jrobbies Posted July 3, 2003 Posted July 3, 2003 This past week, I've seemed to have a lot of attention on the guy front. I've never had a boyfriend, just b/c I'm so shy and picky. There are 2 parts to this story, so bear with me. If any one can give me some advice (I guess from a guy would be best, but anyways, here goes!) There's this guy that works in my bldg. I know of him from school. Anyways I saw him last week while I was playing frisbee at the park with some friends (he was with 2 of his friends). Anyways, I saw him out at a local club on Friday night, and he seemed to notice me. Different times during the evening, I would seem him and a friend looking in my direction (his friend is a girl, but I know they're not dating). I'm so paranoid! I was like "why would he be looking at me?did he hear something about me and is making fun?" The second part is a friend of mine is seeing this guy. We were at a concert and we met up with her new b/f and some of his friends. They seemed cool and at the end of the night my friend's b/f said we should come out to their apartment b/c all of his friends thought I was cute! I figured he was lying, b/c this type of thing had never happened to me before! So we went, and I didn't chat that much juts b/c I'm super shy, but then I saw them somewhere else the next night, and the same thing happened! The last few times I've been there, I'm still quiet, but I've been trying to open up more.Since Sunday, my 3 friends and I have been invited (through my friend's ex and his friends) to their apartment, and tonight we're meeting for trivia! I find it SO hard to tell if a guy is interested..... Should I pursue something? I don't want to b/c I'm scared of rejection, but at the same time, I don't want to play too hard to get. what to do? how do I find out more info w/o looking desparate?thanks!!!!
wideawake Posted July 3, 2003 Posted July 3, 2003 They're guys...if they're interested I think you'll know... Look for little hints. 1) Do they look at you. 2) Do they breathe 3) Are they alive If yes to any of the above then they're probably interested in something....now you need to find out who are the good ones and who are the 'players' that you should avoid. Good luck! How old are you/they?
beaker Posted July 3, 2003 Posted July 3, 2003 In a situation like this the only way to be 100% certain if a guy is interested is to take the initiative and ask him, but given the number of times you mentioned how shy you are I can understand how that might be too difficult. Given that fact, in your case you may never know what a guy is thinking until he approaches you directly and asks you out. Although not usually recommended, you can always do what many women do their whole lives, which is offer positive reinforcement to the guys they're interested in while waiting for them (and indirectly encouraging them) to ask them out. Smiles, hugs and other positive attention directed at them will make them confident their attentions are actually wanted; this is important because many men would never try anything with a woman unless they think there is some chance of success (I never would, anyway). Do not be worried about appearing too desperate because you smiled at someone!!! They will think you enjoy their company, NEVER that you're desperate! It's possible that you're still visibly uncomfortable and stand-offish in these unfamiliar social situations, which might be making them worry that discomfort is directed at them personally. That would delay any initiatives until they're a little more sure of where they stand, but it's nothing to worry about if you think you can get over it. In the meantime, it sounds to me like you've got yourself some new friends, some of whom may well be interested. Just go out with them and enjoy yourself without feeling any pressure to say or do anything spectacular to prove yourself. They want you to be there or they wouldn't have invited you! There's no need to jump through hoops for them, or be the life of the party. Try and have fun, and if you're interested in one of them, try to make him feel at ease to increase the chance he'll initiaite something.
zman Posted July 6, 2003 Posted July 6, 2003 Beaker is right. I think a lot of times when someone is shy, other people mistake it for being elitist or uninterested in their company. People always tend to assume the worst when there is a lack of information or communication available. You should just try to smile and be friendly, and joke and flirt around. Make the guys feel comfortable. If you act like you are having a good time and enjoying their company, they will be at ease and enjoy your company. If you smile, flirt and tease, somebody will probably get turned on and ask you out or something. Good luck!
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