MeloraB Posted February 28, 2008 Posted February 28, 2008 (edited) Hi y'all! I just wanted to ask you guys something. Do any of you guys feel like you're putting your life on hold while waiting for your better half? This is something that has been bothering me for a while. This is my last semester at Uni and I feel like I could enjoy it a little bit more if I weren't in a relationship that due to circumstances had to become in a LDR for a few months. I just feel like instead of having a blast during my last semester, my life has turned into a countdown (By the way, only 8 weeks left before my baby comes back!!) I seriously don't know how people who have to be in a LDR without the prospect of being with your loved one for good in the near future do it! Hats off to ya! It's gotta take a very strong person to go through that! So, do any of you guys feel the same way or am I the only crazy one? The things you do for love... Edited February 28, 2008 by MeloraB
Lyssa Posted February 28, 2008 Posted February 28, 2008 I don't put my life on hold just because BF is in another country! I spend a lot of time with family and friends. I go out and have fun with them - jazz clubs, sports and a lot of other things. There is also work so that keeps me occupied. Yes, I believe you have to be strong to be in an LDR especially if you want it to work. BF will be joining me in a few months too so yeah, when that happens - I get to do all the 'couple' stuff!
TMichaels Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 (edited) Hi y'all! I just wanted to ask you guys something. Do any of you guys feel like you're putting your life on hold while waiting for your better half? This is something that has been bothering me for a while. This is my last semester at Uni and I feel like I could enjoy it a little bit more if I weren't in a relationship that due to circumstances had to become in a LDR for a few months. I just feel like instead of having a blast during my last semester, my life has turned into a countdown (By the way, only 8 weeks left before my baby comes back!!) I seriously don't know how people who have to be in a LDR without the prospect of being with your loved one for good in the near future do it! Hats off to ya! It's gotta take a very strong person to go through that! So, do any of you guys feel the same way or am I the only crazy one? The things you do for love... No, I don't think you're crazy, Melora. I think by their very nature, LDRs always involve an element of waiting. If you're not waiting until you can be together again, you're waiting for a phone call, IM, email or text. Throw in time differences, language barriers, or the fact you often don't have the benefit of reading a person's non-verbal signals to confirm what you thought you read or heard is correct, and you end up spending a lot of time waiting to clear up misunderstandings or to just plain, old "connect." If it's not that, it's waiting at the bus station, airport, or until one or the other of you have enough money to make the trip. Actually, the list is endless, if you think about it! <sigh> As you said, if the two of you haven't a plan in place to be with each other for real at some time in the future, the kind of sacrifice and patience required for most LDRs just aren't worth it for most. On the flip side, LDRs teach you patience, setting joint goals, the importance of good communication, trust and commitment. All very good things to base a long-term relationship on! I think the key to surviving "the waiting game" is balance. I know it's awful when you miss a phone call or IM, but on the other hand, it's not good to put your entire life on hold "just in case." It makes you a less happy and interesting person, and you could be missing out on opportunities to enrich your life that will never pass your way again. You only get one shot at life, so make the best of it, knowing that in just a short while your life will be even better with your loved one at your side. Only eight more weeks? You lucky devil! Most hear would give their right arm to be in your shoes. Enjoy! Best, TMichaels Edited February 29, 2008 by TMichaels
j_hunt_12 Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 Yeah LDRs suck. But you know, I dont mind my situation too much. I still go to clubs, parties, I just came back from a two day skiing trip, I go to a bar with friends every friday. I still enjoy life. The main difference is that I can't randomly hook-up with girls now and I can't search around for girlfriends. But it is not too hard to resist when you know your girl is the best anyways. When I am with her I'm happy, when I'm not, I'm glad to know I have someone waiting for me. I still really enjoy talking to her and can feel the connection every time. Right now she's at the beach having fun, and I'm waiting waiting waiting for an email when she gets back from vacation. then I'll be waiting a few months to see her again, then I'll be waiting a few years to be with her. But you know, life goes on and two or three years from now I'll be with a girl that is worth the wait. And no you are definitely not the only one... if you would have told me two years ago that I'd get into a LONG distance, long wait LDR I would have said you're crazy. things change...
audrey_1 Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 Sometimes I feel like I'm putting life on hold, and then I have to remind myself that my LDR is casual. We're not exclusive, so I can date other people and do whatever else I want. I would prefer he and I be in a committed relationship, but because he was so honest about not being ready, I'm trying to be patient and not push. If you're in college, though, I hesitate to say wait around for anything or anyone. You should be having the time of your life no matter what!
Author MeloraB Posted March 3, 2008 Author Posted March 3, 2008 Thanks for the replies, you guys! I just re-read my post and whoa, it sounds like I'm just sitting around looking at the calendar pages change . Nah, I mean, I'm still doing all the stuff that college students do. I go out every weekend, hang out with friends, go to the movies and all that jazz. I guess that my problem is WAITING to be able to do all those things with him, thus making it more enjoyable. And yeah, I'm so lucky that in eight weeks we're gonna be together for good . We decided that in December I'm going to Shanghai with him so we don't have to go through this again. Our problem was that due to circumstances our relationship HAD to turn into a LRD. We never saw it coming... The good thing about all this is that I'm able to just do my schoolwork without having him as a "distraction", and that he's in Shanghai brushing up in his Chinese (which he spoke not so well before leaving for China).
dancinggal Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Just wanted to say, I feel the same way. I have lots of friends, do lots of activities and work and study, but there is something missing and I hate it. Unfortunately, its like something is definately on hold. Not sure why, because I do everything I would have done if I was single, and I was happy single (except flirting. And accepting dates. Ok, lol, being single is fun!) I guess just grit your teeth and bare it. If its worth it, the end will be awesome. 6 weeks till I see my boy!!!
TMichaels Posted March 4, 2008 Posted March 4, 2008 I guess just grit your teeth and bare it. If its worth it, the end will be awesome. 6 weeks till I see my boy!!! Six weeks for me, too, dancinggal! Woo-hoo! Can hardly wait! Best, TMichaels
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