chenazah Posted February 27, 2008 Posted February 27, 2008 Hi guys, so i met my GF last night, had a really relaxed chat about whats been going on. Ive posted a few times about the problems that i was facing so wont bore you with them again! We both agreed that we have been moving to fast, both said and done too many nice things and seeing to much of each other. She said that she cares about me and that all we need to so is take things slowly ie not call each other all the time, not see each other all the time, which is perfectly cool with me as we both need our own space. I also mentioned our forthcoming holiday together and she said "not going on that never entered my mind, if i didnt want to be with you then i wouldnt be going". So im thinking great, i will play it cool until then, stop the calling and being nice all the time and leave her be for a while......... I just have this big red flag in the back of mind telling me in a way shes just leaving me as an option...why? because even though she has been separated from her husband for over a year they are not yet divorced. Now i have a nagging fear that "what if she actually misses him" and is trying to work things out with him while shes with me ie getting the best of both. Why do i say this? well i just have that feeling and can pick up on things pretty quickly ie what people say about there past relationships, and the fact that they are not legally divorced should probably play a large part. It would be different if she said "im over my ex, have been for ages and the divorce is going through" but she has never said anything remotely like that. Her words were in fact "its only a piece of paper". So am i being taken for a ride? is she having fun with me (removing herself from the problems with her marriage) until such time she feels she can then move back into it? I just dont want to come straight out and ask her as the chat was productive in other areas and dont want to spoil it. I also need a holiday:)
SeraBella Posted February 27, 2008 Posted February 27, 2008 Enjoy your holiday. Just take things one day at a time. You're a generous man, it seems she may be taking advantage of that. I know you don't want to lose her, but when red flags are popping up left and right and you can't forget about them, then something is probably wrong. It's possible she's not over her marriage...after 7 years you weren't over your relationship with her, so what's to say she's truly over her marriage now? But, she's not with him, she's with you. And your insecurities with that will follow you with ANY woman you date. Everyone has past boyfriends/lovers/etc...there's no way of knowing with 100% certainty anyone isn't over an ex.
Goodin Posted February 27, 2008 Posted February 27, 2008 When you are over your holiday and you feel the time is right and it won't kill the mood, why don't you just ask her? I think you have a right to know if she still has feelings for her soon to be ex-husband.
CaliGuy Posted February 27, 2008 Posted February 27, 2008 General rule of thumb. Believe 1/2 of what people tell you and 100% of what they show you. In other words, actions speak much louder than words.
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