YellowLioness Posted February 28, 2008 Posted February 28, 2008 I'm out into the world of singles again, and I've found myself getting attached to this one particular guy. He's smart. He's hilarious. And, he's got the dreamiest red hair EVER. He's also one of the most stand-up guys I've met in a very long time. Very refreshing. So, here's the issue: His ex girlfriend is still in the picture, as is her daughter. No, its not his daughter, but they were together for 5 years, so he pretty much is daddy to her. Now that he and the ex are over, he still sees the kid (whom he affectionately terms, "the little monster.") In fact, he gets her most every weekend. I'm not sure how often he sees the ex, but I'm sure its at least every time that she drops the little girl off. He's the one that broke the relationship off, and reassures me that he's no longer interested in having a relationship with the ex. But, he does miss the kid. My problem is that I'm not sure how to deal with this. If he was the little girl's father, I'd have an easier time understanding things. Has anyone else ever had to deal with this situation? To be honest, its pretty terrifying to me. I don't know how these things are supposed to work (right, like there is going to be some kind of manual out there for this). I'm worried that the ex will be in our lives forever, and its not even his kid. I'm worried that I'll have to deal with baby momma drama. I'm worried that I'll get attached to the kid. If I wasn't so interested in this guy, I would have cut and run. I don't like feeling this way. Maybe I should just run out, anyway. But, I mean, you can't let fear dictate life, though. And most of this probably centers around my own abandonment issues with how my parents got divorced when I was quite young (about the little monster's age, actually). Intellectually, I know this. The crazy thing is that this guy is just as into me as I am him. He's not looking for anyone to help him parent his ex's daughter. In fact, he doesn't want for us to meet for a long, long time. And I'm feeling that, totally, too. We have such a great time together. He feels right. But, now there's this elephant sitting in the living room. So, what say, guys? Ideas? Feel free to yell at me. I can take it.
LosingMyDreamGirl Posted February 28, 2008 Posted February 28, 2008 I think it says a lot about his character. I think its a good thing. if you trust the guy, then why should it bother you?
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