hopeful08 Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 After reading through this forum for the most part , I am trying to be positive but I do believe that I will not be able to wait much longer if things do not move forward soon, I suppose that this is premature, but has anyone moved on after one of these relationships and found sucess in another (available, I mean not really another, lol) mine has been six long year's, I guess I would like to think that this has not damaged me enough so that I am incapable of a normal relationship sometime in the future....... They are going to ask about your past marriage, boyfriends etc... Is this something that you just don't discuss? I guess this is a random question but I have given it some thought. Something that has effected your life for this long is hard to hide from someone . but just making reference an ex- boyfriend will invite questions, and I am not going to lie, as I believe in honesty in all relationships. Any thought's?
mclovin Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 I know plenty of people who have moved on to better people. You will find a relationship that is honest, stable and makes you happy. As far as telling your new partner your past history, it's good to be honest. Make sure you wait before telling your partner. Too much too soon is never good. ANd hey, I'm sure whoever you're with next will have a few skeletons in their closet as well. You'll be suprised how people leave out certain things/or re-arrange the truth of their history because they don't want to look bad to a new partner and watch their partner loose respect. Keep that in mind too!
Author hopeful08 Posted February 29, 2008 Author Posted February 29, 2008 Thank's for the advise, What's funny is a part of me is frustrated with the fact that my mm knows me very well (length of relationship) He has seen me at my worst, and at my best, and I him. Some of my behavior in the last six years should have caused him to cut it with me, (frustration with situation ect..) But he has not because he knows that the behavior is born from the difficulty of the circumstances. When he was out of work last year, he stayed unemployed for eight months and turned down two job's because they would not have "worked" for our circumstances, I know that he is/was committed to making it work, It is mainly me that can't take the social isolation that a relationship like this causes, face it you can't "tell" people about it.... Has a result of this I have only one close woman friend, and I keep my distance from everyone else for fear of judgment I guess. I have been involved with him for six of the seven years that I have lived at my present location, and to be honest, He is the only reason that I live here. Rural area, small town, I drive by his subdivision everyday on the way to work, So I will have to move in order to get on with my life. I wouldn't be able to otherwise.. What a mess, huh?
stampdaddy Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 This is something that I fear so much.. I mean, how do you explain, that I met the girl of my dreams, the love of my life, I WANTED TO MARRY HER, oh, but she was married, and it finally ran out of road for US... But hey! I am still single.. always was... wait, NO, I wasnt, I committed myself to her, and gave her my soul...... OR, Yeah, I dated a girl for almost 4 years, a married girl, and as I am continuing to tell the story, I hear the door SLAM!!
BetrayedMM Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 That may be a blessing in disguise. I think in a future potential relationship your choice of partner being capable of understanding and empathizing is probably something you should insist on anyway. The fact that you would be willing and able to confess something you aren't proud of is just about the best thing I can think of to build trust in a relationship. Admitting past mistakes shows you to be unlikely to repeat them.
White Flower Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 That may be a blessing in disguise. I think in a future potential relationship your choice of partner being capable of understanding and empathizing is probably something you should insist on anyway. The fact that you would be willing and able to confess something you aren't proud of is just about the best thing I can think of to build trust in a relationship. Admitting past mistakes shows you to be unlikely to repeat them. This makes sense to me. I would see the sincerity in the admitting of mistakes as valuable. I would also recognize how vulnerable the person was who was doing the admitting and know that it took guts to do it and they wouldn't do it if they didn't care or respect you.
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