SarahT111 Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Hey all! Desperatly need to vent! Think im going mad!!! I was doing ok for about four days straight and thought things were finally going to get better! Id slowly started to accept the situation although I absolutly hate it. Anyway after 2.5 months of the most gut wrenching pain of my life and my ex totally happy with a new girl and all my ex friends, I find out the new girl he left me for DUMPED him!!! When I found out I cried all night long as I finally felt the world wasn't out to get me and I felt better knowing he got just a small taste of his own medicine! I made the mistake of checking his internet pages and saw comments saying he thought it was going really well and was so upset she left. For a moment I felt ok then it started to bug me. I was with him for 2.5 years and he treated me like dirt! He flicked me away like a piece of garbage and went straight for this girl. He never once shed a tear over the end of our relationship and treated me so cruley and heartlessly! He smashed my heart yet couldn't have cared less and enjoyed rubbing this new girl in and hurting me. I began to take comfort from the fact that he has no heart and is so cruel and I don't want to be with someone like that! But now he is upset over being dumped by this 2.5month girl!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im so mad and hurt!! I know you must think im crazy but he really really hurt me when he flicked me away and couldn't have cared less after 2.5 years Now he is crying over someone else who was only around for 2.5 months What is so wrong with me that he could just not care at all?!!!?! How could he get over me in less than 24 hours and never talk to me again and move on happily with another girl without looking back!! Honestly im crying so much right now and I don't even understand why!!! I should be happy that he got a taste of his own medicine but it makes me feel even lower He really never cared about me To top things off ive been waiting all day for him to sms me. I just want him to try and come back so it looks like I did mean something!! This is just like the first day after the breakup where I waited and waited for him to change his mind and sms me but he never did Its strange when he dumped me and his previous gf he treated us like absolute crap. He flicked both of us away and shut us out of his life. He was cruel and nasty to and refused to talk or have anything to do with us as soon as he had dumped us. He also moved on the another girl asap and never once looked bak or shed a tear. He couldn't have cared less about how much he hurt us!! Anyway am I really crazy for feeling all this>????/? I just want this to be over!!!! I want him out of my head and I want to put it all behind me and move on but its alllllllllllllllways there!!! He is all I think about everyday no matter how HARD i try and this whole situation has bought him right back to my mind again. I cant help but hope he will contact me and apologize and show he has some emotion for me But i no he wont! Anyway thankyou so much for reading this (if you still are) Please leave a comment even if you don't know what to say! Its good to have someone to talk to as my friends are all sick to death of it by now!! Thanks!
latefragment Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 i'm sorry that reading that stuff made you feel so bad... i understand how you could feel so much pain, i have been feeling a lot of pain over a breakup too. i have been going to therapy and it's helped but only a little. i know you are going through a lot f pain right now. i'm sorry to hear that. hope that you can hang in there.
D-Lish Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Just remember that the first 3 months of a relationship are usually the most intense when it comes to feelings. He is also the one that got dumped this time- so he is dealing with REJECTION. It's harder to be rejected than be the rejector. Looks good on him. I hope that if he does contact you that you reject him too.
frd150 Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Just remember that the first 3 months of a relationship are usually the most intense when it comes to feelings. He is also the one that got dumped this time- so he is dealing with REJECTION. It's harder to be rejected than be the rejector. Looks good on him. I hope that if he does contact you that you reject him too. Ahh yes the honeymoon period. Butterflies,daisy's and bunnies:bunny:. Try your best to occupie your mind with anything you can as long as its legal. As they say "this to shall pass" and it will. Keep venting here and spare your friends cuz you need them.
Belkin Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Hey Sarah! Just checking in from an internet cafe, and what I read seems like great news! That'll teach him, haha! I wish my ex would get dumped likewise, but he's clingy so it won't happen Anyway I'm having a tough time too... She's still on my mind all day and all night long... I keep replaying in my head the best times we had together, and all that lead up to the breakup, it's maddening! I hoped being away from her would help, but it's definitely not the case so far! One day I'm ready to forgive her, the next I hate her, then I want to be friends again, then I want her back completely... And it goes on and on, all day, all night... Stay courageous Sarah, we'll get through this!
Author SarahT111 Posted February 27, 2008 Author Posted February 27, 2008 :mad:Hey Belkin (and everyone else) Ya I thought it would be great new to! But it seems to have made things worse again! He was upset over her, but never shed one tear over me. He was respectful of her and they remained friends but he was so cruel to me and now hates me And it just kind of hit that this guy really doesn't care for me AT ALL. after everything he has no emotions or feelings for me I feel like I wasted two years loving and doing everything I could for this guy Also now he is single I wait by my phone everyday for him to call or sms me But he doesn't. I am SOOO close to calling him and telling him how much I love him but I don't want to hurt anymore! Tell me its a bad idea please!!! I know he ABSOLUTLY hates and fears being alone but right now he would rather do that than be with me This hurts so much. So ya I thought her dumping him would be the magical key to getting over it but I was wrong! It doesn''t change what he did and it doesn't change that he does not love me It almost rubs it in further. So i guess you really do need to be careful what you wish for I wished I would meet someone else (like he did) and I thought that would magically take away the pain aswell. Well I did meet someone else but it just made it worse again. It made me miss him more and therefore hurt even more So what do I do now?! Your all going to write back and say that I need to move on, but how can I when im 100% in love with this guy? I want more than anything to move on but my heart aches everyday and I love him and miss him a bit more each day! Im seriously ready to give up! Ive tried EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why did I not realise how much I loved him untill it was to late??! Theres so much I wish I had said and done but its FAR to late Why is it always like this?! I thought I would be ok without him as he was treating me like crap but im not I miss him and love him soooooooooooo much and just want to tell him Why am I sooo attached to this guy when the realtionship wasn't all that great What he did was inexcusable yet him hurting me made me love him more?! Whats wrong with me!!!!!!!!!!!! Am i mad!? I have nothing left to wish for, I have no hope, I have a broken heart and I live with regret that this guy doesn't know truly how much I love him. Your thoughts...
dfreeman Posted February 27, 2008 Posted February 27, 2008 So what do I do now?! Your all going to write back and say that I need to move on, but how can I when im 100% in love with this guy? I have been telling my friends this little joke all the time... "I'm in love with a woman I can't stand" It gets a good chuckle from them, but just reminds me of how much I think like your quote sometimes. Luckily for me, those times are fading as the weeks go by. I have no idea why I sit around pining over a woman that for most of the last year, couldn't stand spending time with??? I guess I just have to accept that little part of me is mental?
Author SarahT111 Posted February 28, 2008 Author Posted February 28, 2008 I hope im not mental! But im honestly starting to think I am I miss him so much Why did he never shed a tear over me I know everyone copes differently but he was in a serious realtionship the next day and refused to talk to me ever again Now he cries over this girl! I dont know what to do :mad: Would you guys kill me if I contacted him? I just really want to talk to him. I miss him so much I know he doesn't love me anymore, I know he probably never did but im having extreme trouble coping! I loved and chased after this guy for years before he asked me out He had no respect for me and went out with tons of other girls and talked about how great they were even when he knew I really liked him Then I FINALLY got him after over 1.5years of chasing. I guess he was lonely as there was no hot blonde around so he finally gave me a chance. I loved him unconditionally and he was obsessed with me for a time! Everything was perfect! Just what I had wished for all those years! Then things changed, he changed and started to get nasty. Eventually he dumped me for another hot blonde and flicked me away like a piece of garbage. He was so cruel and refused to speak to me. He jumped into a serious realtionship with her straight away and never had a second thought of me I dont even know why im writing all this! Ive said it a millions times before and I know you ALL must be so sick of it! But I just cant explain what im going through! I loved this guy soooooooooooooo much He made me so happy. I have loved him for ages. Yet he never returned anywhere near the amount of commitment and love. So how do I get over this?! Now that I have had him its even worse I cant bear the thought of him being with other girls and not having feeling for me!! I want so bad to move on and forget him but I have been in love with him for years and years and I just cant tear myself away How could he do this to me Why would he hurt me so bad when he knew how much I loved him? I dont understand! I couldnt hurt someone like that EVER!!!! especially not someone who thought so highly of me! Ahh I hate my life at the moment! I miss him to death! I miss just having his friendship. But he wont even give me that hmmmmmmmmmmmm
Belkin Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 Well if you're mental so am I then! I just got back from my week of vacation. It was great fun and all, except for having her on my mind ALL THE TIME. And I mean really ALL the time, there wasn't even 5 minutes when I didn't think of her (I even dreamed of her every night!) How obsessed is that? And yeay, youpi yeay, I'm seeing her again probably as soon as tomorrow... I had hoped this week would really help me advance, but not so much after all. So just so you know Sarah, you're not alone in this! I still love her soooo much despite myself. I wish someone would come up with an "unlove your ex" pill! That would make things so much easier... (Oh and rejoice, I just saw we're both Established Members! Whatever that means...)
ashieannie Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 It seems to me that he got into that relationship too fast and maybe it was his way of coping. And now since he is grieving a lot for this othe girl, I think it also has alot of grief from you also because he never dealt with it in the first place! So he is grieving for 2 relationships! Does it make sense?
Author SarahT111 Posted March 2, 2008 Author Posted March 2, 2008 Belkin what is wrong with us! We are nuts!!!!! Where do we go from here?! I just wish so much he would be outa my mind and life for good! Its been almost 3 months since he dumped me and 3 months of NC and I still love him and miss him! Today I was honestly inches away from calling him and asking for him back!! Im nuts! And I hope he is grieveing two relationships. Then he might understand what its like to hurt!
Mary3 Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 OP I know you *wish* with all your heart that he will come back.... Thats the dumpee's fantasy. Its an extreme form of rejection to be dumped. What did I do wrong~ type of mentality. .. This man is not suffering for you . Not yearning... nor crying for you.... You do not love this man. You do not love yourself right now either.... You need to HEAL and YOU are the most important person right now. What he does right now , what he feels right now , has nothing to do with YOU. Thats my point here. You are not in his world anymore. You have your own world to create now. It will take a longggg time for you to get to this point. So thats where you become obsessed with YOURSELF You look for all forms of healing and growth right now. You will replace your obsession of him with YOURSELF. Everytime you think about him I want you to construct a word such as NO ! You are in control of your thoughts . Not some x boyfriend whom you chased for a longggggg time , finally got him , and he got tired of your obsession and dumped you. My heart feels for you. I felt devastated a few years ago and everything was fast fast and then poof gone ! I want to see you come from a stronger place where you don't put your entire world invested into one man.
Belkin Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 I think we're addicted and suffering the pains of withdrawal... I agree with Mary3, force yourself not to think of him (and I know it's almost impossible...) Here's what I tried, and it did work while I was at it: learn the alphabet backwards. Each time you start thinking about him concentrate on ZYXWV ,UTSR QPONM. LKJ, IHG, FEDC, B and A. Once you can sing it as fast as from A to Z, the effect wears off though... But at least you'll have learned a cool trick
RecordProducer Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 He is also the one that got dumped this time- so he is dealing with REJECTION. It's harder to be rejected than be the rejector. Yes, I was gonna say that, too. I know you must think im crazy You actually sound way too normal to me. What is so wrong with me that he could just not care at all?!!!?! I'll tell you what's wrong with you: you have a disease called "dumped." the symptoms are a broken heart and a broken vanity (ego). You'll heal soon and find someone who is worth more than this douchbag. He left you after 2.5 years and was cruel to you - he is a major, major jerk. How could he get over me in less than 24 hours and never talk to me again and move on happily with another girl without looking back!! Because he stopped loving you and you haven't stopped loving him YET. But you will. I promise. I just want this to be over!!!! I want him out of my head and I want to put it all behind me That's a very healthy attitude and the first step to healing. And you know what? The feeling of getting over someone is incredible! You feel like you were given some inhuman power in exchange for your troubles, and you know that you can use that power for anyone who might dump you in the future. See, I earned this power when I got over my ex-H. At the time I thought my life was over. Now when my second husband told me he wants to divorce me, I know I can get over him. It might take some time, but I will. And I am not wondering what's wrong with me. I know: they are both insecure and didn't deserve me, they are full of issues and I am a much better person than they are. I cant help but hope he will contact me and apologize and show he has some emotion for me But i no he wont! Well, thank God! Why do you need a piece of sh*t like him? Keep posting sweetie. How old are you? Do you have a job/got to school?
Zacky Posted March 3, 2008 Posted March 3, 2008 Wow, its crazy how many similarities our situations have. I was with my ex for 2.5 years as well and she broke up with me without much emotion. She then got a BF and he dumped her after 2 months. So now im at the 3.5 months and still single, dont want to be, yet ive rejected the three girls who have wanted to be with me. Anyone else have problems with liking or even making a connection with other people post breakup?
Author SarahT111 Posted March 4, 2008 Author Posted March 4, 2008 Wow that sux!! Sorry to hear that! Im at the 3 months stage almost! Its been horrible!!! And yes I cant like or even make a connection with anyone either! All I want is my ex!! I must be mad!
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