8 year relationship with a woman...can I get out of the dreaded friendzone? read on

[MissingMyHubby]

MODERATORS....THIS IS ALSO POSTED IN GENERAL DISCUSSION, BUT I REPOSTED IT HERE SINCE THIS GETS MORE TRAFFIC. FEEL FREE TO DELETE THE MIRROR THREAD.

 

Long story short....

 

A friend of a girl who lived in my dorm 8 years ago, I became good friends with. From the start of our friendship, we had hung out a fair amount, and been occasional drinking buddies. I have never kissed her, but we have had some light caressing and such. (She has kissed my cheek a bunch though.) I have also had periods of 6 months without seeing her, and other times where I would see her 2-3 times a week. She has been through 3 long term boyfriends during those 8 years I had known her. She also just broke up with her boyfriend 10 days ago.

 

Moving forward..... She recently moved out of her parents house into a 1 bedroom apartment. She invited me over to hang out/go out. The thing with her is that I get the sense she has always needed an entourage around her for support, and now she is in a new area with no friends and I am the guy to call.

 

Anyways....we drink 3 beers before heading out. Drink a bunch and come back to her place. I immediately crash to the ground and she lands on me. After a few minutes, she goes to her bed and invites me in there. I take my clothes off leaving just my boxers and shirt on, she still has all her clothes on... We never kiss but I feel her up real well, her chest, and her crotchal region. She never allows me to fully "get her off" but she is meanwhile getting herself off with the aid of my simultaneous feeling her up.

 

We pass out, wake up the next morning, pretend it never happened. We go get some coffee with another friend of mine, and I spend a good deal of time figuring out a way to ask out the cashier (which I do but she has a bf.) I try to gauge the reactions of my 8 year friend and she looks at me quite a bit the time we are there (I was seeing if she was the slightest bit jealous.)

 

At any rate, a couple days later, she calls me and asks if I had fun with her and if I would like to hang out again soon. This is where is gets confusing. History has shown me with this girl that I always get let down, but on the flip side, I have never really asked her out.

 

I am supposed to take her to a house party tomarow. Do I continue to let things progress naturally? Do I assume it was a drunken slipup and it meant nothing? (She isn't a floozy.) Do I ask her if she would like to date? I really have no idea what to do....

[Gold Pile]

Having a female "wingman' that can help you pick up other women is great. Going by the bit about the cashier it seems she might be filling this role.

IF she's helping you in this area FREQUENTLY...keep things as they are.

 

Otherwise make your play!!!! I'm not advocating force or anything close.

She is comfortable with you and won't be scared if you nudge her limits some.

(by all means I defer to the thoughts of any female posters on that)

 

She sees you as a friend having fun with her but not as a man who desires her. Passing her "is he insane for me" test means revealing your lust for her.

 

Don't go to that party (other guys after her) make your play now.

If you must be verbal first, do it while holding her.

Lust isn't for friendly conversation, it's for action.

Plan little, see her as soon as possible (she's on the meat market now)

 

Worst case she doesn't want to be with you. At least you can stop this 8 years of second guessing.

[Replicant]

I spend a good deal of time figuring out a way to ask out the cashier (which I do but she has a bf.)

 

^^^ Gold pile had some great advice on this last week. If played right the response would have she's available