wanted to have sex with my H when he had called me names or was hateful acting. Sorry, but that just doesn't do it for me, or get me in the mood. If people want to call it "withholding" they can. If I "withheld" from my H it was due to his lack of respect for me, by acting like an ass. If he felt it was a form of a punishment, then I guess it was. I felt it was form of punishment when he "withheld" his affection and respect because he he seemed to like getting off to being a jerk towards me more than anything. But yet thought he was still entilted to some poon tang! LOL!! So, guess it worked both ways.
OpenBook Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 Is bad sex worse than no sex? I try never to use those two words in the same sentence. These stories I'm reading here are sending shivers down my spine. I am so glad I'm not married. Horrifying!!
sandflea Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 I'm just sayin... http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/03/03/sexless.marriage/index.html Timing.
twice_shy Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Well then how DOES the husband view her sexuality? If it's something he feels she "owes" him or that he's "entitled to," or he doesn't view it as something rare and precious, I can certainly see why she wouldn't want to give it up. And there are some husbands in those situations that think just that! That this is his wife, she should give it up on demand. Some men see marriage as a license for sex anytime they want and the wife all of a sudden becomes a f##k doll to be used for sex and forget about love and intimacy. Sounds like someone we know here.
Lovelybird Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 The more the husband wants sex, the more her sexuality becomes cheapened in her mind. Withholding it andf making her husband hanker for it all the time without giving in restores her sense of her sexuality being a precious diamond it once was. If husband make her feel she is a diamond to him just like newly wedded, not just a maid meet their husband's sexual needs 24/7, then she won't feel sex is cheapened. If husband doesn't meet her emotional needs, she is easily to feel sex is cheapened and she is used, not cherished, why is this so hard to get through men?
Recommended Posts