D-link Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 hi all, im in year 12 at school, and recently we had a school retreat where basicly your ment to open up and say what ever u want to say to anyone. Iv had trouble fitting in for aegis now, elaberating on that i have basicly no enimies just everyoine is an aquaintance to me not a real friend. I have about 3 real friends and thats it. Anyway at the retreat we were split up into groups and done various activitys. One of these was to pick out a peice of wool (had a large selection of wool) and to say a positive thing about their personality. So at the end of it everyone ended up with 9 bits of string and whatever the positive things that were said about them. Anyway every person said to me that i was kind and that i was there for people when thery had problems and needed someone to talk to (a lot of people are comfortable with opening up to me and letting me help them but i have no idea why). The problem is that as soon as their problems are sorted out they wont really talk to me again, and the people that dont open up to me, i can never become actual friends with. I thourght it was the people i was hanging around with so i spent around a week or 2 with all the different groups to see where i fitted in best, but in the end there was none they were all basicly the same. I just want to be able to make a coupple of friends and not loose the ones that i do become friends with. Sorry for the story but this along with other things have beein at me for a while now and i havent found a good community to share it with untill now. (P.S im a male if that makes any difference)
vintagecat Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 I'm going to bump this so hopefully someone will have some advice for you. One thing for certain, it's hard out there to make friends that are real and lasting. It's not all about what you bring to the table as far as you helping them. There has to be reciprocity and something for you in return or you're just their "counselor" and not necessarily a friend. How to achieve the state of give and take between friends, or to get a friendship to "take" is one of life's mysteries I have no answer to that riddle. Sounds like you might be fishing in the wrong pond though. Cat
Author D-link Posted March 3, 2008 Author Posted March 3, 2008 cheers for the reply. I geuss I've asked a hard question that ill proberbly have to answer myself. Thats life though.
MexicanBillBacker Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 I had the same problem all throughout my life. All throughout my life I was bullied for various reasons, lacked confidence, etc. I always looked at the popular kids with awe and never really had a group. I used to hang out with the weirdos at school things like that, but it never felt right. When 9th grade ended(HS in Mexico is 10th through 12th) instead of going to the HS close by I went to a HS across town. And now everything is working out perfectly...I'm one the most popular kid at school and have a ton of friends. I'm pretty popular in other HS's too being my main group that I hang out with goes to that very same HS I avoided. I guess the key was accepting who I was. Liking me for what I was, that gave me more confidence, and in turn I made more friends. I'm still working on some things though, its not all perfect but I'm doing it little by little and its good to say for the 1st time in my life everything is great.
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